All Comments on 'But is it Immoral? Ch. 02'

Read like a fairy tale. And they lived happily ever after.

Ugh 3 stars

too late,,,too little....TK U MLJ LV NV

For sharing.

I wasn't going to read this at first because I'm not too big a fan of sequels. They tend to be too long and dragged out and don't relate to the first story.

This was short and to the point. Thank you for not making a good story heavy with a bunch of chapters.

To unbelievable to be real. A happy ending? You did not need to do this , it really killed a good story.by turning it into a soap opera!

Lap, your sequel is very good and very readable. Being a history freak and knowing what I have read--and seen of Chicago politics and crime, your story was rather believable. Jack & Dalton are obviously a couple of very good practical jokers, and when they get to scheming together, watch out!

Those commenters who think a fairy tail ending to ANY situation is absolutely out of the question either are very jaded cynics or just plain idiots wearing blindfolds. (Man, am I going to catch it for that!:). They need to learn that real life isn't all trials, troubles, and tribulations. Stranger--and happier--things have happened, so take off the blindfolds & see the light dummies.

Excellent writing as usual but a horrible story...

Never thought I would be rating your work 1 star. I suggest you write what you feel is true to you're characters instead of listening to what your readers want you're characters to do.

Apart from the ridiculousness of having Dalton save the day, he's just a photographer ffs, you hook Jean up with a guy who first met her while she was cheating on her husband in a seedy hotel room? WTF! No man in real life would hook up with a woman if he knew her past like that and then marries her after only 6 months?

Then we have Jean, who couldn't live her life without her little bondage kink, was willing to risk her marriage because she had to act on those desires, now wants nothing to do with being submissive?

And Dalton, the guy who wanted his cheating ex-wife out of his life so he wouldn't have to live with the pain of her betrayal everyday, is now ok with his current wife being BFF's with his cheating ex-wife!

Way to shit all over you're previous outstanding work.

I cannot see the outcome happening as it is written, I 'saw' Dalton as a vindictive, conniving person and in my mind would most probably have made sure that Jean was 'hooked' up with Kevin and it would have made him content to know she was being beaten to a bloody mess on a regular basis, he comes across as very vengeful. As to Jean and Tracy being friends ...AS IF!!!

when you were WAY ahead. I really liked your first 4 chapters, but these last 2 were so implausible and unbelievable that it ruined the whole story. Continue to write, but leave this mess behind and start something new.

Keep going your going to be a great writer, , might even make some money....bill

Great series of stories. Keep writing. I look forward to your next story.

seen Jean have a miserable life. She was a cheating skank and deserved nothing but pain.

but nice twist at the end. Thanks for writing.

For those of us who are "straight," story is pathetic.

I read the entire series in one sitting and loved it. Regardless of what some would say, I like the fact that this shows that even though there is no way back from cheating that a relationship that is built over years does not vanish...nor should it. Keep up the good work.

Cooch6512 summed it up for me...I did the same thing, and it's now 6:07am. I gave it a 5 because a 6 is not available.

Jean wasn't evil - just misguided and kind of dumb. I like a happily ever after for the characters in this series.

First off, let me say, I gave the story a five. My only question is that you stated that Tracy broke up with her fiance four years ago and that she had trust issues . She had not been involved since. However, you went on to say that she had not had sex in two years. Did I miss something or was it just a slip on your part?

I don't know why you thought your readers wouldn't like your direction on the "It's Against the Law" Sequel, but I for one really enjoyed it. I like a happy ending when appropriate (she made a mistake but was truly remorseful).

The bent of the people in it - the D/s stuff is not an issue for the story's trajectory or the concepts involved. It could have been any controversial issue that she failed to work out with Dalton and then found herself compromised by. This one was purely sexual and not the "norm" so it worked perfectly. She failed to trust her partner and she lost.

She grew up in the following years and found a way to be a better person - most of us go through something like that - many before we get out of high school - but still she got it and fixed it - with a lot of help. She earned her future.

Glad they all grew o.d happy - it is nice once in a while to see people improve and benefit from their horrible choices, or character failures.

Glad you finished out "It's Against the Law" by telling Jean's story and how her life turned out. I think she paid enough for her wrongs with Dalton. Gave 5 stars because can't give any more. The few comments I've read, I think it has gotten more positive votes than about any other.

