Calm Ch. 07

Money wasn't an issue, plus she had a scholarship and some government support. Still, if she needed something extra he'd be glad to chip in for her. That was a given. And really, if you thought about it, in the past two years she hadn't asked for that much from them had she? Nothing they didn't want to give her.

They'd helped Ellie through so much already, Ruth and him. Would it really be that different? She was a wonderful girl, and he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. Ruth had to agree with the whole idea as well though. She'd be adopting a girl seven years younger than her. The idea spun him for a loop. Was that even possible? He pulled out his phone and after a quick search he found the adoption laws. No adopting anyone less than fifteen years your junior. He put down his phone and sighed. So much for adoption.

Tom stopped walking and closed his eyes. The sun warmed his face as he let his mind wander. Was there nothing he could do? Something that had the same spirit as what Ellie wanted. Family didn't have to be written on paper.

His eyes flicked open at the thought of official papers. There was one piece of paperwork he could do with whatever he wanted. He smiled and turned back to the beach house. This would work out just fine. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Ellie's number. She picked up in a flash.

"Ellie, I'm heading into town for a bit. Don't worry about why. I promise you'll like the reason. Let it be a surprise, okay?"

'What? How long will you be out?'

"Not long, two hours max."

'Okay, just come back soon.'

"I will, Ellie. See you in a bit."

He ended the call and dialed Ruth's number as he made his way back to the house.

"Hi, Ruth."

'Hi, Sir. Did something happen?'

"Yeah, about that. Ever thought about being a mother?"

'What? Why? Maybe.'

Tom ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Not mother in that sense."

'Tom, what are you talking about?'

"Ellie asked me if we'd adopt her this morning. She's serious about it too. She wants another shot at a family and to her that's you and me."

'Oh, Ellie.'

"I'm thinking about saying yes."

'What? Tom, we can't just adopt her. She was just going to stay with us until she recovered. She's doing okay on her own now.'

"True. And that doesn't change. She doesn't want to move back in or anything like that. How did she say it? All she wants is to know that she can live with us if she needs to. Come by for dinner on Sundays and holidays. Do family stuff. What can you say to that? You should've seen her face this morning. She's terrified we'll say no, and she still asked."

'Tom.'

"Wait, Ruth. Don't just say no. We can't adopt her anyway. It's not possible legally. But if I could arrange something that means the same to her without the scary 'we have a child now', what would you say then?"

'I don't know Tom. What can I say? She's like a little sister to me. I worry about her being on her own. I mean, Matthew's a good kid, but I still worry. If she came back to our place over the weekends, I wouldn't send her away. Of course not. And I want her to be there for Christmas. Are you sure that's all she's asking?'

"All she wants is a family. Adoption was the best she could come up with."

The line was silent for a while as Ruth mulled things over. 'I need to talk to her about this.'

"I know, and you will. Go find her when I hang up. I have an errand to run. I had a thought, and I'm going to follow up on it."

'What thought, Tom?'

"I'm going to a jeweler's I think, maybe another shop, but a jeweler's fits what I want. When I get there, I'll pick out two identical things. Doesn't matter what, earrings maybe. I'll have the guy there engrave both of them. One will say 'for my daughter', and the other will say 'from my father'. I'll give her the one that says 'from my father'. The other one's going in my safety deposit box, and I'll change my will so it says Ellie gets that one when I die. It's not what she came up with, but I think it works."

Another long pause stretched across the line. 'I love you, Tom.'

Tom smiled and wished he had Ruth close enough to grab right now. "I love you to, Ruth. Every now and then you remind me why I proposed to you."

'Hey! I was having a moment here. Don't ruin it for me.'

"Say you're not smiling."

Another silence.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth."

Ruth laughed and said, 'How did you know?'

"Like I said, sometimes you remind me of why I proposed to you."

She laughed again. 'You're the worst, Tom.'

"Why thank you. So you like my idea?"

'Yes.'

"You can cook up your own matching pair of something. But don't feel like you have to, it's your choice to make. You can show Ellie you love her however you want."

'I will, Tom.'

"I won't be out much longer, just need to go to town."

'Okay, I'll see you soon then."

