All Comments on 'Business Trip Surprise'

great to read such a sensual writing by another Ohioan (Cincinnati here)...also nice to read one on this site which needs no editing...lastly you made me cum right when she said "I love hearing you in the throes of passion".

thanks, Bron

I stopped reading after about 2 to 4 lines because you use 'you' instead of a name. I want to read about (imaginary) people and not about things.

Writing in the second person POV makes for an awkward story. Please try writing in the first or third person to see if you get better results.

I have to agree. When I seen a story, whether in print or electrinic, and it's in second person, I close it and go on to something else. For me, reading second person is like banging my head against a wall. Not fun.