All Comments on 'Cheer Captain'

this was a good story

Sorry but this was absolute rubbish. The writing isn't even remedial high school english caliber. It's horridly written, dialogue is stiff & boring, the tired old crappy cheerleader seduction is an overused trope. No imagination, no concept of what women do with each other sexually. Really dude, would you wanna read a story about a girl shoving a hairbrush handle in your ass? And of course, right after they do a girlie orgy they all go to church. Wow. Best advice is get an editor & proofreader. And writing isn't all about documenting a visual scene. It's about characters & emotion & interpersonal conflicts. Obviously you're writing for a male audience that gets off wanking to this stuff, but it's impoverished, immature writing.

never bothered to read to the end,the story is horrible.a good story line, horrible writing

t_h_52, I can see from your story history that you don't need this site. I enjoyed story. Would have enjoyed it even more if Jasmine had also gone after Sara. "...It's about characters & emotion & interpersonal conflicts." Translation: women like romance. Don't worry about one person's preferences. I hope you'll grace this site with more of your stories.

Problem is that you assume I was saying I wanted romance.

That isn't what I said at all & not what I look for in a story. What I do expect is a story with inyelligence, an itetesting context & plottong, & depth of characterixation.

I expect a reasonably fluent & coherent writing style, not some stupid barely literate wank piece. Amazes me how much rampant misogyny & ignoramce exists on Literotica.

The repeated use of everyone's last names is just tragic!

This was a good story, but having two of the main characters have the same first name made following the story really confusing.

CliterateDyke - I agree this is not the best story. Furthermore, some people expect sex because it is (Lesbian Sex) while others prefer more character development. In other words you have a group that read an say "how will this lead to sex" while others say "how will this relationship develop or end." It looks like there is a need for a new category. From recent comments (in general) it looks like there is a schism. Those who expect eroticism and sex while others seek (social justice) commentary. Creating the new category say (Lesbian Novella) may solve this issue.