All Comments on 'Can't Hold Back Any Longer'

The 'her' and 'me' made it very awkward to read. A rewrite could be in order. I think the story would flow better..

It seems to me that the story didn't have a conclusion, so if you do decide to do a rewrite, have them live happily ever after ( or something), just don't stop.

Good story. Proper grammar and a real conclusion will make a great rewrite.

Loose the HER: and ME: Use quotes. it was a great story until the dialog and then you lost me. the reading got choppy and rough. like the rapids.

As with everything, it could be expanded into a series of stories showing their gradual progression of relationships: with themselves and with others individually. I look forward to the developement of difficulties and great times. Thank you.

And then she pushed a Mack truck into her hymen to bust it. Then fifteen elves ate her out.

Your story has good intentions, and could be improved with names and dialogue. I would also give a few more details -- she mentioned that she had to use the dildo every time she saw him shirtless in the house. Have her strip his shirt here, and then tell us what she sees on that chest. If he's 21, is there a dusting of chest hair there? Is he muscular and developed? Sexy stubble? Does he have a treasure trail and lush pubes? He can be made to be very sexy and attractive to her.

Waiting for another chapter!

Sorry cobber but you have no fucking idea what day of the week it is! Dont ever try writing another!

Pretty lame. I didn't even get a chubby. Thank God it was only one page.

loved it!

Seriously, with the dialogue and crap actions. Get A Life

With a pen name of SisterWife I think that you should write more from the woman's point of view. There are lots of stories told from the man point of view so yours would be different that way.

I liked your story, and can say the bad comments you've received are trash not worth reading. However, the "Her" / "Me" usage was very disconcerting. Just go with the dialog like you did in the rest of the story, relating what's happening and who is doing what, but leave out the "Her" / "Me" phrasing.

It seems you let the naysayers get the best of you. You should have kept writing. There were some good comments trying to help you. Don't ever let the assholes of the world get the best of you. Granted your first efforts were a little jerky and didn't follow the norm in writing a story, but use the helpful comments to improve your storytelling abilities. Your story wasn't all that bad. It was a little difficult to read, but so what. Everyone has to start somewhere. When a horse throws you, if you want to ride you have to get back on and just do it. Good luck.

The old fart

Yes, so good and this story has so much potential. A horny sister who's had the hots for her brother and a brother who likewise wants his sister. Hopefully, she won't get pregnant but when they get home wants to bang him senseless. He can teach her to suck cock etc. and she can teach him to eat her well etc.

Cannot wait for more and thank you !!

Nice story 👍

I'm just curious if this is a true story

It is a really good story. I think the me and her usage was a little annoying. But overall, it read well and felt good..