All Comments on 'Carlyle'

Where does the loving wife part come in?

The character of Mattie was a bit confusing.

But then again a lot of women confuse

us simple men, lol.

Superb writing and strong story.

Not much of a western fan,

but this pretty ditty took me way back

to Roy and Dale and other heroes

from my childhood.

Well done!

Top ratings from me.

LW is the target audience for this writer, and hence, where his fan base goes to find his submissions - at least that is the case for me, so I for one appreciate that small bit of consistency/inconsistency. Every once in a while I miss a story from one of my favorite writers if I’m not paying attention when they shift to another category. BTW, Just starting to read “Carlyle”, so I’ll comment later - if I don’t fall into a Thanksgiving food coma first!

Appreciate all of the good stories today, this one included. Well done! As far as the category, Hez's wife was the LW.

hes riding a shetland and he has friends, TK U MLJ LV NV

"Anyone trying to help the sheriff would've got their head blown off?" What if a whole group gathered together?

Minor point – The gun-slinger is described as having a notch out of his ONE ear, which seems to imply that he only has one ear. But, then we see this, "He saw the drifter with the notched ear one more time." It seems to me that describing him as having one ear would be likely, IF that is the case.

I thought her coming on to the brothers was going to be the "Loving Wives" part, until it turned into a trick to try to get him out of town.

High Noon, Open Range, hell, even Gunsmoke. Great homage to the classic truly American genre, with a sexy Literotica splash of sex for icing. Fun story. Must have been a kick to write. Clearly you’re a fan of the old west. Thanks for contributing to this event. I’ve been a longtime fan of your “conventional” more contemporary LW dramas. It’s fun to see an artist step outside of their wheelhouse (Chicago) and try something new. *****

The next year, the store caught fire. Mattie, using her previously displayed problem solving skills, shouted for every neighbor in earshot. When they came, she asked them to gangbang her, but pull out before they finished and cum on the flames. Hez was wasting time filling buckets with water, so she told him he was a loser and only these real men could satisfy her. To encourage him to stay far away from the dangerous flames, of course..

Just kidding. Thanks for a fun story.

Cog

Classic western and a fun read. Thanks for sharing your time and talent!

Thanks for your contribution and thanks too to BlackrandI. On to the next story.....

Thanks

You never disappoint, and this is a great job. I am very proud of you, coming in late, getting the story done and with such style and grace. You are a very superior writer, and this story shows that. Thanks again, Randi.

Agree with Randi 100% Well written story on short notice.

M1

Thank you all for the kind words.

Rarely do I delete messages but there are a few things that will trigger that action. I've mentioned them before so I won't go through the list but one such type of comment is that which is political in nature.

This is not a political forum so if you start throwing terms like "liberal" or "snowflake" or gun control panzies into your comment you can pretty much figure on it not standing too long.

Again, thank you, all for your comments and your scores.

Plenty of action.

Boyd Percy

Undoubtedly one of your best.

jtaylor

And about 20 more in other categories, I'd say the few people who bitched about this just have some serious jealousy issues going on. Just finished reading this one. It's the last one here, and it's a great story. Now off to read the rest of them. What a great idea, and these guys (and girls) are hellacious storytellers.

Laptop writer, JPB and all the rest have given us a real treat with BlackRandi’s latest event. Thanks every one! And Yeeeee Haaaawwww!

It's just a scrubby , little village where nothing really important will ever happen. What's the big deal ? Well that's what laptopwriter tried to show us . I liked it best when things were murky. When upright mayor was trying to entice mercenary lawmen to deal with likely lethal, local problem in his no - account burg for munificent sum of 75 dollars a month . The heavy hitters all but yawned in his face. Excellent !

The wife was a pacifist, but was no uptight quaker bride played by Grace Kelly from " High Noon " . She was ready to barter more then store merchandise to avoid scrubbing blood stains. Definite shaded of grey fodder . The bad guys, however, were unadulterated of both humor or nuance - my main complaint.

"They're making me run. I've never run from anybody before." - High Noon . I appreciate laptopwriter did not run from Blackrandl's " Wild West " challenge . How well did he aquit himself as an author?

To me , he did about as well as his fictional merchant protagonist who got bruised and battered when pedal hit the metal . But laptopwriter didn't run . He and Hezikiah did the best they could with tools and talents they had at hand . It would be unseemly and, churlush to rant on this story's shortcomings when the distance covered was farther then I've ever dared to go.

Bottom Line : admired the introduction where the stakes and steaks of Carlyle were too trifling to catch the interest of pulp fiction heros. Did things devolve from there ? Maybe by my idiosyncratic standards , but fellow commentators seemed to find solace in ceremony ritual where defenders of faith wobbled , wavered

but don't fall underground to Motley Cruel minions.

If those were the type of people were the demographic laptopwriter wanted to impress ? Mission accomplished.

....populated with low grass and tall weeds.

A couple of other stories stand out recently, bearing different, but fine fruit.

Thank you!

Thanks for a good story. A couple of good twists moved it along. Thanks for a good effort.

And another great read.

Thanks for uploading.

Seems to reflect the growing pains in the Wild West, Apparently all centers of population had to go through this ceremony.

