All Comments on 'Change'

Do I ever feel sorry for Todd. I think I know what his future is going to be like.

Written by a badly programmed robot with all the emotion and subtlety of a jackhammer. Just a horrible story about horrible people doing horrible things. Christ what a cluster fuck. Not a likable character in the bunch. Two fucking stars, and that's generous. No, one star for including those murdering Blackwater thugs.

open locks what ever knocks, the witches spake, TK U MLJ LV NV

The Three Witches. They need to get involved in his Buisness and he has to Take them down.

Stupid story.

I enjoyed that story, I think it lacked a bit of tension, I didn't really feel his pain, but the story line was very good. I think it need a part 2 and soon.

To calloused and savvy Loving Wives habitués, this story was a hack outing from an author who has some first rate stories to his credit. They are not entirely wrong. Yet there was an extended scene that hit some fairly novel chords as two characters riffing off of each other that I enjoyed very much and will mention in closing lines of this review.

Most of story worked tried and true I, IV, V Loving wife blues progression of soldier / miltary contractor betrayed by those that he risks all to serve . Yet the bridge of the story was mutual reveal scene where both halves of couple confess their mutual perfidiousness. After that it was standard big finish of how the narrator got a new groove and spouse upgrade .

How could story deviated a bit more from formula ? I know this author holds " The Bridge " in high esteem . There the narrator was also gobsmacked by wife's breaking faith. Richard Gerald gave narrator about 6 hours where he just was staggered from viewing spouse in boss's lap at pool to haughty announcement of new sleeping arrangements. Only after she left him reeling at microwave , did the retribution dominos start to tumble.

This narrator didn't miss a beat . Spock from Star Trek couldn't have kept better poker face then our hero as he learns wife's intended polyamorous intentions. The time in Afghanistan got rote focus. At some point the 2 year sojourn into danger deserved a scene to heighten empathy.

Justbobkc credited BigGuy33 prior story as inspiration. That's not half bad but maybe " The Odyssey " should have been the model to innovate off of What was Darlene afterall but a Dollar General version of faithful Penelope ?

I thank Justbobkc again for inspired scene mentioned beforehand. Two more scenes like that and no weak ones is what comprises my five star rating . I hope his next submission meets that standard , as he has multiple times in the past.

It was somewhat interesting, but plots require some sort of ending, as well as a beginning and a middle. This story covered years and quite a few characters, but generated very little emotion. I would suggest trying to make the plot more concise with an objective of some kind. This guy just kept on telling his story, much like the guy you meet at a party or a wedding that is amazed at his own life and tells everyone he meets about it. The story meandered around but never really went anywhere.

Although one poster was right in that he really didn't express much of the angst he must have felt. On the other hand, he was more observant than most men, and seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop, from the moment he returned home.

Do women really do this-try to keep their husband and lover in the same house? It's the nuttiest thing I've ever heard!

What a family, in general. Glad he was able to start over.

Oh, and I enjoyed all the clogging/dance history. I enjoy when people share their specialized knowledge in their stories, even if it seems a bit much, sometimes, in the middle of the plot.

This was simply all over the place .

I went back and skimmed BG33's original ( it's one of my fav's of his ) , and it was a linear plot . Yours on the other hand wandered aimlessly along .

One personal Squick of mine was when he kissed her after she blew the interloper. Then his tirade against his wife in the Restaurant scene was simply so out of Joe's written character that it was almost like a separate personality had just popped out . He was written as just so Type B personality that it took me out of the story .

I always appreciate it when an author tries to give us a true LW story that non-Cuck or Hotwife/Swinger story that a majority of longtime readers here enjoy . This really needed tightened up . Either shorten it and slice some of the side plots , or lengthen it to go into more detail on them .

Continue and let the three witches get their comeuppance

Just total, utter garbage........this should have been flushed down the toilet.

Blackwater hasn't existed for a long-assed time. Hell,the company Blackwater became hasn't existed for a long-assed time. Long enough that sad narrator dude is at least 50 and any kid from his sperm is probably going to be autistic.

