by rex_gladiorum
I was about to get off and then I read your story. Thanks for the sexual frustration jack ass!
In the sentence "My sphincter feels as though I have shoved amber after amber from a campfire up there simply to cool them off. I need to cool this amber." you referred to amber. The correct word is ember. Amber is petrified tree sap. Ember is a small piece of burning or glowing coal or wood in a fire.