BTW you would "tell a soul" not "tell a sole", unless you are into to talking to the bottom of your shoes! LOL

One discrepancy that caught my eye. At the end of the first series, Jean's were talking to Dalton, and revealed that Jean had dated but they had seen bruises on her. In the beginning of the second series, Jean reveals that she hadn't done any dating or BDSM stuff since being divorced by Dalton.

Looking for your other submissions to read next.

Can this be the same author that wrote Last Chimes of Autumn? Part 1 was revolting and Part 2 is shallow and unbelievable. 3 stars.

A happy ending for a cheater in this category? Well written tale but I believe this sequel wasn't necessary.

Just my half-assed opinion.

I know some people don't like the woman to stop suffering, but I do. I liked how angry Dalton got when he heard his ex-wife was beaten. There was the potential for some very kinky BDSM 4-some stuff a sicker mind might have conjured up, but I'll gladly take the happy ending. Why do some people think a cheater has to suffer forever? Unlike some stories, where the spouse turns into a psychotic bitch from hell, this woman never stopped loving her husband and he stills feels the need to take care of her post-divorce. That's being a bigger man, not a sad BTB guy. One of the best "her point of view" stories I've read in a long time.

I was so worried that after the first series you would do something to make me wish I had not read this, but you didn't. In fact you exceeded my expectations and not only provided a fantastic adventure, but a fantastic romance as well! This joins a list of stories that I would dearly love to see made into full length books. Self publishing is not that hard and I honestly think that you have a winner in this story. It enough action, adventure and romance to appeal to a very broad spectrum of readers, and the B&D element only adds to the story without overwhelming the whole thing.

So, if you see this comment, please consider revisiting this story and try to expand it into a full length book. Just keep everything you already have and expand enough to make it a book. I think you'll be rewarded if you do.

I thought for sure that they had actually set him up for a mob hit and admit a bit of disappointment that they only made him think the mob was after him.

but they should have sent the pictures to Tony. Thanks for the entertainment.

Yes, it was contrived as all get out, but very well done, and I really enjoyed the ride!

So what's so terrible about a happy ending for Jean? Didn't she suffer enough?

Let's see -

1) She loses her husband and almost goes off the deep end

2) She sees her ex a successful artist with a wife and beautiful baby

3) Her ex plays BDSM games with his new wife that he presumably WOULD have played with her if she had trusted him enough to share her fantasies

4) She falls into a BDSM relationship with a sadist who beats her viciously and leaves her in fear for herself and her family.

Yup, she got off REAL easy.

is in the same series as chapter 01

i guess we really do have the comments & feedback from Against the law , to thank for this story.

...

i can't see any other reason for the Author to write it , except as a huge blown raspberry .. the good ole bronx cheer .. and a well deserved Bird / Finger

to the detracters / trolls & wannabee writers out there..

...

as such it was not the usual quality ...

but thats to be expected when the Author is not really overly interested in what they are writing ..

Congrats. Great story. Five out of five. I liked all the characters in these two stories. Jean suffered enough and deserved some happiness. I was a bit worried by how dark the first chapter was, but it worked out fine. Clearly you are a talented writer with a strong sense of balance. One constructive criticism though. When Dalton and Tracy are having sex and she has a screaming orgasm, remember they have a baby in the house. For realism you could either have the baby wake up crying and them comment on how things are a bit different now or have Tracy stifle her screams so as not to wake the baby. And for continuity I suggest mentioning Jean's bruises again later in the story; perhaps a reference to the bruises having faded. Cheers Steve

Does it make me a bad person if the fact that her achieving happiness at the end pisses me off? If so then I guess I'm a bad person because I was hoping she'd end up alone for the rest of her life but lo and behold this stupid bitch actually ends up part of the group. Great story but at least for me it was a disappointing end. I mean i of course felt sorry for her for being raped and what not but still. She got what she wanted. She just didn't know what it meant.

Thanks for completing the story - good ending but it's topi bad Kevin didn't get his ass kicked or totally eliminated by the mob (he deserved it).

Five from me and thank you for your work.

I don't mind your parochial vocabulary, and quaint Midwestern ways, but your editing and proof-reading are frustrating to the average reader.

I enjoyed the story. Well worth my 5* vote. Thanks for writing.