He showed less emotion than one, so perhaps not. 2*

The biggest loose end is Krystal. And her Dad. Tina and his wife are a lost cause.

JimC

What was that about?

"Max Jacob Flatow Jr alias Frost: I have nothing against our current President... that's like running against my own grandfather. I mean, what do you ask a 60-year-old man? - You ask him if he wants his wheelchair FACING the sun, or facing AWAY from the sun. But running the country? FORGET IT, babies!"

~Wild in the Streets, 1968

For millennials: The foregoing was sarcasm. Get over yourselves

This was a tad stream of consciousness writing, and thus was two stories mashed together. But the characters were developed- contrary to some criticism.

Could have been 5* with better editing, breaking into two stories, and some expansion of the evil in laws characters. A solid 4* as is.

A part 2 or an epilog. He has a grand daughter out there who needs to be rescued from the crazy women in her family. Her dad (Todd) deserves a break as well.

His daughter is an ungrateful cunt! Won't wait for him to get home to get married but WILL wait for her mother's marriage so that STE-DADDY can walk her down the aisle?

I can't believe that given his experience that he would even consider their swinger life-style.

I can MAYBE accept forgetting tights, but a thong instead of briefs? Uh-uh!

@Crkcppr - I think his tirade was back at the house, not in the restaurant.

I didn't need all the technical jargon on the dancing, and what was with the parenthetical (sheen) after "glow?" "Glow" wasn't clear enough?

what a crock of bull shit........

because i believe it would not be very good, then i read this and know for sure anything would be better then this foolishness.

YOU are a crock of shit!!!

. . . it kind of fizzled at the end. It's not that I don't like happy endings. It's just that after the Darlene part ended, there didn't seem to be much focus with the story. I have always appreciated your writing and your stories, but this one felt a bit flat. Thanks anyway. 4*.

This is a strange story.

Wonder what the writer was thinking

when he wrote it.

Extreme and unlikeable characters

all over the place!

Was there maybe a point here

that I missed?

The guy whored himself out

to save money.

Is that a plus here?

I respect people who give

their time and effort to write

stories and post them here.

I really do.

Just wish I could unread this one.

You American soldiers are a bunch of cuckold faggots. No wonder the entire world wants to kill Americans. The Ugly Americans are back and they ar asking for it up their backdoor. Lol

Still seems like there needs to be some other closure with the "3 witches"...

At least to save the granddaughter/ 4th generation.

get a refill on your sex change drugs, you moron! Get on your calloused knees and

say thanks for our military that allows you even have your demented opinion.

I liked the story and would like to see it continue. I believe the author has set up a sequel about the witches. 5* for the effort, writing, and not being a cucksucker.

with very little connecting then. Still I enjoyed learning about clogdancing.

No continuity, confusing dialog. Superficial character development. It reads like a first draft. Could have bern edited down to three pages. Didn't really care for it but thank you for writing. You're above and beyond the ususal effluent on here lately.

Can't believe Darlene was that defective and he never had a clue. His mother-in-law was that hateful and destructive and he never had a clue. His relationship with his daughter was that tepid and vulnerable, and he never had a clue. And apparently it wasn't even Archie's fault if Darlene was dating other men two weeks after he left for Afghanistan. And he never had a clue? So, clueless men end up in fucked up relationships. What else would you expect?

Have to say, regardless, you don't leave your family for A YEAR because of money. And it was just more money, not like this was an act of financial survival. Just couldn't find any sympathy for anyone that clueless, and mercenary.

As to your writing skill, you really need to reconsider all the extraneous irrelevant details. Did we really need a seminar on clogging? And as to sentence structure, I think your insertion of an 86-word parenthetical note is just the most extreme example. Very distracting, and totally unnecessary.

It was a good plot idea, but you murdered it, slowly. In fact you tortured it. Really too bad, since it could have been an least an easy 4. The way he snookered Darlene into a convenient and asset-saving divorce was slick. Unfortunately, he is way too old to start a new family, so thanks for sparing us that upcoming train wreck.

Overall a good story that could have been much much better. Thanks for the effort, and keep writing.

