All Comments on 'Catching Colleen'

Excellent story. Greatly enjoyed it. 5*

liked the way she called him dad. I tried to step in to the father roll and was never good enough, Disney dads are way better then no you cant dads.

Great storytelling from start to finish. Loved it!

Just fantastic!

Absolutely the best story I have read here in a very long time. Five stars.

One of the best stories I've ever read at Literotica! 5+ *'s

Wow....I've read a lot of stories on Literotica...but this one is hand's down one of the finest out there. Your characters are real, your situations are real-life, and your writing is spot on. Please bring more I know you have it in you! This tale may be over, but another one is in there...

Love a good story that doesn't get screwed up by trying to force sex into it, just using it to complete a wonderful tale.

An excellent story. Held my attention alway through.

Very, very good — plot, characters, dialogue, humor ... everything.

Also, thank you for good spelling and punctuation. I know that some people think only fussy folks care, but wrong words and confusing sentences take readers' attention away from the story while they try to figure out what's wrong; it is much nicer to focus on the story than on the reading itself. Thanks for enabling me to stay with this fine story .

Wonderful story all the way around. Being a former high school basketball ref, I was very impressed by the rules detail you put in. Silly thing to notice, I know, but it is so easy to get that stuff wrong. Well done!!

but way too busy. It droned on with unneeded details, and kept going beyond the natural ending. I do not understand why the episode with Carol was necessary. And the final scene with Jeff served no purpose. If it had just been about the three main characters it would have been a true romance.

This is kind of a short story site and nothing you said really need more than 5 pages.

I was reading a lovely story which I could related to - I also became a father to a teen girl when I entered a relationship with her mother. Then intruded something so bizarre I felt sick to my stomach. What is it with Americans and their guns. The author clearly takes pride in his character's ability to shoot accurately. Only in America is this seen as a life skill. Only in America do people feel safer with a gun in the house, even when the stats show that a gun in the house is deadly for the inhabitants of the house. If this is what life is like in America, I want to get my Canadian stepdaughter, currently in the USA, back home where she can be safe.

Very nice story. Keep them coming. Thanks.

Rod

This is an awesome story. A mature well written romance. Try posting in Wattpad. There are some contests that you miqht get it published. It is a very evocative story. It has a great evolution of the main character. Thank you for sharing.

Loved it. Thank you

@Malraux

You have some awfully big shoes to fill with a name like yours,André Malraux was a great novellist and writer

This is a very nice story and i gave you 5 *****,keep writing,you are doing it well

The coaching and the accident exhausted me emotionally. It was a long but well orchestrated history.

just take a look at JOHN WOODEN. TK U MLJ LV NV

If there's anything worse than watching basketball it's reading a blow-by-blow account of a few little girls playing it.

Padding - not necessary in a decent storyline.

I know nothing about basketball and found the insider information fascinating. I always enjoy learning something new. It was a lovely way to show the way he grew as a man while his relationships deepened.

Excellent writing. I was captured from the start and really cared about your characters. I wish I had written it, but since I did not, I'm very glad that you did.

Damn, that was a great story! Wish I could give it more than a 5.

where the hero was a kids coach, basketball, football, baseball. I've enjoyed them all and learned some things.

This a great point to make, where an author has a responsibility to know or learn about what he is writing. Readers will take away what you write and if you're not accurate, their presumed knowledge will be false.

A lovely tale. If there were mistakes, I couldn't see them for the story.

A really good story and relatable characters. Thanks Malraux, and look forward to more of your writings.

Perhaps not as great as Jonas, but nevertheless well told and well edited.

Loved the story. And being from Cincinnati I had much fun trying to find out where this story happened.

Well written, very enjoyable . . . thanks!

Thank you for a wonderful story. I liked the way you fleshed out the story as to the players and their background as it made for a really good story and made it seem real. Then you had the hero who never gave up and the villain who got his just deserts and then you left the hero with his family and friends. This was the first of your stories I have read but, not the last !!!

Well written and well told. Thank you very much for it. I look forward to reading more of your stories. 5 Stars, without doubt.

Nice story. Even the grammar was correct. Thanks for sharing.

Near Dayton. Relatives all over. I would like to know about where the fictional Sky Grey is. Lots of actual landmarks in the story and some fictional. Very well written.

Great story, no doubt.

Sad end of Carol and her parents because of Skip, which shows that drugs are always a bad traveling companion.

Unfortunately, I do not know the US personally (although I have studied its geography when I was a child, and also after), and I do not know baseball, although I tried, it escapes my understanding, I'm sorry.

I loved the story and as it was written, as I mentioned earlier (in other stories) Malraux has become one of my favorite authors. I hope I can continue reading (and enjoying) your stories for a long time.

And of course, the women are in connivance. If you put Google on "How to win a fight with women", Google will give you the following suggestion:

"Perhaps you meant: This is impossible"

5* for you.

I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

Dude.

You pulled off what only two authors and three stories I have read have pulled off: You ended it right. No, you ended it perfectly. It wasn't drawn out, it wasn't rushed like most authors do... It was great!