Oh BTW, to the 7/21/17 annony comment titles "Editor?" that said "I don't mind your parochial vocabulary, and quaint Midwestern ways, but your editing and proof-reading are frustrating to the average reader." Here's a pat on your little fevered brow and a "Bless your heart" (as we say in the south) Don't you know that all the LW readers are above average? (with my apologies to Garrison Keillor).

Not a fan of the sequel, it was much more about Joan than Dalton so it didn't feel like much of a sequel to me.

I wasn't a fan of the non-consent stuff either, just felt a bit tasteless. Also, with Joan ending up with Eric almost out of the blue it just felt too much like some authors has an incessant need to to pair everyone up before the curtain closes.

Since you started this you should have finished it. Jean wanted kink, Dalton didn't know if he wanted kink or not. Tracey WAS KINKY Dalton loved the kink and control it gave him over his beloved. Yes he did want the kinky stuff. The three of them would have been great KINKY TOGETHER. Jean loved Dalton she tried to give him what she thought they both wanted, KINK! Well kink IS what he wanted because that's what he got from Tracey. Both Tracey and Jean wanted him to be happy they all would have been happy together doing what they all wanted (being kinky). What was the point of the last lines of the first story. "You ask her no you ask her- Jean runs away after being so upset she vomited knowing what she lost." Tracey wanted Jean because Dalton wanted Jean back in his life and wanted what made him happy. Tracey was his submissive making Him happy was Wanting Jean too! Dalton had everything he wanted a beautiful understanding sexy baby maker and a beautiful thoughtul overt sexy woman.

You started this then chickened out, I'm not a fan of this type of story but I can see when people switch because they want to please others.

Don't worrt about others we are all big kids and know how to find good stories write and be true to yourself. I like your style keep writing we'll be back!

I will say for a continuation of a earlier story, I liked this sequel immensely.

Bravo

Hello, this is one of the very best writers on here. I love this writer for both his long and short stories. No punches pulled here. Now tell me what man wouldn't help his ex if she was beaten like her? Come on guys admit it a five star story.

You should write Suspense and Mystery novels with Dalton as your lead character and Jack as a lead in another series and or combine them them in a special series. In the styles of authors Philip R. Craig and William G. Apply and they're characters J.W. Jackson and Brady Coyne. Big Fan. Thanx

My only complaint is that I wish it was longer. The ending was a logical closure, but I enjoyed it so much that I didn't want it to end. I second the Anonymous comment, Dalton and Jack are fantastic characters; they're strong, well-developed, and worthy of more stories.

Great story...wonderful character development

This was a fitting end to a well written story. The character development was top notch.

Outstanding story. Very well done.

Thanks for the enjoyment.

Sorry but I have say that Dalton was condescending jerk.

How the hell was Dalton a condescending jerk? He helped his ex-wife out of a serious jam. He even let Eric tell her the good news so Eric would have a better shot with Jean, which it worked out well because Jean kissed Eric after hearing the good news.

Dalton did nothing wrong at all this entire story. I could maybe see some people getting mad at the author for making Dalton a saint, but a jerk? C'mon Man!

I have a confession tho, I had thoughts of Dalton and his wife taking Jean in. Hey! It's literotica! Wow, where would that have gone? ??

Great story, Thanks

But I think where you said "A few shorts weeks later both women SUPPORTED baby bumps..." you meant to say "A few short weeks later both women SPORTED baby bumps..."

Eat shit and die! Good " feel good " story, laptop; onr of the few that really belong in the LW category.

Great story and follow up to it's against the law.

Held my attention from start to finish and loved the happy ending.

I liked the first 4 chapters but please if you aren't conversant with BDSM please refrain.

Dalton is not a Dom. He may have a dominant sexuality but he was maneuvered into participating....it doesn't emerge from within. Its POSSIBLE that Jean and Tracy are true submissives but Dalton is more or less a kinky vanilla. Or at least switchy. .And there's nothing wrong with that!

He should have just claimed Jean back, made her the junior slave, and Tracy would have to lump it.

Everyone in the lifestyle knows how hard it is to come to grips with their identity, that many mistakes are made along the way, and that truth and forgiveness are critical to being self aware.

Would have liked to see Kevin physically disabled! When nothing happens over the course of three or four years, he will certainly be tempted to revert to his previous lifestyle. Enjoyed this follow up.