Tom cut the line and made the rest of the way to his car by the beach house. Ruth agreeing had lifted a huge weight off his shoulders.

***

Tom came back from his wandering around town, and his pocket felt heavy. He carried two simple silver bands, one more slender than the other. They both had a matte and weathered look to them that elevated them from simple and elegant to something more, something different. He had a silver chain for Ellie to wear her ring on as well. It wouldn't do for her to be seen wearing what could only be described as a wedding band. That part of the symbolism made Tom a little uncomfortable, but it was a very strong sign that the rings in his pocket were paired.

Tom hoped Ellie would understand this was all he could do for her. Making it official was impossible, but making it undeniable wasn't. Ellie would become his daughter the moment she put his gift around her neck.

Ruth saw him come into the living room, and she got up from the couch without a word. She had a small plastic bag in her hand. Tom glanced down at it and then back at Ruth, and she nodded. He could tell she was ready by the set of her jaw. One last deep breath, and the time had come. Tom cleared his throat, and Matthew and Ellie looked up from the brochures they'd been looking at. "Matthew, could you give us a moment alone with Ellie? We need to talk to her in private."

Matthew felt Ellie tense up next to him, and he gave her a worried look that made Tom smile. He was a good kid. "Don't worry, Matt. It's not bad news."

Ellie gasped at those words and tears filled her eyes. She put her hand over his and said, "It's okay, honey. I'll tell you tonight. This is just something between them and me. It's really important to me."

"Okay then. I'll be in the next room, alright? Just shout, and I'll be there."

Ellie gave him a watery smile, and he left the room without another word of protest. Tom watched him leave and said, "I like the choice you made, Ellie. Has he been good to you?"

The faint blush on Ellie's cheeks spoke volumes, and Tom didn't press on. If something had gone wrong, she'd have found him and Ruth soon enough. That's why they were here. Tom gestured for Ellie to come to him and said, "No need to answer, that's not what I want to talk you about. Come sit here with us. I have some bad news and some good news to tell you."

Ellie sat down next to Tom. "Bad news?"

"I'm sorry, but it's impossible for Ruth and me to adopt you. Legally that is."

Ellie's eyes widened in shock. "But... you said it wasn't bad news. I thought..."

Tom put his hand on Ellie's head and pulled her against him. "Shhh, Ellie. You need to be at least fifteen years older than someone if you want to adopt them. Ruth's only seven years older than you, and I'm only three years older than her."

"So we can't be family?"

Tom pressed a kiss on Ellie's platinum hair and said, "We can't adopt you, but we can still be a family. I've found a way for you to become my daughter for as long as I live."

He gently pushed Ellie away and took the small jewelry box from his pocket. Ellie frowned in confusion when she saw the two rings, one of them hung on a chain. Tom hooked the chain with his finger and pulled the ring from the box. It dangled in front of Ellie's face, and he took the ring between two fingers and held it so Ellie could read the inscription inscribed into the metal. "From my father. Why? What does this mean, Tom?"

"Pick up the other one and read what's written there."

"For my daughter. I don't understand, Tom."

Tom took his ring back from her and put the one meant for her in her hand and folded her fingers over it. "I'm keeping one of these. When we get back home, I'll put it in my safety deposit box. I'll also go to the notary. I have a will in case something happens to me. I'll be adding a line there. A line that says you get the ring that says 'for my daughter'. It will be there until I die. It'll be proof you're my daughter."

He sighed. "I know it's maybe far fetched, but your and my ring are a pair that won't be reunited until I die. Until that day comes, I'll treat you as my daughter. And when the day has passed, you'll have proof I thought of you as my daughter for all those years. It's the best I can do, Ellie."

Ellie's hand balled up around the ring and chain as she stared down at it. Was this enough? If she lost this trinket, would the pair be broken and their family bond as well? She felt Tom's eyes on her. No. In two years he'd never mistreated her. He'd tolerated her unpredictable struggle. Him and Ruth.

She looked up at Ruth. Tom had made a gesture, but what about Ruth? Did she want this as well? A gentle smile graced Ruth's beautiful face, and a wave of relief rushed through Ellie. Ruth got up and sat down on Ellie's other side. With not a word said, she put a torn book on Ellie's lap.