Dont know why we had a half page of detailed clogging info, but it adds flavor and can be skimmed. Nice job with the denoument of the marriage to Darlene.

Doesn't feel finished

Please continue... Don't leave is hunging....

Well...thanks for the history of clog-dancing. Much too lengthy, especially after mentioning it can be found on utube.

Hard to say this is Literotica. Literary, I suppose, and it doesn't always have to be about sex. Much effort in developing the story, even if some below think it's poorly accomplished. I can see a bigger story and wonder if you didn't edit some things out already to improve the effort.

There were times I wondered why I was reading the story. Sadism, I guess. But the end suggest someone is going to be hurt very much in the end. Just so Joe gets a prenup.

justbobkc: I enjoyed this one even after first reading the story you suggested. It could have done with a lot of editing or maybe just plain cutting, but all in all it did hold my interest.

@ RePhil: In the past I have read your comments and wondered about you. Thanks for removing all doubt--you are indeed a leftist donkey who brainlessly follow the democrat line of crap. If you were around in the sixties you got in on the beginning of the end of a country that probably fed you from the cradle on the dime of better men than you. When you spew your hate for our servicemen you show just what you are, A CUR DOG THAT BITES THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU. You deserve nothing but the scorn of any American who loves this country, however there are so many mind numbed robots running around today you'll receive much undeserved acclaim.

YOU ARE ONE SICK PUPPY.

Liked your take on it but the husband was still a little too passive. Not bad though.

You left the hook so really looking forward to the sequel.

We finally get to read a decent story on the "loving wifs" category (not that there aren't the typical stand-out authors). A new-ish/reborn soul who doesn't look to get his jollies off watching the wif getting shagged by "another". The cuck lifestyle has gone WAY too far. I guess it feels good to read from another person who believes in FIDELITY.

The only moral issue is one of greed. The whole basis of the dissolution comes from the apparent "need" to get more money to retire early. It would have been a little better if some of the unease with the mother-in-law read thru earlier in the first marriage. It is a bit difficult to believe he never had a clue that Irma was "so manipulative" with her daughter and GD. I guess it would be too much to ask for to have the rewrite include the bumps that usually come with evil mothers-in-law.

Smokepole

Thanks to all the early readers, voters, and especially commenters.

I DO respect my readers and value all your opinions.

Joe's life IS a work in progress and I am writing a "rest of the story" - wrapping up some of the outstanding issues. I really wanted to see how much interest in that there might be and many readers have requested more. So - more is coming. This first chapter I totally wrote, self-edited, rewrote, edited some more, repeat, in just four days. It's a lot of work. It really is. And I let some other stuff slide in my life doing this little bit.

And, also, just to let anyone interested know - my recent resurgence in writing now includes "True Lies - Redux" and I have written some more in what will be a much better finish to that initial series first novel - very much complicated by the unforeseen upsets and chaos in our country by Trump's election - which really has some fascinating consequences in the real "intelligence" world and I think I can plausibly include some of this in my own fictional Universe world. My story is fiction but I like to keep some plausible resonance with real world stuff. I have continued doing background research and reading and one interesting book is "Wedge - From Pearl Harbor to 9/11" by Mark Riebling about the conflicts between the FBI and CIA.

Looking forward and thanks.

Thinking this story ended here, I was to comment one way, but reading the writer's comment that there will be a part 2, I'll comment the whole story (maybe his grand-daughter needs his blood or some of his organs...) in the end...3* for now

First it's a collection of cliches. That isn't bad in itself, but the way that they are strung together doesn't seem real. Second, your protagonist is a non-entity, and that's never interesting. He doesn't do anything. Darlene pursues him. Darlene goes back to Archie, so he leaves instead of fighting for his wife. His daughter hates him because mom-in-law fed her a pack of lies (totally not believable), and he doesn't fight for her either. Then he meets Cindy, and she pursues him. A main character who is just there to have things happen to him isn't interesting. And he's a coward to boot.

How the daughter perceived him and would not let him go to the grand kid . He should have confronted the bitch and been tougher on the daughter. Now starting another family so late in life.

