All Comments on 'Building Inspection Ch. 05'

by ausfet

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  • 4 Comments
LinneaLundinLinneaLundinover 6 years ago
Excellent, Thank You

Wrapped up very nicely. You never cease to amaze me with your story telling skill. I love that your characters have their own stories that are woven into then larger world that revolves around Kyle.

CharlieB4CharlieB4over 6 years ago
Incredible Talent.

I love your storytelling. I don't know if it's because I'm from Australia but I see clearly the vivid pictures you paint with your words. And then there are the characters, adding layers of depth as the story unfolds.

I jumped into this series after reading your recent offering in Loving Wives. The first two chapters were good but after that you really hit your straps. So often I've read "swinger" stories and have felt the emotional toll of sharing the one you love has been glossed over. I have no experience of the lifestyle but the interplay between the characters rang true for me as they navigated the tricky path between love and desire. Well done 5 *

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Must be a cultural artifact of the British influence, . . .

marriage is just an arrangement of convenience, casual with limited commitment. They can fuck around with their bodies and their emotions as they please, its all just good fun. And in the end, who really cares? Once the girls are grown and gone Sarah will probably move in with Mark, while Caleb will move in with Lisa and his son. Or maybe they will all move back and forth, as the mood and the opportunity strikes them. He can honestly say that he never loved his wife more than he does now, because he has never loved her very much. He gave her away, on a whim, for a fucking sexual thrill. He deserves losing her, to a much better man.

One question answers it all: Would Mark have given Sarah to another man to fuck? Why do you think Sarah loves him, so much? If she can she will soon have his child.

You story tells more than it says.

Peter_ClevelandPeter_Cleveland4 months ago

I read this 5-part series in two days: it's a real "page turner," and I enjoyed reading it. Before I was halfway through, two admirable things about the prose struck me. The first is the writer's craftsmanship in "laying the groundwork" for events that happen later in the story. For example, Sarah's latent bisexuality and her fantasies of having a penis (noted in an earlier chapter) make her strap-on sex with Alannah in Chapter 5 seem a natural development of the plot (and a nifty parallel), not a bizarre surprise. (Craftsmanship is even a theme of these chapters.)

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Secondly, Caleb's complex emotional responses to his wife's intimacy with Mark, including her adultery, struck me as very realistic--much truer to experience than the husband's simple outrage, contempt, and lust for revenge that is the standard response in Literotica stories. The characters Caleb and Sarah are very good achievements for a writer; I ended up impressed by and liking all three of them (and Mark too, for that matter).

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One small grumble. The issue of fathering Lisa's (Sunny's?) baby seemed a bit too big and profound to serve as a minor plot-thread in a story focusing on something else. Even so: 5* x 5 for this series.

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Don't get too excited, I'm not dead. Thanks to everyone who has emailed, voted and commented. Thanks also to the lovely folk who have edited my stories and provided advice. About me: 38, married, two kids, two dogs, live in Brisbane. To answer some of the most commonly...

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