Watership Down. Ruth put her hand on the cover and said, "This is the first half of the book. Read it, it's a wonderful story. My favorite book growing up. The second half of the book is mine. I need you to promise me you'll read the second half of this story only when you get the second half of this exact book in your hands. And just like with Tom, that'll only be after I die."

Ruth opened Ellie's half of the book and written on the first page in elegant handwriting was, 'For Ellie, my cute little sister, now and until the day I come to pass.'

Ellie's finger brushed along the word sister, and in a soft voice, Ruth said "I'm a little young to be your mother, don't you think? You're more like a little sister to me. I already felt that way after you were with us for a few weeks. And look at you now. My little Ellie has a lover now. She's living on her own, and she's doing great with her studies."

Ruth wrapped her arm around the younger girl. "Tom told me about you asking to be adopted. He told me you said you didn't want much from us, just dinner on Sundays and holidays. A home to go back to."

Ruth kissed Ellie on the temple. "I'm not sure, but maybe you thought that after you graduated, all of that would go away. I'm telling you right now that will never happen. You're family. You've been family for over two years now. If you need some kind of symbol to feel sure about that, then I'm happy to give you one. More than happy. Tom went a little more overboard than I did, but you know him. When he gets an idea in his head, he runs with it. So, Ellie, is it enough for you?"

Ellie looked from Ruth to Tom and back. The book and the ring lay forgotten in her lap. Any shock she'd felt at hearing they couldn't adopt her had vanished, and a different kind of shock had settled in. They wanted her to stay. They were trying their hardest to tell her that. If they could've made it legal, they would've. Ellie believed they'd do anything for her, even after they'd done so much for her over the last years.

The tears she'd been holding back rolled down her cheeks as a first sob welled up. Seconds later, two sets of arms were wrapped around her, sheltering her. Since that first time she'd fled to their room after having a nightmare, Ellie'd never felt as comfortable as when they both hugged her at the same time. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

The same words kept rolling off Ellie's tongue even as she bawled like a little child. She'd treasure the gifts they'd given her. Ruth's book would be in her nightstand always, and she'd never take off Tom's necklace. If she ever needed to feel she wasn't orphaned by her past, she'd never have to go far to remind herself she had a family now. People who'd give her what her father never had. People who loved her without asking anything in return. People who'd helped her through the worst, who knew everything and still loved her.

Ellie cried for a long time. So long that Matthew came into the room, worried about his girlfriend. When he saw the three of them together, he made to leave the room again, but Tom stopped him. "Take her with you, Matthew. Give her time to process what we've told her. You're the one who's taking the most care of her now. This is a very important moment for her, and I think you should share it with her. Ruth and I are going to go for a walk along the beach. We'll be back later."

Matthew nodded, still not understanding what was going on, but he carried Ellie to their bedroom nonetheless.

Ruth got up and wiped a tear from her eye. "I had no idea this meant so much to her."

Tom held his hand out to her. "Me neither, but I'm glad she asked. It feels right to me. You?"

"The same."

"Come, let's go for that walk. I'm still processing I've got a kid now, and some fresh air would do me wonders."

Ruth chuckled and said, "It's not that bad. How am I supposed to explain to my parents I'm no longer an only child?"

Tom shrugged and said, "I don't know. Just wing it, I guess?"

Ruth gave him a shove and shook her head. "Don't start it with the dad jokes, Tom. Keep that for when we have a baby."

His eyebrow rose up. "You want to have a baby?"

"Yes."

He took her hand in his. "More reason to have that walk then. Come, little girl."

***

Ellie lay with a thick fleece blanket pulled up all the way to the tip of her nose. Matt's thigh was her cushion. They sat outside, warmed by a cozy fire. With her eyes closed, Ellie could hear the snaps and pops of the wet twigs she'd gathered. Tom had smiled at her when she showed up with her haul before pointing out the solid blocks of wood he'd found. It had been a small thing, but she wouldn't forget that smile. It wasn't the one he showed Ruth or anyone else for that matter. It was her smile. Her little reward if she did something right. Or something amusing.

She took the little bamboo shaped whistle he'd bought for her and let the ridges slip through her fingers, one by one. It put her at ease, like he'd always keep her safe.

