All Comments on 'Changed Ch. 03'

as the storyline is interesting. It's moving a bit too quickly though and your characters are acting quite irrationally.

Firstly, why did Karen blame Theo for Josh's death? She didn't even see him at the cemetery. Why wouldn't she blame the people who attacked her? It seems odd to blame a person she only met once and was sure she would never see again.

Why is Karen accepting the knowledge of her heritage so calmly? No questions, no anger that her father lied to her and that she didn't know the truth about her mother; no anger that her best friend wasn't just her best friend but that it was his duty to be there to protect her? Her reaction is odd.

Also, why would she wake up from a medically induced coma and tell a complete stranger fantastical details about herself? Did she want to end up in a mental hospital? Surely, if her father trained her well, he would have told her not to give information about herself to anyone. She didn't even think of keeping any of the information to herself. It makes it hard to think of her as a trained warrior when she gives all her knowledge away to a potential opponent. That part did not make sense.

Why is Becca so angry at Theo? If he is like a brother to her, shouldn't she understand his eagerness to claim his mate? Yes, he made Karen upset at the hospital but to force him away is torture.

And if Theo really is strong enough to be the next Alpha, why is he allowing himself to be bossed around by everyone? He hasn't displayed any alpha or even beta tendencies at all.

I like your ideas and your storyline but I recommend that you take the time to really develop the story and the characters. Think about what makes sense to them as people or as a species. Are their reactions true to their character?

If you do that, your story will be much better.

Thanks for the update and I hope you keep writing.

I agree with cantfightfate, the story is interesting but feels very rushed and the characters actions do not make any real sense

So Karen will be able to shift to wolf, and do everything that a normal mate will, but also retain her Spriym nature as well. The most shocking thing that I've found, which could be why the Night Fairies were after her however,(( is that any child conceived by a Spriym, will be born as a full blooded version of the non- Spriym parent"))))

If that is the case,,,how was she born mixed, with powers if the offspring would be the full bloodied version of the NON SPRIYM PARENT???Good story,nice plot,decent chapter lengths,but like the others,a few problems with her "training"to be so open with strangers????Keep up the good work,and look forward to more from you,,Thanks

If the offspring of the Spyrim always retain the full characteristics of the male parent's species, how did she become a hybrid? Unless that only applies to the male offspring, which might make sense if the Spyrim are all female. Just a thought. ;)

I can't really add any value, since the earlier comments stated what I was thinking as well, but I do just want to reinforce one thing. The characters seem to be very temperamental and high strung. They fly off the handle on the slightest provocation, and all the yelling and immediate flips in emotions is giving me whiplash. You may want to try for a middle ground, like slight irritation. If someone gets mad, maybe they can speak in a controlled voice instead of immediately screaming.

But either way, good job, please don't quit and please take into consideration the earlier comments, because they make very valid points.

I'm not into werewolves and vampires and such for the most part but your story is just too good to leave alone. Please continue as I'm hooked. You and others might checkout an unfinished series by Vjax called Orphan; I do wish he was around to finish it.

@cantfightfate

She wasn't blaming Theo for Josh' death but for taking her away from Josh when the nurses are trying to resuscitate Josh back to life. Other than that, I agree with everything you said.

The others have said it all. Hehe. Keep writing :)

I liked this story and will do a second read. What I was most impressed with

were the intelligent critiques of some of the readers. Legitimate observations were made and connected with the point at issue. I saw some valid issues for author consideration as helpful to full story building. It looks like a good team effort.

I was especially impressed with the level of sophistication. I look forward to my second read and your next chapter.

Peace and blessings to my fellow readers and the author

please write some more of this story its lovely

Please! More!!!!!!!!!

This is a great story! Please please please write more! LOVE IT!!

Please finish this story.

Please finish this story!

It was mentioned that no one would miss her, but what about her best friend's boyfriend?

liking this story a lot though - wonder if the night fairies are going to cone after her again and if any other types will go after her as well, since she is one of a kind

why is she blaming Theo for some shit he didn't do?

If it wasn't for Theo her clueless ass would be dead or mated to a vampire.

💀💀💀