Catch and Don't Release

Jacob screamed internally with relief. "Thanks, Finn. I know it would make my dad really happy."

"Anything for my favorite employee, even after all this time."

Finn opened the doors to what looked like a barn to Jacob. But inside there were about thirty men working, inspecting apples, packing boxes, and managing the machinery. He spotted Brian at the machines with a clipboard and they walked over to him.

"Jacob!" Brian called out over the noise. He quickly came over.

Jacob shook his hand. "I just came to tell you that the house will be ready this week. I didn't have your number so I figured I would come by and let you know right away."

"That's brilliant news. Angelica will be thrilled. When can we see it?"

"How's Friday?"

"Sounds wonderful. After work, around 5 o'clock?"

"That's a great time. Thanks." They shook their hands again.

Finn walked Jacob back to his car. Jacob went to the back seat and took out the second Tupperware bowl. He turned to Finn. "Do you mind if I do this alone?"

"Of course, lad. He was your father after all." Finn pointed. "Follow the smaller trees down that path until you get to the larger ones. When they stop, you know you reached the property line." Finn gave Jacob's shoulder one squeeze, then went up the porch steps.

Jacob followed Finn's instructions and stopped at a line of larger trees. He paused at a unique looking tree, whose bark split in the middle as if it was waiting for someone to sit there. The bark rose higher, strong and thick. Jacob opened up the bowl and sprinkled his father's ashes around the whole tree, and left the rest right in the center where the tree split.

He stepped back and sighed. "Almost done, Dad."

Jacob decided to cross the invisible boundary on the Jennings property line. He walked for a long time before heading back home.

~~~

Night was falling when he drove up. He saw the Bronco in his driveway and smiled to himself. Alex was waiting on the porch steps.

"Hey, sweetheart," Alex said first as he stubbed out his cigarette and stood up.

"Hi yourself," Jacob replied.

He walked up and kissed Alex, then wrapped his arms around him. Alex held him, rubbing his back. Jacob sighed in his arms without meaning to. It felt too intimate for a summer fling.

"Long day?" Alex asked in Jacob's hair.

"Long day," Jacob replied. Jacob pulled back and looked at him. "I know I wanted you to come over but I'm not going to be much company tonight. I'm emotionally exhausted. Don't feel like fucking or fishing."

Alex shook his head. "That's fine. I know how to be a gentleman, Jarten. What do you need?"

"Just sit with me in the sunroom? It was grandma Rose's favorite place."

Alex smiled as he remembered her. "Mrs. Rose was no joke. She was quick to get a switch if we trampled through her garden or terrorized the cat. I probably still got scars from her."

They walked into the house together. He opened up the sunroom door for Jacob to walk through. Alex plopped in the swing for two and asked, "Did you tell Gunther that I'm shagging his little brother?"

Jacob laughed out loud. "I did not. He knows I'm queer, but we don't talk about things like that. I'm actually a pretty private person." Jacob sat next to him and put his head on Alex's shoulder.

They swung in silence for a little while, listening to the sounds of the night, watching the sky get darker and darker. As expected, Alex lit up another cigarette. He took a puff, and blew it out of his nose.

Jacob slid his hand over to Alex's and placed it on top. "You should try to quit, Allie."

Instead of responding, Alex turned his hand around and held Jacob's. Even though Alex ignored him and continued to smoke, Jacob sighed in contentment at the intimacy that Alex was comfortable showing him back.

His thoughts wandered over to his father. He had learned so much in the last two weeks about Mikel Jarten, the man. And not all of it was good. But it also made his father real to him. Mikel Jarten was a man who loved fishing, friendships and women. He was hardworking and generous. And he made mistakes.

Jacob allowed the tears to fall as he talked. "I really miss my dad, Allie. Sure, he was a shitty husband and a womanizer. But he was a great dad. A really great dad. He never missed an important event. Never missed a birthday or holiday, not even Gunther's, all this time.

"Even after he moved to Bridgeport, he was still always there when we needed him. Never missed a Monday morning phone call before we went to school. Never missed a summer; he was there on the last day of school to pick us up and didn't bring us back to Jersey until a week before the school year began."

Jacob wiped his eyes. "I can't say if Mikel Jarten was a good man. But I know he was a damn good father. And I miss my father."

Alex stubbed out his cigarette and kissed Jacob on the head. "Well I can tell you he was a good man. He didn't do right by everybody. But he did well enough. He was human and he tried his best. And that's the best we can ever hope for when it's our time."

"Thanks Allie," Jacob said softly. They continued to hold hands. Eventually Jacob yawned and said, "You don't have to stay. I'm going to go upstairs and fall asleep soon."

"Mind if I do? Stay here tonight? It's a Rockville Holiday, Founders Day, and Pop is only opening the shop until noon and told me I didn't need to be there. So I don't have to run off right away. Or run off at all."

Jacob smiled without looking at him. "Sure." Jacob rose up and, still holding onto Alex's hand, he led him upstairs to the bedroom.

He turned to Alex first and took his time unbuttoning his shirt, slid it off his strong shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Alex grabbed Jacob's shirt from the bottom and lifted it over his head. Jacob reached over and began to take off Alex's jeans but left them unzipped, still hanging off Alex's hips.

Alex unbuckled Jacob's belt, popped the button and zipped down his jeans. But he pulled them all the way down Jacob's legs. He slid Jacob's shoes off and Jacob lifted up a leg, then the other one, letting Alex take off his pants.

Alex moved to the bed and pulled back the covers. Jacob got in and Alex tucked him in. Then Alex moved to the other side of the bed and kicked off his jeans before laying next to him. Jacob immediately moved closer to Alex and settled his head in the space between his chest and shoulder. Alex kissed Jacob's head again.

But suddenly Jacob sat up. "Pass me the book The Covenant? And the red pen next to it."

Alex turned to the nightstand closest to him and picked up both items to hand it to Jacob. Jacob opened up the paper and put a star next to Baisley's Apple Farm. Alex watched him curiously.

Jacob answered the question in his eyes. "It's the list my father left for me to do. His last wishes."

He handed it to Alex. Jacob had not shown another person the list, not even his siblings. It was sacred to him. But somehow it felt okay letting Alex look at it.

Alex read it with his eyebrows scrunched in as if in deep thought. "What?" Jacob asked.

"'Catch and don't release'?"

"Weird, right?" But Alex stared at the paper for a long time without talking. "What do you think he meant?" Jacob asked.

Alex continued to stare at it. Then Alex said, "You would know more than I would. He was your father, after all."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

Alex handed it back to Jacob and Jacob carefully folded it and put it in the book. He put the book on the nightstand and resettled himself against Alex. Jacob soon fell asleep holding onto Alex all night.

