All Comments on 'Bump, Set, Spike'

Sorry,meant to give you 4 stars but hit the 3.

Here I thought she was hurt but it turns out she was hurting for him and just playing like it hurt a lot and all she wanted was his dick all the time.! Women ~~ go figure.!

Do we get a part 2 to this story or is that the end of ohhhh my thigh and ankle hurt.??

I too believe you should have a chapter 2. This could get really interesting.

Expand the story a little bit more. It sounded like a quick hook up.

But she is a Hott!! volley ball player so there has to be a "jock" some where in the Story who Believes she is His. Plus him being invisable would Quickly dis-appear with them being seen together. So maybe a lil jealousy on her part. Mistaking something for more then it is. Like helping a fellow Student Female of course who is in a study group with him but is in a Relationship with another.

C'mon! "Intimidated" is the word you were looking for.

Here's a tip. Get yourself a thesaurus. And USE it.

Maybe you can avoid the grade-school mistakes many other "writers" on this site are making - "shuttering" instead of "shuddering" is a biggy....

Oh, and please try to picture in your mind the positions you put your character into - better yet, actually try them out! Nothing hits a jarring note quite like an impossible position: viewing, spanking, diddling all at once in the position you described just ain't gonna fly unless you're an octopus AND a contortionist....

Nice first effort. It was a bit short and there wasn't enough character development. Perhaps a scene of him being tongue tied with Emily after class would set the stage a little more. but please keep writing. I gave you 5 stars because you deserve more than four and there is no way to give fractions but take this as an opportunity to move forward and don't pay attention to the downers and the nay sayers who just want to rain on your parade. I'm taling to you Mr anonymous coward!