All Comments on 'Christmas in the Middle of Nowhere'

I have to agree with the others... at least the others that are not Anonymous. I would never listen to a critic that hid behind the Anonymous identity. I did finish the story this far but it was a chore. The syntax was the worst thing for me. Maybe you were writing the way that you thought that your characters would talk... Not a very good effort, but keep trying.

I agree with the other comments that you have good ideas but could stand to get some help with the flow of your narrative and the conversations.

Keep writing, though....

... difficult do read. I only made it through half of the story before having to stop. Please use an editor for your endeavors and please keep on writing

I ,agree,You, suck, never ,got ,thru, the, first, page, comma glad, nobody, farted, or that , would,have ,been ,part, of ,the, story, also,,,

See it's not just me, how many times have other readers told you the same thing and you still persist on posting your stories without one. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

all these critics telling you to do something but not step up to the plate to help.Jerks

I admit I am not good to offer my services, but I do have a suggestion, a trick used by professional proofreaders. Read your story backwards one word at a time. That will allow to find miss used words as well as awkward spots. That should help you over a lot of their unhelpful nit-picking ways

You most definitely NEED a proofreader, especially one with an English/writing background. Such help would reduce your story by 20% to 25% by eliminating duplication of words/phrases that cause readers to lose track of the story line. This help would definitely improved sentence structure and wording and improve story flow. With a number of readers telling you the same thing, why not take their advice and counsel? It is obvious that you need help.

Just because you can put words on "paper/screen" does not make you an author. It takes a total effort to make an author and if you refuse to take advice and use it, you will never become an author.

I. for one. choose to forgo any additional of your submissions, and this is the first I've ATTEMPTED to read. I stopped on the first page.

Think for a moment. Although you may not have been inundated with negative comments, how many others simply got fed up with the constant repetition of like same phrases and words in the same sentence and just stopped reading and made no comment,

"Hi Johnny, this is your mother here calling..." Because that's just how a mother would speak. NOT.

Some of the worst dialogue of all time. Don't give up your day job for an erotica career!!

"Christmas In The Middle Of Nowhere:" - In the movie 'Patton' shortly after Supreme Allied Commander (SAC) Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower had recently promoted General Omar "Brad" Bradley over General George S Patton Jr, "Brad" is attempting to explain to Patton why "Ike" had promoted General Bradley over Patton, "Brad" says to his long-time friend, "George, you just DON'T KNOW WHEN to shut-up, George!!!"

A similar trait is used in law, when one is a witness in a trial, where the witness is told many times by the Defense Attorney, "make sure you (as a witness) use minimum words--no more than necessary--to answer (to testify) any question." Remember, "George" you just don't know when to shut-up" means don't use more words than necessary to get your point across!! Ever.....little.....detail.....is.....not.....necessary!

On the creative side, you, 'HankWilliams1956' have good ideas for story themes. All good stories have three (3) main themes, being a Beginning, a Middle, and an End. Using ingenuity and writer's talent to develop ideas around those themes...before starting to write, will improve most writer's abilities and concepts of any story. Talking with other writers and authors can garner methods and ways to write good stories. The biggestand hardest accomplishment of being a writer/author, is the willingness of wanting to write! After you've accomplished willingness, your ability and techniques are the things that need the most attention and development.

Have you ever heard of a editor