This isn't one of them. I appreciate the effort and the time you have invested but this is scattered like somebody took a few vignettes and cobbled them together. It's an unorganized mess.

There is a lot of unspokens, you have written some great stuff and i know that you could clean it up with a part 2.

With very little connection. I failed, moved on then succeeded. The second story was ho hum.

With all these warm fuzzies, I’m surprised anyone fcking posts stories on this free site. Honestly, if you elongated this and made a book out of it, I would buy it to read. As a short story the segue into clogging kinda was a little weird but the writing made me care enough to finish and genuinely want to read a part 2. You have a lot of talent man. I come to Literotica to get off and sometimes I don’t because I come across these that just read like a good story. So thanks for this.

What an f'd up short story. Yet, it is all very plausible. The characters were none too likeable nor could I, at the very least, identify with them. However, I do know people like them. No real moral other than if you can't please everyone, you have to at least please yourself. Sadly, this sick tale has no real happy ending.

which is to say, it was crap. *

I think the protagonist is not nearly wimpy enough. try again.

this is just a very bad story with an absurd premise and full of assholes who act and talk like they are devoid of any brain cell. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!

pathetic cuck shit.

The story flowed, the actions of the wife, IN COMPARISON, were far more credible, the characterization and concerns of the husband were far more credible, and other issues seemed to work better than BigGuy33's original.

Now, where BG did a better job was his lead in with the mystery of the daughter added some serious layers and hooks to the story. Not to slam you, but I found myself more automatically engaged in his story.

The Whiff: Well, this isn't your fault. You inherited a premise. That premise is that the wife would somehow think that a full time husband would accept being demoted to 'Full Time ATM' and 'part time lover'.

Let's not pull our punches. That is a ridiculous premise. What woman in America would think that would be acceptable? I am sure there are a few such self absorbed women, but people writer magazine articles about this because the rest of us want to read and feel morally and intellectually superior to these idiots.

BUT...as a writer, it is our job to SELL a ridiculous premise. That wasn't done here.

Maybe SHE had all the money. Maybe HIS family loved her more than him, and would take her side (Another ridiculous premise). Maybe she should have...I don't know, actually PULLED THE TRIGGER on that Divorce/Ruined life threat if he didn't toe the line? Ada's Money by JPB was, while slightly over the top, an excellent example of a credible willing cuck motivation. (He should have showed much more examples of the benefits the man accrued from being married to her but hey, who is perfect?)

The big Ba-DOOM

So, yeah, as a reader, it's my job to accept even a ridiculous premise and go with it. Does the story make sense from there? It...mostly did! I liked the new take on the subject.

I was speed reading through this story at a quick, enjoyable clip and then SABOT-AGE happened. That word means shoving a wooden shoe into a working machine to break it...and you did just that. I got splinters in my ass where you shoved your fucking clogging.

After I learned far more than I ever knew, wanted to know, or expected to be forced to listen to about clogging (You stomped the shit out of my wisps of interest in the hobby with big wooden shoes), I...did not read this story as fast. I skimmed through tons of paragraphs after that and paid far less attention.

There is a lesson to be learned here.

I checked out a few more of your stories (not the 10 part series) and I now will start to follow you a bit more. I am picky in who I read.

I really don't understand why you would write a story like this. I plowed through it, skipping chunks, trying to find something erotic or interesting. Never did. What's the point of such a story? It's nothing but discouraging, highlights ignorance and blatant stupidity and is not erotically stimulating in any way. Your story telling skills are fine, but, try telling a better story.

bit too matter of fact and light hearted for me. not sure how to explain this (im no writer) but.... what she did was plain evil nasty cuckolding and the story would have been more plausible if written in a "darker" way. as it was i just felt she was too dumb to be true,.

to treat your husband like that you have to be..... plain fucking evil or too stupid for words, evil is more plausible.

By that I mean, he didn't burn her down, but he did fully protect himself. The mother-in-law might have deserved some burning, however.

