Bustin' Out

"She broke the law, Mary."

"By being herself and choosing not to hide? What's the harm, Danny?" Putting on her best conciliatory smile, Mary continued. "Danny, you're a good guy, you know how unjust the Libido Control Act is, don't you? I've seen how you look at me with pity when I'm bound in public!"

"Be that as it may, the law is the law, Mary."

"But the law is a silly, stupid one!"

"The fount ties knots that--"

"You don't believe that, Danny! You've known us all your life! You know better than to think that way about us! You could just tell the other cops you've searched the house and couldn't find anyone."

"They are here, then!" Danny drew his gun.

"Danny, please!" Mary was reduced to begging, in vain she now knew, as the flash of a siren roared through the dark out on the porch. "You know it's an evil law, Danny, you can help put an end to it!"

Danny looked long and hard at the young woman he had adored for so long. He gazed into her begging eyes even as he was aware of his two colleagues standing at the door.

"Danny?" one of them asked.

Danny turned around. "Guys, I think they're upstairs."

Mary stood back helplessly as one of the other cops came inside to follow Danny upstairs. Before the third one could enter, a sound of gravel being disturbed rang out from just beyond the house. "We got someone here!" he exclaimed. Danny and the other officer came rushing after him, and the sisters after them, in time to see Eddie picking himself up off the ground. Dazed, he tried to run, but the officer who had spotted him easily tackled him. "Where do you think you're going, buddy?" he said.

"Lemme go!" Eddie squirmed about beneath him, but it was hopeless.

"Where's the girl?" Danny demanded.

"Up here."

They all looked up to see Laurie standing on the porch roof. "If you want to take me, fine," she said. "But let him go."

"That's not your decision to make," Danny called up to her. "You're both wanted."

"Danny!" Mary tried again. "Can't you just --"

"Shut up!" Danny snapped. In the heat of the exchange, both of the other officers took their eyes off Eddie for a moment, and he managed to wriggle out. Danny whipped around and called out, "Freeze!"

Eddie did not freeze. He continued running for the woods at full speed.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" called the cop who had subdued him.

Eddie did not stop. The cop shot him, and caught him cleanly in the back. Eddie staggered and fell to the ground.

"Nooooooo!" Laurie shrieked from the roof. "You bastard! You wanted me, not him!" In a rage, she jumped off the roof and lunged at the shooter. He easily stepped out of the way, but Laurie managed to land on her feet and she took another swipe at him.

"Hey, calm down!" said the third officer. "No need to make this worse than it already is!"

Laurie responded only with a rageful swipe at him as well. This time she did make contact, and got her hands tight around his throat. The cop gagged and flailed at Laurie, but she had no trouble fighting him off and continued to squeeze the life out of him.

"You fucking murderers! What's it to you what I wear anyway! What did he do to you?! What did --"

A shot rang out, from one or the other of the deputies, who both had their guns drawn, and Laurie joined her true love on the ground.

All three cops and all three sisters stood stock still, looking in disbelief at the two bodies, and they held their poses as the curtain fell. The audience looked fairly stunned at the ending, as they usually were, but for the third night in a row they burst into heavy applause as the deputies, the sisters, the officemates, Laurie's parents and finally Laurie and Eddie came out to take a bow. As usual, Jess got the loudest cheers of all from her portrayal of Laurie. She was gratified to see even many of the men in the audience on their feet and cheering for her.

Jess waved the audience to silence. "Thank you," she said. Observing the wild variety of outfits the audience sported for the campus Halloween bash later that night, she added, "Nice costumes. Listen, I don't want to hold anyone up from the party later on, but I am pleased to announce there'll be a discussion group in the lounge upstairs to discuss victim blaming and the dangers of asking victims to change their behavior, and the risk that a story like this could actually happen in the future. I'll be there to share my insights on what I've learned playing Laurie, and I hope you can join us. All are welcome, even in costume -- in fact, especially that! It'll make the whole topic a bit more lighthearted, and we could use that. Hope to see you there, and yes, there will be candy. But, sorry, guys, I won't be wearing these!" She squeezed her huge fake breasts, drawing a laugh from the audience, and ducked back behind the curtain.