Why? How had she been so lucky to find so many people who cared about her? After all that happened and after all she'd told him, Tom was still here. He was sitting right on the other side of the fire, holding Ruth. He'd scolded her. He'd worried about her. He'd checked up on her. He'd brought wonderful Ruth into her life.

And there were others. Amazing people. She knew they had their own ideas about her, but none of them ever said a wrong word. They'd treated her like what she was, a girl. And they'd supported her as she struggled to trust Matt. She knew Tom had talked to her lover many times, and Matt had no trouble asking Tom and Ruth for advice now.

Right now, she spent time on hobbies and studying because she wanted to. She could choose not to do something. If she tried something, then people cared if she did well or not. Her father hadn't cared, neither had he given her a choice. She didn't see him when he didn't need her. Either he wanted her for sex or he wanted to be soothed by the idea she was doing what her mother had always done. He hadn't cared. Ellie clenched her fist around her whistle. No more.

How long had she been thinking? She didn't know. It didn't matter. Matt would let her have her silence for as long as she wanted to. Until she fell asleep, then he'd pick her up and tuck her in so she'd have a good rest.

She'd never forget the nights they spent in this blessed beach house. Another place that held fond memories for her. Matt was another man who'd proven himself to be kind and good to her. Tom and Ruth. The apartment. Family and a home. That's what she wanted. The only thing she'd ever wanted.

Her eyes flicked open, and she saw Tom staring into the flames, lost in thought. Ruth was sleeping against his chest, tucked away under a blanket. He had a blade of dry grass in the corner of his mouth. Ellie smiled and pointed at it. His brown eyes searched for hers and one eyebrow rose in question.

"It looked silly."

"So?"

"And I'm a little tired."

"You want to go to bed?"

Ellie nodded and got up. She turned around and asked Matthew, "You want to go sleep too?"

"Sure."

Before the two of them headed for the back door, Ellie turned back and said, "Tom, will you tuck me in tonight?"

He smiled the smile he kept for her and said, "If you want me to, then of course I will. I'll put Ruth in bed first though."

Matthew frowned and looked from one to the other, but he didn't say anything. He'd learned long ago that the relationship between his girlfriend and Tom and Ruth was special. And now they'd made it official.

***

Ellie's breaths were even and calm as she waited for her father to be led into the meeting area. No fear. Anger still, but she had it under control. Her face wasn't marred by a frown or a sneer. She was a vision of calm. Her eyes didn't see the tables and chairs surrounding her. She ignored the awkward reunions happening around her. Her thoughts were with the brother she'd lost. From time to time a memory of her father would intrude, and she'd let it play its course. The pain that had lodged itself in her heart still reared its head, but it didn't snap and snarl like it used to.

That was how her father faced his daughter for the first time in over two years. Her hands folded together, and her unevenly colored eyes searching for his. He didn't know what to say and couldn't meet her gaze. They sat in silence for some time. He twitched while she did nothing. Was this really his daughter? "Hi... Hi, Elizabeth. I didn't think you'd come to visit."

"Not Elizabeth, father. I go by Ellie now. And this isn't really a visit. I won't come back after this." Ellie bent down to reach in her purse and slid a letter towards her father. "Take a look inside."

He fumbled with the envelope. None of this felt right. Inside the envelope there was nothing he wanted to see. A letter confirming her full emancipation. A letter confirming her full scholarship to go to university and study... "Computer sciences? I thought you were going to do what your mother did."

Ellie shook her head and said, "No. That's what you told me to do. It was never what I wanted. Still, I couldn't have made this choice if it wasn't for you. I'm not the smartest, and I know it. You never let me do anything, and I had to do something with all that time, so I studied. It's all I knew, father. And it's what I've kept doing. My studies are paid for. I live on my own as an independent young woman who lost her old family. An orphan. I have a lover now. A new family that cares about me. I don't need you anymore."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "If there's any part of you that feels sorry for what you did to me and Jeff, then there's one thing I want you to do. It's the only thing you can do for me. Find help so when you get out of here you don't destroy anybody else like you destroyed your family. Mom, Jeff, me. Forgot you ever knew us and start over. Never try to find me. Just get better and try to make up for what you've done."