Child of the Theater

"Jesus."

"An appropriate comment considering the enormity of my disclosure and your continuing guilt."

"Augustine you are not supposed to know these things; you are not yet eighteen."

"Indeed, I have weeks to go. It's a bit of a worry for you isn't it Rick? Do you think I'm destined to implode?"

"What?"

"Oh dear. Good night Rick. No wait, your wife came up to me tonight. She'd lovely, quite beautiful Rick."

"What? Stephanie said she was off for a pee."

"Well she saw me and seized the moment but I assure you she didn't pee over me. She was lovely, I said she was beautiful and she said I was amazing and had given her the best experience of modern theater she'd ever had. I thanked her and she saw the media woman was frantically attempting to get me along to meet the press so your wife smiled and said she must let me go."

"Stephanie never mentioned that to me."

"She probably thought you wouldn't be interested to know she'd met me and perhaps thought that would disturb you if she had suspicious you were having an affair with me, that being a contentious issue between an attorney and client and what with me being a minor as well."

"Oh god. How can you think like that? If you do she probably does as well."

"Rick, keep calm. Do you want my honest opinion about that?"

"Yes."

"Her entire demeanor suggested she was talking to a sweet, innocence young girl who was her husband's youngest client. And that's all."

"Are you certain about that?"

"Yes, as certain as I can be. I have been taught to read people and analyze their emotions. I can honestly say there was not one iota of hostility surrounding your wife. She was 100% charm. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. I wonder if I can sleep now?"

"Oh here's something to keep you awake. Now I have met Christine and know I like her there's now way I can have sex with you."

"Thank Christ for that. Now I can sleep peacefully."

"Ha-ha you liar," Augustine said. "Men can't possibly be relieved to let one get away."

"How old are you? Good night Augustine, my youngest and my most fascinating client."

* * *

One Saturday Lisa took Augustine to New York for the day to meet a retired drama critic. The young girl went reluctantly saying she should be home studying for the following week's exams.

"You need a break."

"I do not."

"You are coming to New York if I have to drag you by the hair."

"Bitch."

Lisa laughed and said that was better.

They went up the first flight of stairs to Angela Cohen's apartment.

"I still don't know why we are here; this woman will be too old to help me"

"Nonsense and stop grumbling. I was right; you do need a break. Like you Mrs Cohen's entire life has been in theater, the difference being you are about to turn eighteen while she is eight-six I believe."

The wheezing woman wearing much too make-up and half the stock of a beads store round her neck invited them in.

"Thank you for agreeing to see us Mrs Cohen."

"It's my duty Lisa. I read the very favorable review of this young women's work in the Daily News and thought, "I wish that were me when I started out. What a magnificent start to a career in drama. Hello Augustine."

"Hi do I call you Mrs Cohen or Angela?"

Lisa was aghast but Mrs Cohen smiled warmly and said, "Whatever keeps you happy dear. You do look quite a lot like your mother."

"My mother?"

"Well your late mother."

"But how..."

"Before I became a theater critic I ran an acting studio. Your mother was one of my first students and I remember her well."

Augustine burst into tears and Lisa raced to hug her. "I apologize Mrs Cohen. This came as quite a shock to Augustine. She knows practically nothing of her mother's early life."

"Well my dear when you arrive in New York to study you must keep in contact with me. I shall introduce you to people who knew your mother very well, some carnally I daresay and some now very famous in American theater. Your mother was just a little better than an also-ran actress but because of her personality she remains my favorite student of them all in the nine years I ran my studio."

Wiping her eyes Augustine said, Mrs Cohen..."

"Just because I knew your mother you don't need to address me reverently my dear."

"Angela, when I come to New York I'll visit to hear you tell me what you can remember about my mother and to tell my your life's story."

"Yes certainly me dear. I can jog my memory from my diaries and she is mentioned in my unpublished memoirs because she was in my third intake of students and for the next three years was my most successful student and then I began attracting really star quality students because of my spreading reputation of being a quality tutor."

"Unpublished memoirs? But why are they unpublished?"

"Have you any idea how many people in this city attempt to have their memoirs published my dear? This is New York City."

"I like to read your manuscript Angela."