That's what the best of these stories are about for me. A trial of the righteous. But I'm pleased to say that this was no trial to read. I admit after such a profound betrayal I was hoping the husband would explore his great vengeance and furious anger but it was an enjoyable story nonetheless and a fun variation on a theme.

Thanks for the effort.

This story make no dayum sense at all, I kept reading hoping it would come together..WTF! I can't/won't rate this mess.

Incredibly stupid story ending. First 2 and a half pages were ok but then it dissolved in nothing and made no sense or closure

don't quit your day job Is all I can say

Thank you for a good read. But I thought you covered everything the first time BigGuy33. Gave you 3*s,again.

Clogging was a nice new touch, but why move the story to Tennessee?? After all..aahh, umm.

Nevermind.

AMerryman

I am a avid reader and I rarely read sex filled stories. Normally, I'm reading the classics. Honestly, don't listen to the other reviewers, this is a wonderful story. It flows nicely and only an illiterate person would lose the story line. The only real problem is that it is posted on a site whose top stories are about incest and beastiality. Just consider your audience.

Unlike some of these other commenters, I don't crap all over a freely given gift of a story. Ungrateful wretches abound. Are there flaws, unevenness at times? Sure, the protagonist is pretty matter of fact, but the only thing I really objected to is when he started cussing out his ex wife- she was a sad creature and it was like beating a little puppy. No good reason for it. An odd story arc, all told, but I do like a happy ending. I just wish his mother in law and Tina could have had their just desserts. A bigger person moves on, but those two need a decent thrashing. BTW, the mother in law was kind of Deus ex Machina- she never really appeared in the story until the harpy was needed as the reason for all bad things.

The beginning was ok, as well as the affair and the evil mother in law. Then the story got lost somewhere and just wandered around. I'm with HDK in looking for the plot.

This could be a story that is pulled and reworked.

I would have liked a little more backbone in our hero -- maybe burning down his ex moter-in-law's house -- but you can't have everything.

Let God sort em out

Look forward to the next instalment.Hopefully the three witches cop it.

At least reconcile with his daughter and get to know his grandbaby

Great so far. But it must continue.

My first wife and I got into clogging in Clarkston, Washington a number of years ago.we had a bigger group than this. About 60 total. About 36 women and 24 men. I will always look back and remember it as one of the greatest periods in my entire life.

1* you cunt

"I just wish you could have gotten me in a way that wasn't so fatal to our marriage and our family" - Um, SHE had already killed the marriage and destroyed their faomily.

Let’s finish it off the right way!

if you are a monogamous type of guy and your girl indicates a willingness to swing if you want to, run.

Last part of the story where he met the Appalachian cloggers derailed the story but up till then it had promise. Remove that part and insert a chapter where he goes after his inlaws and wins his daughter back. It would have been a more statisfying ending, at least IMHO.

((( Skimming in Prep for the Follow-Up

"I just wish you could have gotten me in a way that wasn't so fatal to our marriage and our family" - Um, SHE had already killed the marriage and destroyed their family. )))

That was so obvious that Joe looked stupid for not telling her that she was full of shit and then saying exactly what you said.

I gave the story four stars but I wasn't impressed by the ending. Too many loose ends... no 'in your face' vengeance... no 'take that you cheating slut' payback. She never knew how he fucked her out of thousands of dollars in financial equity and alimony payments. At the same time, I wouldn't have chased my daughter to kiss her stupid ass, either. She was old enough to know the difference and if she was so gullible that she let her grandmother crush what she KNEW was the truth from her conscious mind, then she's a dimwitted piece of shit, just like her cheating whore mother and boneheaded bitch grandmother are. He should have hung around and started fucking all of their friends... and told the people who were supposed to be HIS friends but never told him what she was doing to go fuck themselves.

That's what I did and, when she found out that I was fucking her four sisters, (that she'd spent seven years bragging to about what a great piece of ass I was) she went ballistic. I shrugged, smiled at her, pranced around like a Peacock and just enjoyed the hell out of casually telling her that her two youngest sisters had just told me that they were pregnant.

