All Comments on 'Chicken Lilly Liver'

a good time will be had by all. TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm in love with your sexy wife. Do you share?

It is a realistic snapshot of some good natured and HEALTHY teasing. Part of the fun and frolic that is an integral part of a happy marriage.

Excellent!

I can see why you just wanted to keep this as a brief flash. Again, only needing to relate a one-off snapshot. However, am I too selfish to wish you had actually dragged this out a bit?

I think it would have been even MORE fun to read, if you had lengthend out some of the dialogue, and injected even more humor. If there had been some more of the playful teasing, early on. over dinner, and with the kids (you know, whispering in parent code:hoping it still goes over their heads, but fearful of how much longer before they decipher it anyway!). May be more detail on the loving, (helping out with the erotic content a little). But make no mistake, this is NOT a critique of the pacing. More like the suggestion that what you did, you did so well, that this story could have used more of it. Great humor IS a hard thing, and so I get you not wanting to push your luck, but this was a story that I wish had transcended being merely "cute". I was pushed just to the edge of a real belly laugh, and I felt a little disappointed with only managing a chuckle. Oh well....that is mostly on me, and no fault of yours...

Keep working on your dialoge, and keep up working with this theme in any case. Stories of GOOD marriages are far too rare ANYWHERE on this site. Thanks!

If he did that she would want him to sleep on the sofa for the next month. Thanks for the read.

Good feedback, whoever you are. You could be right about adding more to the story. However, I usually write about actual experiences, so adding anything more would not have been real. For me, this is a stand-alone story in that there wasn't dialog before it happened that led to the actual event.

Being married for over 30 years, I've learned something very helpful from Heather. I'm a funny guy ... when I'm not trying to be funny. To try interjecting events or dialog that didn't actually happen probably would have backfired. It probably would have looked like I was trying too hard to get a laugh and fallen flat.

I will keep your advice in mind. I probably could have included other funny things that have happened in different situations that would build on our character development.

Thanks for the feedback.

HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! she's sick