~~~

"Let's goooo, Allie," Jacob begged, kissing on his neck. "I haven't been to Rockville Founder's Day since I was a kid, but I do remember how much fun it is at the Park and Pond. The whole town is going to be there."

"And that's exactly why I don't want to be there," said Alex. "I'd rather stay right here in this bed with you, then take the boat on the water later on. Make our own fireworks."

"We can do all that and still go. Please? Just for the morning. Then we'll do all the things you want to do."

Alex groaned. "Fine. You win. Fishing first though." Jacob grinned, making Alex smile back. "Jesus, the things I do for you...."

About an hour later they were on the boat. Alex gave him praise and encouragement as Jacob prepared his pole. "You're getting better at this, fixing your own line, knowing the signs."

"When the bobber is bobbing, the fish are biting," Jacob repeated with a smile. Alex grinned with all his teeth, melting Jacob's insides. "Sorry about last night. I know you wanted to but.... It was a long day."

"Nothing to be sorry about. I told you, I know how to be a gentleman," Alex said with an eyebrow raised. He sat down and patted his pockets for his box of Camels, but Jacob came over to him.

He got on his knees and said, "And I know how to reward you for that." Jacob unbuckled Alex's jeans, pull out his cock.

Alex sighed when Jacob's warm, wet mouth wrapped around his still limp penis. Jacob took his time, licking every inch of him, taking him deep in his throat, shallow sucks, then deep again. Alex moved Jacob's hair out of his face so he could get a better view of Jacob sucking his dick in the bright morning sun.

Out of the corner of his eye Alex saw it. "Jacob... Your bob is bobbing."

Jacob pulled off and said, "It sure is." Then he plunged back down until he felt pubic hair tickling his lips.

"Uuuugh," Alex let out a loud moan. "You're gonna miss it."

Jacob came up again and looked Alex in the eye. "I'm catching it right now," he said as he tugged on Alex's genitals. "And I won't miss one drop."

