All Comments on 'Buxomville Ch. 01'

The word "as" appeared in this story 197 times. I suggest trying to vary the structure of your sentences so reading your story does not become so monotonous.

I loved your story and I especially love how it is different than so many including my own.

Don't leave us hanging man! Great start!

You don't have a single paragraph longer than two sentences. Makes the work seem simplistic, and I quickly lost interest.

This story is starting out great! I hope Andrew will happen upon Justine and Darius having sex, and be forced to watch.

Just so you know, bra sizes don't work that way. You describe Justine as slim, but a 37F bra would fit a completely different kind of girl. The number is the band size--the measurement of the woman's chest underneath the breasts. Thirty-seven inches isn't slim. The size you were trying to describe might be a 32F.

I'm one of those people who can get off on body descriptions, and I love busty, petite women (is that a size fetish?), but when I read a story with a size quote that suggests a BBW (not my cup of tea, but more power to you, BBWs!) or at least a very stout woman, I have a hard time getting it out of my mind, and it makes it hard to enjoy the rest of the story.

Loved the build up. Great start. Try looking up bra sizes and busty models. It will help you to describe the body you are going for. Other than that you're on the right track!

This is a great start! Most authors in the cuckold-theme go for married couples, it is rare to find a story that looks at the angst of unrequited love. I look forward to hearing more about Justine and Darius. I love how quickly Darius was able to form a relationship with her, as compared to her wimpy white friend's failure to get her attention. I wouldn't mind hearing less about Justine's parents though; it's more interesting to read about Justine and Darius.

I was afraid you'd have the guy be 24" long.

Absolutely fantastic!!

Good, Good!

You wrote “Kelly had a tall and petite build.” That’s like saying she was a fat and skinny woman. Here’s the definition of petite.

adjective

The definition of petite is being small in size.

A short, slim woman is an example of a woman who would be described as petite.