Excellent followup, some nomenclature issues but that's nitpicking. Really great read and satisfying ending to the story. 5 stars.

eyes got all watery at the end.....weird, reading this, it's almost like a good novel.....but the sex was a little more than what you'd read in a normal novel. Thanks.....some real teary-eyed spots......

Of Kevin, not hard when you're a cop, we used to do it all of the time. Even worked with Chicago PD, they were great to work with unlike Detroit. Just anytime he seemed to start to relax a tad send him a tickle that someone was asking around about him. Cockroaches tend to panic when the lights come on. Signed: BTW

I am not into any type of bdsm. Just about skipped these sequels. Your preface warning of what to expect kept me reading. So glad I did.

Your stories are excellent

Story OK

Thank-you for a very nice wrap-up. :)

When bad boy fled town he apparently took the car with the dealer plates? Or did he just leave it because he had his own personal car at the apartment?

Fun set of stories.

Good wrap up, I loved it.

It may be prudent to name these the same title as the originals (It’s Against The Law pts 5 & 6) to avoid anyone missing out a great ending.

Betrayed her marriage to experience it, kept getting hooked up to continue it, but then when it went from fantasy to reality, then she decided, Oh, never mind. Absurd. Eric deserves whatever he gets from this brainless slut. Let's hope its all good.

I appreciate your effort and enthusiasm, but your writing style is wordy and tiring. Way too many and too much detail about things and scenes and actions that are incidental or add nothing to the story. Who cares exactly what they had for dinner, descriptions of pointless ruminations about what might have happened, or could happened, or should have happened. Descriptions of hotels, rooms, meals, clothing, ad nauseum. A careful reader focuses on these details because we expect they play some role in the plot. Then we find out its just scenery, backdrop, filler? I ended up skimming most of the planning details and discussions, the escape and sequestering details, and of course the BDSM descriptions. Bondage is at best juvenile, and at worst a very severe mental dysfunction, for all participants.

I am drawn to an epilogue where Eric gets shot and paralyzed in the line of duty, Dalton and Tracy start out helping Jean, and Jean ends up participating in BDSM threesomes with them. When Eric finds out Jean has reverted to betraying her husband for BDSM sex he crawls out of bed and eats his service revolver. Everyone else lives happily ever after. Have a nice day.

And thanks for the effort.

I did like it. It didn't seem as intricate or as insightful as some of your other stories but I realize you wrote this seven years ago. I guess that means your writing skills have improved as your repertoire has expanded. Thank you, looking forward to reading more.

What a great sequel that wrapped up It's Against the law series bringing the two lives of Dalton and Jean to a conclusion with each getting their own happily ever after. I believe Jean in the end because of first loosing it all with Dalton, then living 4 years in a pitiful lonely existence while reflecting on what she had lost because of her stupid fantasies would teach her what was important in life, and realize how important vows and commitment are in a marriage. So in the end she realized she was she was being given that second chance and was determined to have a faithful and successful marriage to Eric. Well done 5 stars

Great Sequel.

However, Kevin needed to be physically disabled, preventing him from preying on other unsuspecting females! Jean was saved but what of his future victims? The fright engendered would eventually wear off and he would be back in the hunt again! The man was evil and needed to be taken down. Other than a few inappropriately used words, a 5* story.

well...sketchy english...pouring instead of poring...perhaps expecting too much from this site...did not keep track of others, but there were others...

aside from poor english, however, flow is good, story is ok. thanks!

very very good result.

5⭐

Jean suffered a lot from his mistake, you were not kind.

She deserves to end her happy life well.

Would have preferred a sequel where Jean and Dalton ended up together again.

Nicely done. Now for the third story in this series, please tell us how Dalton and Tracy begin swapping with Joan and Eric while the two couples are vacationing together in the Caribbean. Of course, Dave and Bel get invited into the mix once they return home. Surprisingly, Bel discovers she has latent talents as a bisexual dominatrix.

You can pull it off, LTW. It will be great.

A happy ending without a stupid timriv comment.

My first smile in this story was Dave telling Bel about Daltons' "...little band of mauraders." Another one came when I found myself wishing those faked photo weren't faked. Good ending that felt just right. Seems I was correct about Kevin not having those friends and Jeans future getting darker, bringing to mind the old saying about it being darkest before the dawn. Deservedly then, He said "Let there be light and by God there was." LTW, thanks for setting the world back spinning on greased wheels. *****'s of course, all of the way through in case I missed saying it somewhere. Signed: BTW

Very nicely done.