"Really? You could just be the person with the flair to make it sing. Let's see, perhaps you could live here with me and try rewriting my memoirs, but don't get too excited, it's only a thought at this stage. My late husband died wealthy so there would be money to pay you. Now let's try to establish the pathway for you. I'll be a little rusty but used to be very good at giving that level of advice. It is something fraught with danger. Oh I apologize, being young you won't know what fraught means because it's rarely used these days. My book is written in somewhat archaic language."

"In the context used it means charged with danger. Fraught is an archaic word in Dutch I think for freight."

"My goodness."

"Augustine is a very learned senior high school student Mrs Cohen."

"I'm beginning to suspect that. Lisa why don't you leave Augustine for a couple of hours and then return and we'll go out for lunch, probably to meet someone. Turn left when you leave this building and walk four blocks and you'll be in Fifth Avenue. Remember the name of this street and walk back four blocks."

When Lisa returned Mrs Cohen went off to make a phone call and to get ready.

Lisa was appalled. You now want to study film and TV drama? But you have been educated for live theatre?"

"Angela agrees with that and says it's wonderful foundation education, probably the best there is. She asked me a hundred questions and finally said I have visual qualities that are rare and I have the vitality of my mother and can acquire the brooding look that probably I inherited from my naughty father. She said if I train for film I'll be found and she'd bet her life on that."

"Well is very well for Mrs Cohen to say that but what if your destiny is on the stage, live?"

"Angela has pointed out my ambition is to act professionally and try to achieve a standard of excellent that will be publicly recognized. Then said she I had not defined where I wished to perform and I said, without thinking, anywhere and that's when she said in her opinion I should go for film, that I had all the time assumed it would be live theater simply because that's what I had been exposed to."

"Well there's no rush. We can talk and think about this darling. Perhaps we should seek another consultant."

"Why?"

"Well because... well because."

"Angela says my reason for coming to New York is to receive high quality training and to try to begin building recognition that I have talent."

"Well at least she's right about that."

"She also said once trained there is cross-over and pointed out some of the most famous actors in film also switch to life theater at times."

"Ah yes, well I have to say that sounds pretty convincing."

Angela took them to a restaurant set for four.

"Marco will be joining us and paying. He says that will be in lieu of a small fee for me spotting talent that he ought to consider. If he concurs with my opinion he'll recommend the next step of your budding career. My thinking a year of damn hard work ought to do it rather than burying yourself into full blown study Augustine because much of it will be irrelevant to your future career and will quickly date."

"Whatever you say Angela."

"Mrs Cohen I worry about what you are saying to Augustine. She is at an impressionable age."

"My dear relax. This is Augustine's really big chance and it comes because she is at an impressionable age."

Lisa hesitated and then smiled, "Yes of course."

Marco Giordano arrived and he quickly greeted the woman when introduced and then for at least five minutes his eyes never left Augustine's face. He then said, "Walk slowly over to that wall over there Augustine and then return, smiling at me, attempting different emotive expression. Do you know what I mean?"

"I do Marco. I realize you are not attempting to make my feel ridiculous in this filled restaurant."

He smiled and cupped his hands to rest his chin and waited.

Augustine minced over to the wall and returned, first smiling haughtily, then appearing ready to cry and then she licked her lips and pouted. Reaching the table she sprawled across it and grabbing Marco's with jacket by the labels said, greatly dramatically: "Well I haven't missed you Hubert. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. But it doesn't matter, because you don't care about me anymore anyway."

Marco gaped, swallowed and said, "Jesus."

Angela laughed and Lisa said to her, "What's the joke?"

"Augustine practically scared the crap out of Marco, a good Catholic who is married with three adult daughters. Your Augustine was quoting a famous line, playing Lolita."

People at nearby tables turned away laughing.

Straitening his tie and running a hand through his hair Marco said, "Thank you Augustine, beautifully performed."

"Angela you are totally correct. This girl has film written all over her. I'll call Tony Ricardo to take her in his September intake, even if it's full."

"But can you do that Marco?"

"I made Tony what he is today. Tony knows he can never repay me."

