Changes Ch. 08

"Well, what do you know? We have a choice here. We're either watching "Tootsie" or "Mrs. Doubtfire" tonight!" she said with a laugh.

The rest of the night was like a public roasting for me, a friendly one, embarrassing at times, but always friendly. I found it erotic that they all felt comfortable enough with me as Stephanie, to tease me like they did, or maybe it was that damn butt plug just keeping me on the edge that made the evening erotic and full of promise. My occasional trips to the washroom were exercises in self-restraint as I desperately wanted to touch myself and masturbate as I sat to pee. I never stood to pee any more mainly because of all the paraphernalia I wore now, the skirts, panties, girdles and pantyhose. It was far easier to sit.

At long last they left, and after a few quiet moments sipping our wine, Sarah left for the bedroom while I cleaned up in the kitchen. I hurried around, hoping desperately that she hadn't forgotten her promise and simply gone to bed, but I needn't have worried. Just as I was finishing up, she came into the dimly lit living room and I saw her from behind wearing a pair of black lace panties and a matching bra. She was blowing out a candle. I stopped what I was doing instantly and went to her like a moth to a flame; the dishes could wait.

She must have heard me coming but she didn't turn until I kissed her shoulder. She turned to face me and that's when I felt it. I recoiled and looked down at a large strap on dildo that was fastened with a black harness around her hips.

She kissed my lips and pressed the large phallus against me saying, "I'm going to fuck you in a way that you have never been fucked before baby." Her voice was soft but husky. "And the butt plug has been preparing you for this all night, hasn't it?" She reached behind me where the handle of the anal plug made a slight bulge in my girdle and she pushed it in farther as she lunged into me. "You want it now, don't you?"

I shuddered with a mix of complex feelings at that moment, lust as my prostate responded, dread as I feared being penetrated by her cock as if I were gay. I groaned and shook as she placed her lips on mine and our lipsticks merged in a greasy paradox of feelings. I pulled away, but just barely.

"Sarah, you mean, you want to...you're gonna fuck me with that? Like I'm gay? My God, I don't know. I'm not sure...I, uh, jeez Sarah..." I felt my face flush and my skin felt like a light hot mist had been sprayed over it. My breath quickened.

She ignored me and said nothing as she led me to the bedroom. The butt plug seemed to swell within me and conspired with Sarah to force me to give in. She unzipped my skirt and let it fall to the floor, and while the silicone penis swung about slapping me in the crotch and my thighs, she pulled my belt and top off so that I stood there in my girdle, corset, stockings and bra.

"I'll be gentle baby. We'll take our time, with lots of lubricant. I want to fuck you this way. I've wanted to for a long time. Take your girdle off and get on your hands and knees on the bed," she said while rubbing my swollen penis which was compressed underneath the girdle. Her breath was hot on my neck. I started to breathe even more rapidly and those familiar sexual butterflies danced within me.

"Stephanie," she whispered, "You need to be fucked like this; you need to understand what it's like to be penetrated, to be fucked, and to be controlled sexually. Then you'll understand. You'll feel like you're a woman when I let you come. If I let you come. Not every woman comes when they're fucked you know." Every word was uttered in a throaty whisper and I couldn't resist. I wanted to come.

I pulled my girdle off and got into the position she requested and waited as she got on her knees behind me and started manipulating the steel plug that was already inside me. Then she leaned on my corseted back and with her other hand played with my testicles and penis. "Do you want me to fuck you Stephanie? Fuck you like a woman? You want it, don't you sweetie. And I want to fuck you too."

I resigned myself and surrendered absolutely. I was just whispering over and over, "No, please no, oh please, yes, please...oh God...no..." A confusion like waves crashing on land. Please don't. But I will... The unwinnable battle raged.

Suddenly I felt empty as she easily pulled the steel plug out and placed it on a towel she had brought to the bed. Obviously she had lubricated the strap-on dildo, because it took its place at my entrance and was pushing but only slipping about, occasionally threatening to penetrate, but not quite.

"Do you want it? Show me you want it..."

