All Comments on 'Cecelia Ch. 01'

Very pleasing buildup, good use of language and very sensual. Great read.

I think your story and writing have potential. I did not read the other chapters yet.

However I think you should try to better connect the different parts of a story since this will make it more realistic and believable. For example the reason why he got a spanking and how she treated him afterwards were a bit strange. Basically the reason for the spanking was nothing and afterwards they behaved just like nothing had happened.

Anyway, thank you and keep it up.

it's -crotch- not 'crouch', and swung, not 'swang'. I think there was a lose, not 'loose' in there too.

With due respect: You should learn Spanish better before you attempt to use it in a story. You never know who will read it and catch your mistakes.

The story line is good, and I encourage you to continue trying.

Thanks for the story, I liked it, but it could have used more details on the sex and the spanking and less on the build up to it. Keep writing.

Full of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors with a fairly routine storyline.

Your story is really hot and I enjoyed the content. However, the spelling and grammar need a lot of work. Basic grammar checkers like that included with MS Word would have caught most of the grammar mistakes.