"Marco scouts talent but used to run an acting studio with his first wife," Angela explained. "They turned out Tony Ricardo into gaining rapid rise as a notable teenage film actor and he continued to star until he began putting on weight because of his riotous way of life and he lost motivation. He retained that by coaching others to reveal their talent. Filmmakers know his studio is not rated in the top five but they still come to Tony because they know he turns out the occasional stunner. That's correct isn't it Marco?"

"That explains it exactly Augustine. He will run with you from September thru to May and by then you won't believe how far you have advanced. You may even be pulling in paid work before you graduate, short-term stuff because he'll not allow you to break his coaching rhythm. You won't have to apply. Just write to him and send him your CV and record of your acting work. That's all and he'll ask for money and give you a starting date. You best be in early to find accommodation."

"Augustine will start off by living with me."

"Since when did you host a student?"

"This one is special. I coached her mom."

"Well don't we live in a small world?" Marco said, handing Augustine Tony Ricardo's business card.

In the bus returning to Pennsylvania Augustine kissed Lisa and said, "Thank you. Because of your effort it is beginning to happen for me."

"I didn't regard it as my duty."

"I know, you did it because you love me. Just me as a person. Have your own children Lisa before you run out of time."

"Well I-I don't know."

"Invite Roland to impregnate you; don't say a word about marriage. Just get pregnant first before worrying about outcomes otherwise it possibly won't happen."

"Oh god, my own mother should be counseling me about this, not you."

"Age doesn't real matter Lisa and you should believe me. It's the quality of advice that matters rather than how the person looks, how experienced they are or that you really don't know much about them. Think just how sound my advice sound to you; not how old I am."

"I-I guess you are right. I have to think."

"I'd do anything for you Lisa. I owe you a debt I can never repay. If it hadn't been for you I would have been in some clearing house for unwanted children."

"Not you darling, everyone would have wanted you."

"Oh yeah? God Lisa you are a hopeless romantic. Just make sure you show Roland you have talent and you care for him."

"Care for him?"

"God Lisa, you are so naïve. Don't you know men are grown up babies?"

At 2:00 am next morning Augustine had completed her package and had it couriered to Tony Ricardo.

Three days later, coming out of an exam, Augustine took a message and returned the call.

"Tony Ricardo?"

"This is your new student, Augustine Jack. I'm in the middle of exams so cannot come to New York to see you."

"My September course is full. If you don't comply with my request no way will I accept you."

"Fuck you Tony," Augustine shouted. She cut the call and rolled around on the school patio crying.

"Oh Augustine, the pressure of exams too much for you?" smiled a supercilious bitch from her class.

Augustine gritted and went home to begin revision for her next exam.

Next afternoon she opened a courier package from New York.

Tony Ricardo had scrawled a note, 'No one says Fuck You to Tony Ricardo and gets away with it. For some reason you have, bitch. Enclosed is your registration acceptance and a DVD that explains who we are, what we do, how we tailor for individual needs and other stuff. You are starting off as my most loathed student so do try to improve. I personally work heavily with students arriving with rave endorsements. I have been checking up on you. TR.'

"Oh Tony, you sound my kind of guy," Augustine said.

She posted him a note confirming her acceptance with a check with a note: As Vivian Leigh said in Streetcar Named Desire, 'I have always depended on the kindness of strangers' AJ.

Three days later she smiled at the reply: 'We prepare to welcome you here Miss Jack, unable to believe that someone of your extraordinary talent would come through our doors wishing to anoint our premises with your greatness, that is if we manage to successfully lead you forward without you tripping. Your humble servants from the Tony Ricardo Studio. Actually you sound a swell kid. TR.'

The following Saturday, night of the big post-exam party, Lisa went down to answer someone calling up to them. Augustine was filing her nails.

Lisa returned with a raven-headed woman.

"Augustine!"

"Oh Mrs Reid."

"Oooh, you remember me. I'm flattered. Please call me Stephanie or Steph if you wish."

"Hi Steph, I gather you have met my guardian Lisa Cobb."

"Yes Lisa and I have served on a couple of charity fund-raisers together but it is you I wish to see. My daughter aged eleven is interested in meeting you. She loves acting in playmaking and wonders about becoming a playwright. I know it is early days and the school is unable to advise her and says she should wait till she goes to college where career advice is available but she is impatient."

