All Comments on 'Checking In'

It just doesn't feel right. She is leaving her post to have a drink with a hotelguest? Going up to his room? Not even bothering to say "sure, but after my shift is done" just to save face (and her job!)? The realistic setting you put up clashes with the unrealistic happenings. Sorry. Yes, I know, it is only a story, a fantasy. But somehow I feel jaded. The set up promised something different. And because of that, I didn't make it through the whole story.

Well, I agree. It was a bit too hasty. Love at first sight? Could've used a little bit more build-up and uh, no offense but it got a bit corny about the whole "connection" thing.

But the good points far outweigh the negatives. Good writing and storytelling and the Asian Male-Native Indian Female coupling has rarely been done.

Good work and look forward to the sequel; not writing it would be a crime against humanity!

Well, I agree. It was a bit too hasty. Love at first sight? Could've used a little bit more build-up and uh, no offense but it got a bit corny about the whole "connection" thing.

But the good points far outweigh the negatives. Good writing and storytelling and the Asian Male-Native Indian Female coupling has rarely been done.

Good work and look forward to the sequel; not writing it would be a crime against humanity!

i really enjoyed this story because it really described very graphically what was going on

felt almoist like being there

I'm glad you had included an Asian man into your story because it's so rare to have anything to do with Asian men at all . . . not to mention, the Native American part in there, too.

Although it may be hasty with the story, I still would like to see how this story ends.

I am soooo happy that you used an Asian Male in your story. It's so rare to see that. And I was also pleasantly surprised that the woman wasn't white. Good coupling. The writing was done well, but the story was a little to cheesy for my taste. Good job though.