All Comments on 'Chrissy and Tara Ch. 01'

Really good. Most enjoyable. Looking forward to the next instalment!

I also liked your story, and will be watching for chapter 2!!!

Great start.

This is well written with good character development. Looking forward to Chrissy and Tara's first night together!

I really like the build-up you started, and yes you should keep this story going, this could be a good series

The story has possibilities but it depends on your ability to tell and write a good story. A bit of romance is not a bad thing and it will help to extend your story beyond one page as long as it is interesting and holds our attention. If you want some ideas, try reading some of the stories written by Scattysue.

The heading kind of says it itself, try to work on fixing up the last draft before submitting it and just quickly go through the work, paragraph by paragraph (ex. in paragraph 6 you had the comma towards the end breaking up the sentences ",but friendly, voice..." that shouldn't have a comma there) Making sure your commas are good and that their are no run-on sentences, If you're wondering why I'm picky about grammar, it's because I'm a writing major and write stories and books as well and you have to be able to proofread the work before you submit it. A a matter of fact I want to write something on here to improve my romance scenes in my books because they're few and far from average, not even good.

Great work, I’ve read all your stories and enjoyed them. I hope you keep it up with more stories in these lines or new stories if that’s fresher and easier.

and love she has lush muff, not shaved...