I've read 3 or 4? Justbobkc stories, and this may be the best one yet. Although I skipped through lots of the clogging info.

I like tales where the guy kinda eases along with life and circumstances like Joe rather than whipping up storm and hell-fire.

No hesitation, 5 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

I was liking the story until she pulled her BS and the husband did not kick her ass out and anyone knowing about it.

He should have walked away as soon as she told him about Archie. Tina is a bitch. Todd is a wimp. I'm just sad for the baby.

People actually read this crap?

Last page made no sense it was another story?

Good read thanks for sharing.

The main story was over somewhere around Hubby going to visit Tina and Krystal. Everything after that (and some before that) was useless filler. Not all tales of marital issues have to end with someone on their deathbed at age 90!

3*

Why didn't Joe run Archie out of town. I know he was playing the long game, but a little personal payback couldn't hurt. Irma should have been hurt for sure.

That dance looks like fun, a nice adition to the story, a bit of romance and the good guy wins, well done.

Lost interest one paragraph into the second page and went to take a nap.

Start with the Mother-in-law and work his way down. What a horrible family. Maybe, just maybe if you had left the clogging out this would have been okay. When the clogs showed up it went to hell in a hand basket.

feel finished....there were other plots that were not finished and the final main plot just fizzled out before the end........still gave you a 5...

The climax was the poly...thing that should have carried through the whole story and addressed and fixed and made right in some way along with Joe's new life.

okay I'm babbling cya

bill

Very confusing and sad story not much for entertainment

all the ingredients and what they are for, TK U MLJ LV NV

Very little actual emotion and more than a page about fucking clogging. Not even saying it’s bad per se, just very LW.

The longer this went on the more idiotic it became, I just had to stop reading it.⭐️

Not believable, at least not from a Tennessee native. But, the way he handled it initially was half and half. First dumping the cunt was smart. Kept most of his assets and moved on. After the divorce was final Archie would have had a bad accident.

As for Irma poisoning the well. Well I can only speak for my family, I traveled a lot in my job and my wife was always questioning me on my returns. Never did and never would BTW. I found out that her co worker a feminist bitch was filling her head with this bullshit. Well I would never lay a hand on woman, when I confronted her about her bullshit she just smiled and said tuff shit. I figured she would react this way given what I learned about her. Now I would never lay a hand a woman..... my sisters are a totally different aspect. I told them to keep an eye and ear out. They said they would and that was the end of it. My wife returned to the way she was before the bitch was constantly in her ear. My sisters never did tell me what happened. My wife on the other hand did say my younger sister showed up at her work and had a discussion with the co worker. I asked if that stopped the comments from the coworker, she said no. But about 2 weeks later she showed up at work with a busted lip and two black eyes. When my wife went to see if she was ok and ask what happened her coworker said that she had an accident. She also told my wife she was sorry for butting in to her private life and that she didn’t feel they should hang out at work anymore.

Being a friend and letting your friend know if you have evidence of wrong doing is what a friend should do.

Trying to ruin another’s life or lying to break up a marriage is dangerous.

So, to all the Irma’s out there beware who you try to ruin by lying and underhanded means. The person you are targeting might react in way you can’t avoid. And to pit a child against their parent is something that will end very, very, very badly for them.

Wrote

Read

Enjoyed

4 stars

I never understand walking away from a house with out a court order. The daughter wants to be forgotten....so be it.

The daughter part of the story was beyond weak. We have to assume that her Mother denied the abuse claims and she herself never witnessed them. No, the daughter element ruined an otherwise almost believable story.

Pile it up then lit it rot. Stupid story. Don't bother reading this story. 2

Just another story about a whore and her wimp husband, what kind of man would just allow his wife to bring another man home to meet him, PATHETIC!!!!!

It's amazing how the love of your life can become a cheating, heartless whore. Then expect you to allow her to run back when her fantasy screw turns bad!!! I would NEVER take her back. She's too reamed out by BIG DICK to be any use anymore!!!

So pathetic. I couldn't even finish the first page.

I went to the comments section, there's where the fun began. very entertaining comments. Saved my time on this story.