All Comments on 'Chandri's Revenge Pt. 01'

Good story but you need to find an editor. There were a couple wrong words that could be easily fixed by another set of eyes. Keep the story up though very good read.

Like Howlsatmoon says, you need an editor. It's a great story you've got here, but when you use the wrong words (even the little things such as cloths when you mean clothes) it's enough to knock the reader out of the story and break the spell...

If you don't want to go through the rigmarole of looking for an editor, then at the least run your story through the grammar checker (not spell checker!) on whatever software you use for writing. A grammar checker will usually pick up most mistakes - which will help your readers to get into the story and join you in the world you are creating.

I hope the rest of the story's chapters live up to the promise of this first one. :)