With apprehension and need I pushed back and felt the penis slip into me for the first time and I gasped as the weight of her fell on my back and she grasped my breasts from behind. Then she moved one hand from my breast to my penis which was leaking like a faucet. At the same time she started to rub it, I felt her penis go deeper inside of me. I felt so helpless and needy, dependent. This time I moaned out loud and pushed back hard. I screamed as it went in to the hilt, hitting something inside me, but I didn't know what. The rest was a blur of being taken by a woman, the complicated feeling of being penetrated, having my prostate pressured and at the same time having my penis rubbed. I remember feeling a bit guilty that I was enjoying this so much and Sarah could have no feeling because it really wasn't her penis. I was wrong about the last part.

Then she gave me her commands in a deep throaty voice, the usual commands I had come to expect and obey. "Don't come Stephie. Don't come. I'll tell you when to come. I control when you come. If you come." And indeed, she did have control, because as good as her penis felt on my prostate, I couldn't quite get there. I needed her to touch me, but her mind was somewhere else and I was helpless as she plunged in and out of me, her hands at my corseted waist pulling and pushing me, gradually building up a tempo in relation to her breathing.

Then she came and I thought I would split apart as she screamed and slammed into me over and over again. But still all I heard was her squeals and moans as I was hanging out there, so close, oh so close. The pounding ended and I felt her weight on my back again, felt her hot breath on my neck, and I thought to myself, "It's over. My God, she's not going to let me come." I felt used and I wondered if I would have to masturbate after she went to sleep.

She started to whisper into my ear as her penis began to move again. "What does it feel like to be penetrated like a woman baby? I could just pull out now and leave you, couldn't I? A lot of men do that to women you know. Do you want me to do that?"

I pleaded with her. I pleaded the exact opposite of my initial fears, "No, please don't take it out. Leave it in. Oh God, please fuck me, fuck me hard, please...please Goddess..."

She teased. "Don't beg unless I tell you to. It demeans you. You'll get what I give you." And so my voice was taken from me and I had to wait for her gifts. It was such an absolute act of control and taking.

This time she was slow and I moaned and grunted, sometimes squealing in frustration at not being allowed to beg for it. The tempo built up again until I was incoherent, and so was she as she came again, still not letting me come.

This time she said, "Okay...now. Beg now! Beg for it. I give you permission to beg for it."

I gritted my teeth with humiliation, delicious, loving degradation, and pleaded again as she touched me, "Please Goddess, may I come Goddess, please..."

She plunged as deeply as she could and rubbed me vigorously until I was spurting everywhere. I cried. I actually cried, with real tears streaming out of my eyes in response to the release of my sexual frustrations. It was then that Sarah calmed me, wiped the sweat off my forehead, the tears from my cheeks, pulling me to her while she kissed my neck, whispering soothing breathless sweet nothings. We stayed this way a long time, silent while the penis stayed inside me, hard and waiting for further instructions from Sarah. We flopped to the side and she was careful to keep it inside me while we spooned, she with her arms around my corset. We both fell asleep. We stayed that way until some unknown time in the dark of night, when Sarah finally pulled her penis out and went to the washroom to clean up. I stayed where I was until she came back; I didn't want to ruin the perfection of the bliss.

"Are you awake?" she whispered. Crickets chirped outside our window, and there were slivers of bright moonlight on the floor like white chalk of a black sidewalk.

"Yes," I said.

"Good," she cooed, "You need something. Oo, you must feel empty now."

"No, I feel really good," I grunted, misunderstanding.

"A submissive girl like you needs this." She slipped the cleaned and re-lubricated steel butt plug back inside of me with surprising ease this time and said, "There. Sleep well baby."

She rolled over and went back to sleep. So did I. I felt completely fulfilled and secure in knowing that Sarah wanted me this way, obedient to her sexually, and now out of the closet, at least with one set of friends. Our direction was set...on so many levels that my head swam with the possibilities.

Over the next few weeks, there was a revolving door of friends that came to meet me as Stephanie. Some evenings didn't go so well; we kept some friends; we lost some friends, but the friends we had now were real. And there were no more secrets. The world was now truly my oyster. And Sarah's too.

My waist decreased by another inch and I had come to crave wearing corsets, like an addiction. Even though the door was open to dressing as a man whenever I wanted to, I never once did; it just didn't seem to feel right. Occasionally I would put my old male underwear on and maybe some socks, but it never felt right again. The final physical touch, other than getting breast implants, was getting my eyebrows done, defining them in a thin arcing feminine way, with unwanted hair removed by electrolysis. So now, if I dressed like a man, everyone would think I was a female dyke trying to look male, an odd turn of events, and I just didn't want that type of attention.

My mind had been completely rewired.