Cheer Raider & SABRE Panther Ch. 01

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PervOtaku
PervOtaku
599 Followers

That's when she started to actually notice his room. Most guys had posters of girls in their bedroom, usually bikini models. His posters were for science fiction movies. The girls he had were plastic figurines sitting on bookshelves. Some had bikinis on, others some sort of old fashioned sailor uniform, and the rest had even stranger clothing or armor. Many of them were wielding a gun or a sword, several of which where an impractically large size. Some had cat ears and tails. Also on the shelves were plastics robots. Most of those had car or airplane parts hanging off of them, implying they converted into said vehicles. "Never mind, I just answered my own question," she said. She had only been planning on the kiss to show her gratitude, but now she knew what she had to do.

She stood up and pulled his bedsheet away. He was average height and a touch scrawny, with brown hair in a sensible boy's style, and eyeglasses on the nightstand. He fit the cliché extremely well. He was wearing a light cotton t-shirt and shorts as pajamas. She grabbed the shorts and the briefs underneath them and pulled them down to his ankles. "What..." was all he could say before her mouth closed over his cock. It became hard almost instantly. He moaned, "Ooohhhh." She released it from her mouth, moved into position on top of him, reached under her skirt to push her bloomers and thong to one side, and lowered herself onto his rod. "Ooohhhh my God," he said as he felt her tight, warm pussy engulfing him. She rode him slowly, siding up and down his dick, but even then it wasn't very long before he paused his moans and whispered, "If you don't stop I'm going to cum."

"Do it. Cum inside my magic cheerleader pussy," she encouraged. She put her hand over his mouth as he did exactly that, muffling his orgasmic outburst as he shot his jism up into her. He breathed heavily as he came back down from his peak. She climbed back off the bed and adjusted her garments back into place. "You're welcome," she said with a wink, then picked up her helmet and moved towards the window.

"Wait!" he said. "We, ah... in case we battle together again some time, we should have a way to communicate."

"This your phone?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she picked it up from the nightstand and tapped at the screen. When she was done she tossed it onto the bed. "Don't text or call me during school. Don't talk to me there, either. My kind and your kind don't associate with each other."

He picked up the phone and looked at the screen. She had added her number to his contact list. Jennifer. Her name was Jennifer. "Okay, but I was talking about communicating during..." he looked up. She was gone. "...battle," he finished. "Wow."

[Ending Theme: "Mechanical Love" by In This Moment]

"Debbie Woods here, reporting live from Bensonville. Holy shit, is Matt the luckiest guy alive or what? First he gets his own giant robot, then he loses his virginity to a magical girl cheerleader! Can he keep the streak going? Join us next time, as the battle takes to the air, and the sex gets even better, in Cheer Raider and SABRE Panther, Episode 2: 'The Radical Aerial Battle! She's Way More Experienced!' Go! Fight! Win!"

PervOtaku
PervOtaku
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4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

A great fun story hope to see the next chapter soon.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
4 stars

JC sounds like they may be able to help you out a bit. Like it was said before, the story has potential but the pace needs to slow down a little and it needs to be fleshed out. Dont feel like you have to rush the story, let it flow from one scene to the next. Maybe consider an edit/re-write for chapter 1

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Good idea

This story really has potential. With very few tweaks it could be great. JC knows what he is talking about, listen to his able advice. Waiting with interest for the next chapter.

JC_The_ContinuerJC_The_Continueralmost 7 years ago
A very solid 4

I like it, I like it a lot.

Some pointers if I may: To much detail in to short a space.

You've crammed all the info on the girl's outfit into a paragraph. spread that out over the story and you've got the details you need to get people imagination going, but without telling them every single detail.

Differ between dialogue and mental thought.

Use an italics, or * marks to suggest mental communication

Dialogue vs text

your dialogue flows like your text. people are lazy and use all the shortcuts of English when talking. bring them in a little bit more

Fast pace vs world building

you've got the pace really fast, jumping from one thing to the next where you've sorta thrown shit together. suddenly he has a younger brother neil, suddenly he has weapons like this, suddenly she has a voice inside her head, suddenly they're having sex.... to quick. slow it down, flesh it out, build it up to a reveal. lets discover it with the character rather than just say whats happening to him.

if you want more editing help, hit me up for collaborating

JC

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