Carnal Knowledge Ch. 13-14

Eliza jerked and abruptly her second peak rose up in a forceful wave, crashing over her body in a flood of pleasurable vibrations between her legs. She clutched at his broad shoulders and slid her hands down his back, her nails digging in to the thick fabric of his coat.

William quickly muffled her choked cries with his mouth and thrust harder, faster, and deeper into her sheath, his penis somehow seeming grow even more swollen inside of her.

Both of his hands slid into her hair and tightened as though holding her in place, staring down at her with a single-minded intensity as he found his own release, his cock pulsing as it pumped inside her.

"My darling, my sweet darling," he breathed against her mouth, his lips dragging over her cheek and nibbling down her throat.

Eliza trembled, still pinned and spread wide beneath his heavy weight. William seemed in no hurry to move, pressing lazy kisses to her shoulder and collar bone.

If only she really were his darling instead of his whore, she thought wretchedly, squeezing her eyes closed.

The unwelcome word blazed in her mind like a beacon.Whore. You're nothing but his filthy whore, a voice taunted. Remember how Lord Atherton looked at you in the garden, don't you? He saw you as nothing but a common strumpet.

And truly, it wasn't far from the truth, was it? Rockdale took her whenever and however he pleased, and she loved it, craved it, even. He commanded and she obeyed, kneeling down, or on her back spreading her legs to receive his cock. And wanton that she was, she practically purred in ecstasy each and every time.

She turned her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Now that her passion had abated, she could hear the faint voices of the Crawleys in the kitchen. Instantly, she felt enveloped in shame.

It was one thing to allow him take her in the privacy of his bedroom, but this...this was...

Rockdale groaned gustily against her skin. "I'll never look at this sofa the same way."

Eliza shoved hard at his chest. "Let me up."

He didn't obey at once, continuing his slow trail of kisses to the curve of her breast and nuzzling.

"Let. Me. Up," she ordered.

Rockdale finally looked up, his satisfied smile fading as he looked upon her face. He frowned.

"What is it, dove?" He shifted his weight off her and stood, tucking himself back into his trousers and buttoning up.

"Don't call me that," she said, glaring at him. How dare he look like he had not even a hair out of place, whilst she was a wrinkled, half-undressed mess. She pushed a damp curl off her cheek and tugged her bodice up, trying to shove her breasts down into place.

"Darling?" he asked, his brow furrowed as he reached out toward her sagging bodice. "Shall I..."

"No." She stood up as well, shaking her skirts out and smoothing down the wrinkles. "I am most definitely not your darling."

"Yes, you are." Rockdale eyed her like she had taken leave of her senses. "What—" He stopped and shook his head as though clearing it. "Did I hurt you?" He moved closer and tried to take her hands. "Was I too rough?"

She dodged him and turned away, closing her bodice up tightly.

"No," she finally answered. "It is this place." She gestured around forcefully.

"Ahh, well, if you'd have insisted, we could have gone upstairs to fuc—"

"No!" she hissed, cutting him off. "It's this house! You keeping me here!"

His expression immediately cooled. "I didn't realize you were so miserable spending time here with me. I actually thought we were enjoying one another's company."

Her cheeks heated and some of her ire eased. "I did enjoy—oh, William." She sat back down on the couch with a sigh, covered her face and attempted to marshal her thoughts into some sort of rational order.

Eliza raised her head at last to look at him. His face was inscrutable.

"I keep hearing Lord Atherton call me your whore," she whispered. "The way that he looked at me..."

Rockdale made an impatient noise. "He's a arse. It doesn't matter what he says."

She smiled sadly. "But, don't you see, William. It's true."

"Bloody hell. You are not a whore."

Eliza couldn't meet his eyes. "We had an agreement," she started and faltered. Be strong, she told herself. You cannot allow this madness to continue any longer.

She lifted her chin in resolve. "It was not an honorable agreement, and I will never forget your treatment of me and the complete disregard you had for my feelings."

He scowled and opened his mouth, and she raised a quelling hand.

"Nevertheless," she said. "I expect you to honor our bargain with honor. I have decided that this time spent here in London should complete my..." She cleared her throat. "tutelage."

"You've decided, have you?" Rockdale's eyes narrowed. "I ended our bargain, if you will recall," he said coldly. "You refused to leave and begged me to reconsider."

Eliza flushed all over, remembering how she had abandoned her dignity and pleaded for the sake of her family. "You gave me no choice!"

"There are always choices, Eliza. Perhaps you made the one you really wanted, if you're brave enough to be honest with yourself."

She bristled with indignation. "Don't attempt to justify what you did to me!"

His silky laughter sent a shiver down her spine almost as though he had trailed a finger there. "You're lying to yourself if you're trying to tell me you don't revel in each and every climax you find in my embrace."

He took a step forward. "I could make you come again now, in mere minutes," he murmured, his half-smile hardening around the edges.

"Yes, you could," she answered. "But that's not what I want. What I want is for you to give me the deed to my family's cottage as you promised. And to release me."

Her words hung between them for several moments. She waited stiffly for his reply, unsure whether he would react as the icy Earl of Rockdale or erupt into anger.

This was the only option, Eliza vowed. She could no longer pretend to be in control of herself when she was with him, and she couldn't keep blaming William for leading her astray.

To her surprise, he turned away and stepped over to the window, staring out silently until her nerves threatened to overtake her. She longed to leap up and shake him until he showed some kind of real reaction.