"Yes and I would be too. Where can I meet her?

"Look this is short notice but could you come for a cookout tomorrow at 4:00?"

"Yes of course."

"Oh you are so kind. So this is where you live. You two have made this place lovely."

"I've always lived here Steph but leave in September, perhaps forever. I am going to New York for training."

"Oh whereabouts, I come from Manhattan?"

"The Tony Ricardo Studio."

"But that's almost impossible to get in; only the very top people get in there and anyway it's for film students."

"Don't fret Steph, " Lisa smiled. "Augustine has been admitted. There are people who believe she possesses what it takes to go the full mile."

"Ohmigod."

Two hours later Rick called.

"What's this I hear? You told me you'd be going to New York for training but my wife says it's for training for movies and TV."

"Oh interested are you? When in my company please remember Steph has a name."

"So Steph already is she?"

"Don't be bitter Rick. You are the cause for me slipping through your fingers. You allowed her to get at me."

"That's ridiculous."

"And here was I brought up to believe attorneys had brains and were trained to ensure they always look at the big picture."

"Augustine, I'm warning you. You won't be able to talk to men in New York like you do to me."

"Don't worry. When I arrive in NYC I will play the innocent. Judging by what I've seen on TV and in film, the city already has an overload of high-octane, loud-mouth women with artificially colored hair."

"So you think appearing to be a dumb blonde will get you somewhere?"

"More like an artless blonde with unrevealed substance I should think. By why don't you get back to making money Rick? I'm seeing you tomorrow late afternoon."

"Where?"

"At you place for a cookout. God don't you and Steph communicate? Oh I'll drop by Monday to assign you power of attorney to sell $15,000 of my Goldsboro shares to be placed in my bank account to leave me comfortable in New York."

"Why sell now?"

"Because the price will surely fall during summer due to a decline in interest in gold shares. Don't you know anything?"

"Christ Augustine, you would have made a great attorney. In this law firm we'd assign you in a flash to deal with difficult clients as you'd have natural affinity with them. Why has Steph invited you over?"

"Practice good communication darling. Ask your wife."

* * *

As a result of starring at that cookout, Rick and Stephanie's daughter Olivia was smitten by Augustine while her younger brother Anthony found the visitor a bore, attracting his sister's total attention like that. Augustine still had time to talk to her hosts and Step's fascinating parents and when the parents and Augustine were leaving Steph said, "I'll give you a call about lunch later in the week Augustine."

"Right."

Step's mom Sara Burton said, "Why don't you invite this amazing young woman to join us at the lake for July the Fourth and stay several days."

"Great idea mom," Steph said, "and Augustine I'll also invite Lisa. We can confirm details when we meet next week."

A surprising friendship developed between Augustine and Steph who was thirty-six, two years younger than Rick. They met once a week and often Augustine went to their home for lunch or dinner on a Sunday.

Lisa didn't go to the lake. Instead she went to Chicago with Roland Miller. He was anxious for Lisa to meet his parents. From there they planned to go to Baltimore to stay a few days with her parents. Lisa was ever so happy about how Roland was attaching like a limpet to her. Augustine slept down in the store whenever Roland decided to stay.

The only time Augustine began to say Roland could move in when she left she was not allowed to complete. Lisa slapped her hands over her ears and shouted rather panicky, "Don't, don't. Do nothing, say nothing that might break the spell."

One Saturday afternoon after her graduation with distinction, winning the Blithe Andrews memorial award for acting, the school's $1000 drama scholarship payable only for drama studies and the English literature prize, Augustine was painting a wall in the theater café with Roland.

She asked straight out, "Will you move in when I move out?"

"If I'm invited, yes. Definitely yes. You won't mind will you?"

"God no. I want it to happen and Lisa wants it to happen even more than me but she's nervous it won't happen."

"Ouch. What do you suggest?"

Augustine told Roland than Lisa was a little nervy about it so the best tactic would be to drop hints but not to force it along. "The best time to hint is right after fucking."

"Augustine!"

"What?"

Roland sighed and said it didn't matter. He turned away and she heard his muffled laughter. She smiled and thought that was my gift to you darling Lisa."