Excellent story. The people were not made of heroic material. The wife did what she could and made it out okay. They really shouldn’t have been surprised by a large group of men hitting town, but I guess the Patriarch kept them quiet and organized. Shooting the son and dad cut the head off the snake-it’s not always about numbers. When the wife kissed the two boys back, I thought, “uh oh, we are becoming a cheating wive’s tale..” but that’s not where the story headed- I had some idea she might take them out after exhausting them.

Is the wife supposed to be mentally disabled? Her scheme of kissing the bad guys was too moronic to get past.

Writing about mentally disabled people is noble, but not entertaining.

A little like the movie High Noon, but just a little. Good story, well written. Thanks for posting, I knew you'd come up with a good one to read. Thanks again.

Special kudos for knowing Wyatt Earp actually carried a Smith & Wesson American, not a Colt .45 Buntline and that's what he used at the "Gunfight in the Alley off Fremont Street Next to Fly's Photography Near the Back of the OK Corral."

Good characters, interesting plot

There's always a but.

I love your stories, and they're always entertaining. This Western-themed one was no different.

However, the ending was lackluster and felt rushed. The vibe I got from it was a more sophisticated way of saying "and they lived happily ever after". No actual conclusion.

It's a shame, since this was a great story until the end.

.. from one of the best writers on this site. Thanks.

5 Stars

This story really is a departure from your usual writing. I liked this story. I also like most of your other stories.

I know you asked to provide some forgiveness on spelling due to the nature and time window for the story. However some spelling was still incorrect.

Even in stagecoach days, brakes were not spelled "breaks".

Also, even then it was beeline, not "B-line".

And a dead body was a corpse, not a corp.

It was a pretty good story, even had a happy ending. The spelling errors another commentor mentioned didn’t really bother me. What did bother me was the lack of reality. In the era of Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday, the people who emigrated to, and settled in the Arizona territory were not your meek, mild, mousy types. It took people of strength and fortitude to make a home in that desert. And I have to believe that in a town like “Carlyle”, just about every grown man would have a gun. A shotgun at least, and many with rifles and handguns too. So when the Sheriff in this story asked for help from the townspeople and no one stepped forward, it strained the credulity of the story a bit too far for me. Three Stars.

Great job. I had to check a fime or two to check I was still on Literotica. I thought I was reading a classic western by the best Western writer of them all.

detroitdave

In this story remind me of the people in the movie "High Noon". Just a bit of trivia about the movie, watch at the very end when Coop throws his badge down into the dirt. You can see just covered in the dust by his boot another badge from an earlier take. Just keep on writing LTW, us old codgers have to stick together. Signed: BTW

Very enjoyable western story to read. Bravo.

Really enjoyed this one, good ending.

No sympathy for Hezekial should have got shotgun right away

Not been caught without anything

Of course took away something from son

So?

Reading this great story again makes me think it's time for another Western event. This is one of the best of the genre I've seen in LW. Laptop can write anything he sets his mind to.

So unrealistic,not even funny. Read your history, things like this just didn't happen. Usually ltw has good stories, don't have a clue why ltw went of the rails with this one.

this story although fictionalized, is based on a true incident and a real-life sheriff.

Great story as are all of yours I hope you write more westerns it was very well done thankyou

Did Jim Roberts ever marry? Children?

Excellent story!

Western movies give a distorted view of Western town folk. The actuality would be more like our stereotype of a Southern town full of good ol' boys.

.

The barber keeps a shotgun in his shop. He's a combat vet of the Civil War, with more kills than any sheriff or outlaw. The wheelwright next door has been hunting game to feed his family since he was 8 years old. He's an expert marksman. Etc.

.

There was a reason that bank robbery was so rare in the Old West. Those gangs that gave it a go -- the James-Youngers, the Daltons, the McCartys -- wound up shot to pieces in the street not by the law, but by shopkeepers.

.

Anyway, liked the story.

You write a really good story. I really like the longer ones.

THANKS!

Felt realistic ! 5*

I gave this story 4 stars. I also agree with invisible_bridges. No one ever ran rough shod over a town in the old west. Almost all of the male citizens were veterans of the Civil War or the Indian Wars. And everyone back in those days knew how to properly use firearms. But I did enjoy the story and I hope you keep writing westerns.

Nicely done !

Nice story.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your6.

What happens the next time she wants to save her husband? Stupid, her genes need to be removed from the gene pool. Imagine what she would teach her kids. LM

Thanks for a well-written and very enjoyable read! As for the language, it quite fit the time frame and added authenticity to the piece. Keep up the good work!!

Nicely developed as a Western history lesson. The good guys always win. Thanks

You missed a paragraph about a public mass hanging of the animals from the lynching mob. Dropped to 3 stars because of that.

To the gentleman who used my story as a platform for his own political rant, I deleted your cogitations. They had nothing to do with my story, and as I have said on many occasions, I do NOT allow politics in my comments.

Legendary. A classic hollywood story of the old west that still resonates in picturesque Arizona. A quick draw pistolero defeated by a doubled barrel shotgun. A city girl that likes dominant men... (who knew?)