Wow, great turnaround for Jean. 5 stars

Really liked this one I am glad jean found love in the end with a happy family life herself and a new group of friends five star

To laptopwriter : Fun well written story. BTRH..

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The only thing I found a bit confusing was there was obviously no communication between dalton an his ex wife wen still married where did his discovery of bdsm come from an y did he never mention it to his wife he’s not totally blameless in the divorce an one more thing adultery is morally wrong but not illegal so how did the police arrest her I know it’s fantasy but still if adultery WAS illegal we would need more prisons lol

@ confused anonymous: You should try reading the prologues to a story. They usually contain information you can use. This is the sequel to, "It's Was Against the Law," and yes, in certain states, including Illinois, where this story took place, adultery IS against the law. It is a misdemeanor and if you read the prologue to that story, you will discover how it was written.

There goes that arc of redemption thing again! Good! So much a five-star tale. Everyone ended up happy, except that horrible guy.

A good effort to correct the shooting.

Good one!

Glad to see Jean found someone. I felt bad for her in the original series. She had a deep dark desire with D/s. And while she had a number of encounters with the jerk, none of them progressed to non dildo penetration until the last time when her husband caught her after calling the cops on them. And even then was 'forced' oral. Yes she cheated and betrayed the marriage. Yes shenshould not have held things in. But she was repressed and ashamed. She thought if she asked him henwould leave her. I am sure she would have loved to do the bondage with her husband. So she cheated and experiment on thr side with what would be coined an experimental affair and in reality only partial at best. Husband was Old Testament so no way back. But in such cases when confronted with the why and seeing the details of the semi-affair, counseling could have probably save the marriage if botnaides were willing to fight for it. Instead the husband was a prime jerk, going for three jugular. Like I said Jean really fucked up but I can see how she feels trapped. Her judgment was impaired and give time she would have gone to vaginal and/or anal intercourse. But with where it stopped with police arresting them, this could be a "come to Jesus moment' for Jean and they could save their marriage with counseling. One ofnthe biggest issues is trust. With her confessing her bondage desires and if he were not repulsed, the solution is obvious. Screw your husband to bonds get themes. Didn't like the husband.

HEY LAPTOPWRITER

could you do a different ending starting at where Dalton says you should’ve asked, and entails Jean joining Tracy and Dalton as a tri relationship, you can have her beg or ask with a defeated look or whatever. The story can end with Jean having a child and everyone all happy with a big family and stuff. I bet that it’ll get a higher rating than both stories of Is it Immoral?

Glad Jean found redemption and happiness. She had suffered enough. Good story

Well done.

Nicely done!

Enjoyed this chapter and great ending. Thanks for your writing.

5 stars. WOW!!! A very satisfying story and a happy ending for Jean.

Thanks for the heads up laptopwriter. This one had me holding my breath a couple of times but I loved the ending. Just wish Kevin could have got his ass kicked, a lot. If he did haul ass in the Escalade he could be up for grand theft auto because if I remember right it belonged to the dealership, or at least had dealer tags. Jean was just a special kind of stupid, but still didn't deserve the beatings she got. She diffidently needs someone to take care of her and thankfully Eric stepped up for the job. After all, he's seen all her "attributes" when he was in on her arrest. Five stars, even with the D/s.

Really a great story.

No me parece un mal final, pero tomando en cuenta toda la historia, me haré un final alternativo para mi gusto personal.

Variation of the 'Sting'?

Alls well that ends Well.

Good story I must be a romantic at heart I love it when it all turns out lovey dovey (jaybee186)

I almost stop reading after the attack, i thought it was going to go another way and non consent is not really my thing, but im glad I kept at it. It was a good short story, and a nice close up for first part

Eh. Dalton still sucks. Why did you have to have Jean tortured before her happy ending? Kind of gross. Your female characters are empty and have no agency. Not your best work.

You gave Jean, the cheating slut, a happy ending? Why?? She didn't deserve one. No cheating slut ever does. 2*

Very good series LT! As far as the last 2 commenters, I pity their partners (if they somehow attract someone) Thanks for the tale!

somewhere east of Omaha