Chicken Lilly Liver

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Heather thinks I'm a chicken. I'll show her!
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I've always enjoyed having a playful wife. Even after 30 years, she makes me laugh and smile whether with me or with our kids. She has a way about her that instantly draws people in.

This is not a "sex" story. Just one of our typical Sunday night adventures with a sexy twist. She got the best of me and created a great memory. I hope you enjoy.

--

"OH CRUD!" I screamed in my own head.

My eyes opened and I sat up in bed. Heather, startled and falling off me, panicked.

"WHAT?" she gasped ...

--

The night had started so peaceful. After our Sunday activities, we gathered our three young kids around, played games, watched a Disney movie, and relaxed. Soon it was "fight night", or more affectionately called "bedtime". The kids went to bed and were finally asleep.

Heather and I went to our bedroom, closed and locked the door, and settled in for "FRIGHT NIGHT". As soon as the door shut, clothes were flying in every direction until we were naked in bed.

We cuddled and kissed, groped and probed, nibbled and licked. And then we had fun.

As with most men, I fall asleep soon after a good orgasm. As usual, Heather, who was on top when we made love, was still lying on top of me slowly rotating and gyrating her hips to squeeze every last ounce of tingle from her orgasm. Sometimes she gets lucky and generates a second wave of fun.

It's usually not a long sleep but it's a very contented sleep. Not this night. This was SUNDAY night. This was the night before MONDAY. Monday was "Garbage Day". Something kicked in my brain.

"OH CRUD!" I screamed in my own head. My eyes opened and I sat up in bed. Heather, startled and falling off me, panicked.

"WHAT?" she gasped.

"I forgot to take the garbage cans to the street," I replied.

"SERIOUSLY? You scared the crap outta me!" she replied not ashamed to show her annoyance. "Take em out in the morning before you go to work."

"I'll forget. I'm stupid like that," I said.

"You're an idiot like that," she shot back with an annoyed smile.

"I know. But they're full and spilling over. I gotta get out there," I mumbled.

"FINE!" she snorted. "You've already ruined a perfectly good afterglow. Creep!" she smiled.

I sat up and started looking for underwear, pants, anything to put on. When the kids went to sleep and our door closed, we wasted no time ripping each other's clothes off. There was a blizzard of clothing strewn from the door to the bed.

"It's two in the morning," she growled. "Just go the way you are."

"I'm bare ass naked," I retorted.

"It's a cute ass," she purred. "Just go. I'll cover for you."

"No, I need something on," I protested.

"Chicken!" she challenged.

"Chicken? HA!" I shot back still looking for a cover.

She upped the challenge. "I dare ya."

"Oh you dare me? Like I won't?" I snorted.

"You're a chicken lilly liver!" she shot back.

OK, NO ONE CALLS ME A CHICKEN LILLY LIVER!! NO ONE!!

"Fine. I'll show you!" Challenge accepted.

We both got up and went to the door. I opened it and peeked out to make sure no kids were present. The coast was clear so we made our way, giggling, naked as jaybirds, out to the side door that opens into the carport where the garbage cans are. I opened the door and peeked out to be sure no one was out there.

Heather stood behind me, her hands on my arms, her firm, perky breasts burning holes in my shoulder blades, her flat belly warming my back, her hips and groin setting fire to my ass, playfully whispered, "You're not going to go, are you, CHICKEN!?"

"YES I AM!" I whispered back.

I get the feeling I'm being played. "Nah! She's not THAT clever," I tell myself. I'm an idiot like that.

Our house, while in the middle of town, was a bit secluded. The nearest streetlight is half a block away. The neighbor's house was right on top of us but there are no windows on the side facing ours.

Two big pine trees in our front yard covered enough of our house that most people would drive past without realizing a house was there. There's a row of high bushes on the neighbor's side that made our driveway quite private. But, there's a house right across the street with a perfect view of our house. All was clear.

I stepped out into the carport, slid around the car, grabbed both cans, tipped them up on their wheels and headed for the street. I've never been a "barefoot" kind of guy so every pebble I stepped on was sending waves of tickle pain through my body. I "hot footed" up the driveway as fast as I could.