Holy shit, man..

This was very well written. I know who's page I'm looking at more.

You'll be seeing more of me, and soon.

- The Four Eyed Vampire

This is my third read of Catching Colleen, and just so you know, I finally put Confessions of Nat Turner on my Kindle. My backup of books is a little deep, but I look forward to it. In the meantime, I sure love your stuff, and hope you have more coming. I'd gladly pay to download your stories if you ever make them available.

I'm not sure how I lasted through 14 pages of this rather ordinary tale. Colleen's history is unrealistic, at best and even though none of us reads Literotica for realism this author seemed to be trying for that goal. Kowalsh was a well developed character, but I thought his almost panic in getting rid of Skip was too dragged out. And he was remarkably capable as a basketball coach even though he had spent 20 years in baseball.

Somehow I got the feeling that the story was plodding along and the author decided to stick in some violent drama in a rather abrupt fashion (OMG this is really dull, I'd better put in some excitement or everyone will fall asleep). Imagine how this story would have seemed to the audience if the Skip character hadn't appeared and done his damage. Borrrrring! Similarly the highly unlikely broken leg Renee suffered.

Gave it a 3* since it had promise for potential future stories.

story! Annony is just a fucking pos!

Yes, it was a little long in places, but the superb character development made it worth while. Great story about flawed, credible people.

I was in wapoconetta...damn can't spell it, for a few days on business. Wapakoneta I looked it. The sexual morality seem out of place for this site, but ok by me. I found the kids most interesting, I'm not into sports at all, so it is a tribute to your writing skill that I enjoyed it.

5*

Chilley

The last line seemed to be a whimper of an ending.

A very good story.... the ones critical are probably the same who flip through a novel looking for "hotspots." Story writing, introduction, rising action, etc. are not familiar to them. It was long. Good! Thank you. *****

Another great story.

Thanks,

SS1969

This is GOOD (yeah, all caps)!

Great story, but the ending leaves you wondering if the next sentence or page was forgotten.

Now, I'm off to your next story!

442

Wow, what a large group of subjects were covered. Baseball, basketball, violent crimes, loves found - lost and rebound. I particularly liked your opening chapters and your in-depth characters foundations and emotions. One feels they really know the characters. I am glad that I have found your stories and will read them all. Thank you.

You cover the real day to day things that make life great. You really captured the love of the kids and with Colleen.

An excellent read.

This was different from many others but well developed well written. My main problem with it is too much detail about the basketball coaching, games, and the spectator involvement detracted (for me) from the real story. I hate making a complaint about your story telling but I hope this is what you want and deserve for your efforts.

Thank you for sharing with me.

Excellent

LW too often tolerates incompetent language usage. In this excellent tale I found only two errors--an "I" where a "me" should have been, and a missing comma. Wow! Because I played basketball in Indiana, I appreciated the detailed basketball commentary. Well done! I go now to read the rest of your writings.

I never realized how many of your stories i read and they are all good. Colleen is fantastic. Tragic story with hope of love.

Okay, great story, but some nitpicks.

WAY too much detail on the girls' basketball team, that really had very little to do with the romance.

Setting the leg. It seems like the doctor just set the leg right there in the hospital room? Would there have been surgery to set it?

I'm a little puzzled at Art and Joan's income. Art earns 50K in a good year, Joan "something" less. I'd guesstimate that they're in the 75K range. Even with three kids that's pretty decent.

"I think she felt me for the first time." - For the first time? Haven't they ever gone dancing? In these stories the woman is ALWAYS feeling the man's erection when they dance!

Unlike other readers I thought the basketball and sports commentary was integral to the story! Even though I know little of either sport!

If it was me I would have majored more on the firearm side as I am ex military so it's my area of expertise. (Shooting once a year does NOT proficiency make!)

But it was a great story of finding love after tragedy and loss and the painful changes of life!

And it’s even better the second time around.

having played both I found a good reminder of some 60 + yrs a go . having worn the tools of ignorance I can identify with the players . as far as shooting goes it's a matter of musclue memory don't shoot as much as I use to but after a couple of mags everything falls into place . started shooting at 10 with a single shot 22 rifle.

I love reading a good story by a really good writer.

Man you can spin a tale. Love the details you include around history amd writers.

Couple nit picky things. Starbucks does not pffer franchises. A compound break as described would almost certainly need surgery. Recovery period would be al least a year, and would affect leg length. There would be no cast either for fear of infection. She would be umable to walk, or use crutches for months.

If Kowalsh played 10+ years of major league baseball, believe there would be a pension in addition to whatever he saved & invested...

No complaints here... I found it to be a great story about how resilient we can be. Sorta adds to the saying "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" by adding as long as it doesn't get infected.

Enjoyable story with sad moments. Keep up the good work.

why do some people out there find the need to nit pick at these stories all the time ? I see a word here or there , so what . you want a perfect story so to a book store & shell out 25 or 30 $ for 1 . I enjoy what others write because I can't .