When he finally broke out of his reverie and approached her slowly, his voice was low and thoughtful. "Despite some of my actions, it has never been my intention to truly hurt you or abuse you in any lasting way. In the beginning..." he paused, met her gaze before looking away. "I suppose I didn't really see you as anything more than a beautiful object I could possess and enjoy. I'm used to manipulating my world to suit my needs, and generally, no one tells me I cannot."

She lifted an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

"I want you to know I've come to see that you are more than just a vessel for me to mold and teach." William studied her for a moment. "Eliza, somehow you draw me away from the darkness that is always around me, pulling me under, smothering me."

A frown furrowed her brow. "I don't understand."

He shoved a hand through his hair. "When I'm with you I feel as though I am more than merely a spectator watching my life pass by. Something I haven't felt for a long time."

William eased down to sit beside her. "And I want to make you happy, not sad," he said gently. "I wish to protect you and keep you safe from harm." He took her hands within his larger ones. "And I certainly do not desire to darken your spirit or hurt you." His thumbs rubbed circles on her palms. "What I do want more than anything is for us to stop the pretense of this silly bargain. I want you to become my mistress."

She stiffened and pulled back.

"Don't say no," he said quickly, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Let me make you happy, Eliza. I can, if you only will allow me."

Tears prickled in her eyes. "I don't—"

Ever so slowly, he slid an arm around her shoulders and drew her close to him. His hand slid in gentle circles over her back. "Sweetheart," he murmured. "Won't you please stay with me?"

She angled her head away, struggling to take a deep breath. It was nigh on impossible to think clearly with his hand lightly caressing her back, his scent filling her nose, and his body so close.

"What of my family? Where would I live?" she asked, despising the fine tremor in her voice.

"I will be permanently responsible for your family's well being and their financial needs," he assured her. "I'll see your sister is outfitted with a new wardrobe and find her a suitable husband when the time comes, if you wish. Neither of them, nor you, will want for a single thing ever again."

"Goodness," she said faintly.

"You could live here with the Crawleys. I think you might enjoy that. If not, I will buy you a grander home, anything you desire, wherever you would like. Of course, I would need to spend some time with the children, but often we would be together. I could show you about town, the theater, museums, or whatever you wanted. We could travel to the Continent. See Paris, Rome, Venice, all of it...any of it."

"I—I don't know..." The bloody man was like a drug, weakening her resolve and her intentions.

Rockdale brushed his lips over her jaw and rubbed his nose gently against hers. "Just say yes," he coaxed. "We could have a grand adventure, just the two of us."

"William, do you care for me?" The question seemed to rise up from within her and burst from her lips.

He leaned back and didn't answer immediately. A painful coldness bloomed and settled in her chest. Apparently, his response had mattered more than she realized it would.

She moved to stand, but he held firm. William gripped her chin with one hand and regarded her with an odd, troubled expression.

"All I know is that I cannot bear the thought of letting you go," he said in a low rasp.

"That sounds much more like possession than actual emotion," she snapped. "I'm getting more than a bit tired of being swept along in the tide of whatever Lord Rockdale wants."

A muscle spasmed in his jaw. "I'm wondering if you were fucked so thoroughly just now that it knocked the good sense clear out of your head. Perhaps we should discuss this later when you are in a more rational state of mind."

"If I were...you arse! Do not patronize me," she growled and stabbed a finger into her chest. "I am a person, too, in case you hadn't noticed. I have wants and wishes of my own. And they do not include becoming the mistress of a man who desires to keep me tucked away in some little house so he can come and rut with his own personal little whore anytime he wishes!"

"I've offered you carte blanche as my mistress. This is not an insignificant proposition, Eliza. You are an intelligent woman. Can you really mean you'd prefer to return to your little cottage in the country and toil away your days as some unappreciated schoolteacher?" His lip curled with a slight sneer.

"We had an agreement," she repeated quietly. "Are you going to hold to your word and honor it?

Rockdale stared back at her a moment without speaking, his expression full of something she didn't understand.

"Your first mistake was assuming I am a gentleman," he said brusquely.

"Fine," she said, the fight abruptly seeping out of her. "Give me the deed or do not, but I am going home nonetheless. It is as you said earlier. There are always choices. I just have to be brave enough to make the right ones."

Something very much like hurt passed over his face before his expression tightened into the aloof mask she had grown to despise.

"As you wish." His clipped tone was full of mockery, and he bowed slightly. "I'll be taking my leave then, so as not to bother you with my company any longer."

"William..."

"Feel free to stay another day or two before you depart. The Crawleys will, of course, continue to remain at your disposal. I'll instruct them to give you enough coin to hire a coach to carry you to your destination." He waved a hand. "I'll see that the deed to your cottage is transferred to you for services rendered."

She winced, feeling almost as though he had physically slapped her.

Rockdale frowned thoughtfully. "However, dear, don't stay here too long. I have a feeling I'll be having another...guest to stay soon."

He winked, underscoring his meaning, and she took a step backward, his barb sliding neatly through her breast bone and lodging in her heart.

She stared up at him, lips going numb and trembling. A thousand retorts sprang to her lips, but in the end, she only nodded. "I understand."

His lips whitened and suddenly his hand whipped out to grasp her elbow hard. "Eliza..."

A door slammed somewhere in the house, and she wondered with bemusement if Lord Atherton had returned with his pistol to finish the deed. However, it was Mr. Crawley's heavier tread that approached the parlor quickly.

"Pray excuse the intrusion, my lord, but 'tis important."

"Yes, yes, come in," Rockdale said, frowning and keeping his tight hold on her arm.

Mr. Crawley's face was pale. "There's an urgent messenger come from Verity Hall, my lord. The poor man rode straight in as fast as he could. He says to tell ye to come home at once. Your son Nicholas has gone missing."