All Comments on 'Charlotte Falls'

Not a bad story but it should be Erotic Couplings or Group Sex, not Romance.

Hey RjT,

Nicely done...but way too short...what happened to Renee when she found out that Nick became a famous author? What happened in the intervening years? Did he marry? Kids? So many unanswered questions...oh your story is in the right category...sheesh, some idiots...

I think that it could have done with a description of his drive to the cabin, particularly as he neared the cabin and the lake, to help set the scene a bit more. Also, I found it distracting that you repeatedly kept referring to both women as the other's friend, rather than by name. ("Annalisa's ass was bigger than her friend's" rather than "Annalisa's ass was bigger than Lottie's" - a made-up example). Doing so once would have been fine - hardly even noticeable - but doing so repeatedly became distracting to me.

I look forward to seeing you take these characters further.

It is worthwhile to thank those who positively influenced us to better lives.

it is a great read

but i also felt like there was to much missing

years between there time at the cabin and the pasting of annalise

was there love in nicky life , children,

things that seem to be missing

thank you

The layout was a bit confusing and the story leaves the reader (this one anyway) up in the air, so to speak. Cheers!

I like it this way.

It leaves individual readers to fill in the blanks. Make their own stories.

Nicely written. I enjoyed it quite a bit, especially the teasing play of the women.

Also, there are 2 or 3 awkward errors in the writing. I hope you'll fix them."He treated my siblings and I ..." -- I see this error so often. if you take out the other noun you will always see which pronoun to use. "He treated me ..." not "I".

"I took a sip of the soda before picking up the book and tried to read." This seems ok at first -- but then it sounds awkward -- either "I took a sip of the soda before picking up the book and trying to read." or "I took a sip of the soda before I picked up the book and tried to read." Make the tense of the verbs match within the sentence.

""Yes," I told them. My legs were going to last, neither was the build-up in my balls." I think you meant "My legs weren't going to last...."

"Between bent and open legs two fingers were working her pussy lips, the audible sound of permeated the room." I think there's a missing "sex" after "sound of."

"... the woman her and I shared for almost a week in 1983...." really works better with "she and I" ... or "we" instead of "her and I."

Great story, well written. Thank you!

Great story telling. Thanks for sharing. Any news on the girl in the Mist. LOL

you set it up for us to think he has fallen love with ana but end it with her death with children we can only guess as to them not being his.that then lends itself to mean that she was a fuck buddy for a week and they never saw eachother again.

TO BE CONTINUED.