Story is 2016, that year, the major league minimum salary was over 500k, and was over 300k in 2003. He’d have a bit more than portrayed in the story if he had indeed lived frugally. Most long time journeyman are well into the millions per year

Really enjoyed this, thanks for your endeavours, five stars from me

Decent story,though at fourteen pages it is too long.If the author had left out the trivia,it could have been told in ten maximum.

It is amazing the feelings you bring out of me reading stories like this. I have read a few of yours. I to coached young girls basketball and it was a great experience.

On my second marriage I married loving woman with four children who after 40 years love me also, sadly my loving wife passed away last but the children are still loving and call me dad. Keep up the great work.

This is one of the very few stories I've read on this site that I was sorry to see end. The best thing about it was that it was believable but it had all the rest of the attributes of good writing as well. Congratulations on a great piece of work!

This a very good story and well written. Deals with divorce and combing families. To many divorces and re-marriages never work out. It takes understanding yourself more than understanding others.

Great story thanks

I thought it a little long. It didn't move me as much as several other of your stories. That is probably more due to personal taste than author skills. Still a 5* story.

Not an LW story, but very enjoyable...

2nd or third time for this one and still good, on to the next!

One of the best times of my life was coaching 6 grade girls basketball. That was over 40 years ago!

our sheriff told us to arm our selves because it could take 15 or mins to get there because of a large sprawled out county. i have a concealed carry & don't leave home with out it.

Thank you for sharing your gifts with us, I really appreciate the work you put into your stories.

Using skill, vocabulary and creativity, and an understanding of human nature, you immerse the reader in the story.

You highlight ethical boundaries for the reader to contemplate.

And you share it with everyone. Thank you.

A really good story,if a trifle on the long side.

It is a long story, but not too long. I think it had to be this long to make the story complete. Great Story. 5*

I feel honored to have read this.

I didn't want to. Who would want to Catch someone? Why would it take 14 pages to do so? So this sat waiting for me to be ready (who would ignore something Malraux offers?

When I was ready, I opened up page one, and let it take me on a journey that felt natural and enjoyable. When it was over, I felt compelled. Thank you for sharing this with me... us. It was a beautiful romance that deserves 5 stars and positive comments. If you write it - I will read :D

Awesome!

Baton Rouge Cajun Guy

It was a shame to ruin a wonderful story about sports and love with a bunch of rape and murder. One stsr.

I couldn't stop reading🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

What a tale! I almost quit reading it and am glad I didn't. I could read something like this every day. Some serious issues covered.

Perfectly done. Writing like this is like a fine wine and must be savored. Also, this author writes like a catcher, a position which anyone who knows The Game, understands requires brains, a lot of endurance and the ability to deal with a unique and unpredictable evolutionary species known as 'pitcher'. It's no accident that so many managers and coaches are former catchers.

Very well written, complex without dragging. I enjoyed it a great deal. Thank you, Malraux

A beautiful and satisfying story

My compliments to Malraux for writing this and many other stories about very believable characters. I particularly enjoyed that Serge did not go down on one knee when he proposed to Colleen. I find it difficult to believe that every other proposal made in the hundreds of stories written here has the proposal being made on one knee. In my case I asked my future wife two times to marry me before she accepted me on the third proposal. My proposals were simply part of us discussing how serious we were about marriage. I did not formally propose on one knee. I simply said I would like to get married and asked her how she felt. Twice she said not yet. The third time she said yes. We were married for 50 years before she passed away, neither of us married anybody else.

This is the third story of yours that I have read, and all three were first rate. You are very good.

Loved it, just so well done. You really are a great writer. 5*

unsure how to rate this...not the sort of story I'd seek out...

quite riveting, after several attempts to read and not getting past first couple of somber pages pushed on to see what got it the rating it has...

and also quite grim-after Carol's phone calls to him and then triple homocide by drug-addled psycho,

and then newly-married Colleen mentioning to hubby she has three holes... quite evident NOT a run-of-the mill Lit romance story...

plus a lot of your Faves also in my all-time greats folder, and curious about the ones I haven't read

and LOVE that you gave Colleen a full pheromone-soaked muffin....

I really enjoy your writing style.

Your stories and writing style make it so easy to read and become immersed in the characters and the interaction.

Truly a skill to be enjoyed by all.

Erm don't know what to say other than a big thank you

There is a gentleness & elegance that I deeply appreciate! W we LLC done!!!

Very good story, only fault is if you intend to keep a gun, practice, not every 18 months every few weeks or more. Like he was describing free throws muscle memory is important.

Another great story

Well written. Darn enjoyable reading. Keep up the good work.

Great story crap end

Another excellent story.

Sad, but nice. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Odd story, that somehow sucked me in without it ever really having any pace, tbh the basketball games were the best parts.

Once again a well written well constructed story. I hope you continue as you have the talent to make it commercially

I hated reading about the deaths and I don’t feel that it added to the story. In fact it detracted a lot, but the rest of the story was ok.