Alex grabbed his neck and pushed their lips together. Jacob did not stop stroking as Alex kissed him roughly, his tongue attempting to lick the insides of his mouth. Alex's bobber also started to move. But Alex decided it was more important to let Jacob finish his bobbing.

He moved his face back and pushed Jacob's head down by his neck. Jacob obeyed his silent command.

Jacob continued to suck Alex until his thighs went rigid, his balls pulled up and Jacob's throat filled up with Alex's semen, hot, thick and white. Jacob swallowed his nectar and continued to lick his way back up and off Alex's cock. He sat down on the floor of the boat watching Alex come down from his euphoria, as both bobbers went under.

Eventually Alex looked at him with intensity in those blue eyes. Jacob smiled but shook his head. He stood up and said, "Not right now. I still have fish to catch."

Alex watched him swing his pole up. Jacob gently grasped the white perch, used the pliers to unhook it, and put the fish back into the water, watching it swim away. He watched Jacob set up his line and pole again before he turned around to Alex.

And Alex had never seen anything more beautiful.

~~~

It was better than Jacob remembered it. All of Rockville and some neighboring townsfolk were present. The older teens were in the parking lot, drinking beer and smoking pot, listening to loud and rude rock music playing from someone's car.

Alex went over to one of them and traded an entire pack of cigarettes for a couple of freshly rolled joints. He came back over to Jacob and said, "That's for later."

There was so much joy around, Jacob could not stop smiling. He walked around, saying hello to everyone and stopped to talk to a few people. There were family picnics everywhere, but food was shared between families and tables. Badminton, hot potato, and volleyball were played in various areas.

The pond was full. Every part of the sandy beach was littered with mothers and small children, and the water was packed with people of all ages, but especially the younger teens, swimming, diving off the docks and playing Marco-Polo.

Jacob remembered him as a young boy with his mother on the sand, wanting to go as far in the water as possible, to watch the older kids play. He learned how to swim there.

Jacob spent the longest time with the Baisley crew, which consisted of Finn, his wife Savannah, their two daughters and their children, and his nephew Sean, who seemed more interested in gambling and betting on the kayak race than anything else.

Brian and his family were with them, and Jacob met young Henry Frazier and his even younger fiancée Marie Littleton. They were set to marry at the end of August, Father O'Donnell's first time commencing a marriage in Rockville, which was always attended by the entire church community.

There was talk about how he'd do. But all the youngsters cared about was being together as they hugged and kissed often. Marie touched her belly a few times absentmindedly and Jacob suspected she was secretly with child.

Alex hung out with the McKinleys, where his father George was in an intense game of chess with Roy. After eating lunch with the Baisleys and the McColloughs, Jacob made his way over to sit quietly with the two old men, while Alex and Ian played a louder game of Black Jack at a nearby table.

When George won, Jacob walked around again and found an open bench that was slightly elevated and sat in it. It was far enough away from the docks where the younger teenagers were splashing in the water, but close enough to see all the activities on the water.

Jacob was paying so much attention to the kayak race that he didn't notice Father O'Donnell walk over and sit next to him. "Beautiful day for a holiday, isn't it?"

Jacob turned to him. "Yes Father, it is. Since the rain last weekend it's a nice breeze coming through. It's absolutely perfect."

"I see you've been enjoying your time in Rockville. I hope the Mass service hasn't been boring you too much," he joked.

Jacob smiled. "No, quite the opposite. St. Cecilia's is comforting. I haven't been comfortable in a church in a long time."

"I've been meaning to ask you. Is that why your father wanted you to go to four consecutive Mass services?"

Jacob shrugged. "Honestly my father wasn't even that religious. We went on the holidays, celebrated the saints, and at least once or twice a year we did confession, but that was about it. We were baptized and confirmed in a Catholic church but my mother is Methodist. When they divorced, church attendance became less important."

The priest nodded again. "I understand that. Maybe he wanted you to learn more about his own faith."

"I think he thought I'd given up on God. Which... I don't know. Maybe I have."

The monsignor let Jacob's words hang in the ear, then asked softly, "Why?"

Jacob turned to him. "Because when I was 17 I told a priest that I was gay and he told me I needed to repent from evil or I was going to hell. I never went back to Mass after that."