I put the cans in the proper place and started my sprint back down the driveway. About halfway there, every stinkin' light on the outside of the house lit up. SHE SET ME UP! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

I ran back into the carport and grabbed the doorknob. LOCKED!

"CRAP! HEATHER! LET ME IN!" I wailed. I could hear her laughing on the other side of the door.

"What?" she said tormenting me. "Is someone out there?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU! LET ME IN!" I commanded.

"If you're gonna kill me, why would I let you in?"

Logical question. That doesn't happen often. I needed to think fast.

"Ok, I'll kill you with kisses and hugs. Let me in, please!" I begged.

"I don't believe you," she teased. "I think you want to kill me with a baseball bat."

Damn, she's smart and cute. I married a winner.

"FINE!"

I wasn't going to be out-smarted by this chick. I took off to the front door. I knew I had forgotten to lock it when we went to bed. When I got there, HA! Oh crap! She already locked it. She's DEVIOUS!

Now I'm on the front porch and a car is coming down the street.

"HEATHER, SOMEONE IS COMING! LET ME IN!" I pleaded.

"What's the password?" she teased.

Maybe I actually WILL kill her.

"PASSWORD?" I shrieked. "LET ME IN! I'M BARE ASS NAKED!"

"Nope," she giggled. "Try again."

The car was too close for me to do much of anything so I turned, in all my glory, faced the street, smiled and waved at the occupants as they drove SLLLLLLOOOOOWWWWWWLY by.

I turned back to the door. "Ok, you've had your fun. Let me in." I could still hear her giggling.

"What's the password?" she asked again.

I better think of something before I'm waving at police officers.

"I love you, sweetie, more than life," I lied, hoping she'd buy it so I could get on with my plans for the perfect murder.

The door lock clicked and opened. I stepped in and met my gorgeous wife in the entrance wearing nothing but a pretty smile. Looking at that heavenly body, my murder plans faded. She threw her arms around me and tried to kiss me with little success as we were both laughing.

"Funny!" I said dripping with sarcasm.

It was funny. She knew it. I knew it. And then the fun started again.

Playful wives make happy marriages.

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6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Funny

HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! she's sick

JazzdBoutU2JazzdBoutU2almost 9 years agoAuthor
Thanks

Good feedback, whoever you are. You could be right about adding more to the story. However, I usually write about actual experiences, so adding anything more would not have been real. For me, this is a stand-alone story in that there wasn't dialog before it happened that led to the actual event.

Being married for over 30 years, I've learned something very helpful from Heather. I'm a funny guy ... when I'm not trying to be funny. To try interjecting events or dialog that didn't actually happen probably would have backfired. It probably would have looked like I was trying too hard to get a laugh and fallen flat.

I will keep your advice in mind. I probably could have included other funny things that have happened in different situations that would build on our character development.

Thanks for the feedback.

chytownchytownalmost 9 years ago
Ha Ha***

If he did that she would want him to sleep on the sofa for the next month. Thanks for the read.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
OK, I liked this!

It is a realistic snapshot of some good natured and HEALTHY teasing. Part of the fun and frolic that is an integral part of a happy marriage.

Excellent!

I can see why you just wanted to keep this as a brief flash. Again, only needing to relate a one-off snapshot. However, am I too selfish to wish you had actually dragged this out a bit?

I think it would have been even MORE fun to read, if you had lengthend out some of the dialogue, and injected even more humor. If there had been some more of the playful teasing, early on. over dinner, and with the kids (you know, whispering in parent code:hoping it still goes over their heads, but fearful of how much longer before they decipher it anyway!). May be more detail on the loving, (helping out with the erotic content a little). But make no mistake, this is NOT a critique of the pacing. More like the suggestion that what you did, you did so well, that this story could have used more of it. Great humor IS a hard thing, and so I get you not wanting to push your luck, but this was a story that I wish had transcended being merely "cute". I was pushed just to the edge of a real belly laugh, and I felt a little disappointed with only managing a chuckle. Oh well....that is mostly on me, and no fault of yours...

Keep working on your dialoge, and keep up working with this theme in any case. Stories of GOOD marriages are far too rare ANYWHERE on this site. Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
You married a keeper!

I'm in love with your sexy wife. Do you share?

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