As usual, not all of the men were impressed. Jolene Adams, who was proud to be known as the most controversial writer for the college newspaper, was not surprised to hear the half-dozen or so guys from the Campus Men's Rights Resource Group pipe up a few rows behind her. "Fuck feminiazis! Fuck feminazis!" they chanted.

Jolene, whom the men's rights group called "our sweet li'l Lois Lane wannabe," ignored the epithets and approached them with a painted-on smile. She noted without surprise that the mostly upper-middle-class suburban boys were all dressed as a biker gang for Halloween. "Guys, have you got a comment for me that could actually be printed?"

"Yeah!" snapped one of them -- Jolene thought his name was Mike something. "Just 'cause some of us don't want to turn men into pansies doesn't mean we're monsters, and it doesn't mean you've gotta outlaw tits. Just wear your fucking bra in public and don't expect to be a tease with no consequences, and real men will leave you alone!"

"And Republicans don't want to punish women like that, neither!" called out another, whom Jolene hadn't seen before. "We're the ones who actually respect women, not like those feminazis who want to tell them what they can and can't think. Just 'cause I support traditional values doesn't mean I hate anyone. Except feminazis."

"And your name is?" Jolene asked the young man, jotting down on her pad that he was wearing a t-shirt with a German phrase on it that, based on her memories of high-school German, appeared to read "I'm not sorry for anything."

"Don't tell her, man!" Mike snapped. "She's a reporter for the paper, all the chicks on campus'll know what you just said!"

"Is that a bad thing?" Jolene asked. "I mean, if you're big enough to come here and chant against the play, don't you want people knowing where you stand?"

"Course we do, but we don't need you putting words in our mouth, Jolene!" Mike said as the other guys nodded their agreement. "Once you put your spin on it, Pete won't be able to get laid to save his life!"

"Pete is your name, is it?"

"Aw crap, I'm sorry, Pete!" Mike said. "But look, he didn't tell you, that means you can't quote him! At least not by name."

Jolene looked at Pete. He seemed a bit greener and less hardened than the others; maybe there was hope for him. "I'll tell you what," she said. "If you go to the discussion group Jess mentioned and listen to the other side of the story, I won't quote you by name."

"I --" Pete began, but Mike cut him off.

"He's not here to make deals with you, bitch!"

"I didn't say he was, but I believe he had something to say."

"I-"

"Shut your mouth, Pete!"

"Mike, I can handle this myself!" To Jolene, Pete continued, "I already was going to the discussion group. I kind of have to, 'cause I'm dating Jess. She'd never go out with me again if I didn't show my face up there."

"Are you going to tell her what you really think?" Jolene was beyond surprised that Jess would date a guy like this.

"Course not!" Pete said, triggering guffaws and laughs from the other guys. "But she doesn't need to know, does she? I'll play Mister Nice Guy like I know I have to do, and see if I can't talk some sense into her later on as we get to know one another better. I figure women always see the light when they mature."

"I...see," Jolene said, taking down notes. Jess was a close friend of hers, and keeping her cool was tougher than usual at the moment. "Tell me, how do you feel about Jess doing the sex and masturbation scenes in the play?"

"Why the fuck do you think he comes here at all?" Mike interjected.

"Or any guy in the audience," Pete added. "But it's okay, she's an actress and she's already told me what she thinks of the guy who plays Eddie. Think he's a faggot anyway, which says a lot about why he'd play a part like this."

"Remember, Jolene, you can't quote him by name!" Mike reminded her, and Jolene was pleased to see real fear in Pete's eyes.

"Quite right, I can't," Jolene said, bringing an unlikely look of gratitude from Pete. "Enjoy the Halloween party, guys."

Jolene walked off to get other quotes from the audience while waiting for the discussion group. She already had Pete's quote mapped out for the article, complete with no name attribution as directed. He would simply be "a student wearing a biker outfit replete with a t-shirt reading a politically incorrect comment in German," and he could wait and see if Jess recalled who was dressed like that at the discussion.