Jacob watched Father O'Donnell sigh in disappointment. "Yes. That is the standard line we clergymen need to say." He looked sad.

"But you don't agree, do you?" Jacob asked. "What do you believe, Father? Honestly?"

"I believe a couple of things," he said. "That God is Love. That God made us in His own image. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That God doesn't make mistakes. And that attraction isn't something that can be changed in a person."

"But I shouldn't act on my attraction, right?" Jacob said bitterly. "I should either live my life as a loveless eunuch or pick any old girl and make a wife and mother out of her, and live a miserable life. Right?"

"Now Jacob," the priest said. "The first thing I told you I believe is that God is Love. Do you think a loving God would want you to live a loveless life?"

"I don't know, Father. But that's what the Church wants."

"And the Church has changed their rules over the course of time. For example, priests were allowed to marry until the 12th century, and then they weren't. That wasn't from God, that was from Man, made to protect the Church and the priesthood."

"So keeping people like me out of the church is to protect who exactly?" Jacob asked hotly.

"No one, Jacob," O'Donnell said sadly. "It makes the Church seem small minded, rigid, unforgiving and unmerciful. The complete opposite of Christ."

"Then I can't reconcile with the Church," said Jacob definitively. "I've spent too much of my youth wishing I wasn't this way only for my greatest fears to be confirmed by God's representatives. I won't be pulled back there again."

"But can you reconcile with God, Jacob?" the priest asked. "Do you feel like God has somehow made a mistake by giving you this gift?"

Jacob was taken aback. "Gift?" He had never heard his attraction to men being described as a gift before.

The priest said, "Consider for a moment you were born without any obstacles to overcome; All physical, emotional or mental parts of you that brought you hardship, you could simply change if you wanted to. Would you have the insight to help others, especially the young people you teach, as they navigate discrimination and prejudice?

"Would you have these experiences to draw on, to empathize when others are going through something similar? Would you be the person you are today?"

"I know that being gay has shaped me into the person I am today, Father," said Jacob. "But that's not what the Church wants for me."

"And what do you want for you?"

Jacob stared at the young, idealistic priest. "I want love, commitment and partnership. I want to believe that God loves me just as He made me. That He wants those things for me too."

Father O'Donnell smiled at him. "Then it's a good thing we serve a God who is Love."

Jacob was curious. "You're... different. I get the sense...." Jacob hesitated then said, "I get the sense you have your own experiences to draw from. That maybe you too have a... gift?"

The priest smiled a friendly smile at him. "I've had many experiences before I became a priest at 28. And many gifts that give me insight."

"Experiences like mine?" Jacob pressed him, holding eye contact.

The priest continued to smile. "I've found love, commitment and partnership in God and the priesthood, and it is all I will ever need. All that matters now is that God has placed me here, in this moment, to help people like you find your way back to Him." He patted Jacob's shoulder and stood up.

"O'Donnell?" Jacob called out. The priest turned back to him. "Maybe I can come by one day and we'll talk about it some more?"

The priest grinned. "In or out of the confessional. Your choice."

"Thanks." Jacob watched the priest walk toward a group of teens and talk with them.

Alex came over and sat down in the previously occupied seat, so close to Jacob that their thighs were touching. "This is my bench, you know. My favorite spot."

"Well it's mine today," Jacob said distractedly.

Alex gave him a curious look. "That looked like a pretty intense conversation with the monsignor."

Jacob turned to him and said in a low voice, "I think your priest is gay."

Alex laughed out loud. "Do you now?"

"I'm serious. I... He..." Jacob tried to find the words. "I mean obviously he's not dating, he's a priest. But I think before he entered the priesthood he wasn't dating just women. If women at all. He'll never tell a soul. He didn't even confirm it with me."

"A closeted gay priest? Now that's going to be very interesting for Rockville. And there they are worried about how he's going to commence a marital ceremony," Alex said with a laugh.

He changed the subject. "Ready to get out of here?"

~~~

Alex and Jacob took the drive to Pawtuxet Cove Marina. Alex explained,

"Tammy's husband, Gary, has a seasonal slip and keeps an old Silverton 40 Convertible there. The Pearsons have other slips with bigger and better boats, so they let that one sit for a while until I started fixing it up and paying the dockage fees. It's pretty much mine. I grabbed the keys for the night, since it's my birthday tomorrow."