City of Angels Ch. 04

They had moved to Craig's large balcony and were now standing and facing each other. In the distance, the fire had reached its peak. Huge columns of flame emitting showers of sparks were exploding on the horizon. Evan glanced at it, distractedly, thinking it looked a chain of erupting volcanos. He stupidly thought of Mt. Vesuvius and the buried city of Pompeii.

"Did it ever occur to you while you were partying your ass off that I needed you, Craig? Do you have any idea what the last week has been like for me?"

"It's been tough for me, too."

"But—"

Craig held up his hands to ward off the explosion. "I know. I know it's not the same. I know what you went through was worse, but I wasn't just sitting home watching TV! I had a very very difficult week."

"Oh really?" Evan said, the bitter sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Difficult partying with your friends, getting drunk?"

"Evan, you don't know what it's been like for me. Some things . . . happened. Sometimes that's how I need to cope."

Evan seemed not to have heard him. "I come back here tonight needing you, desperate to see you, and I find you laughing your ass off in front of a bunch of assholes."

"I didn't know you were coming up, and those assholes are my friends."

"What—Larry and Troy? The 'West Hollywood' crowd? These people are all so fucking shallow!"

"Why is this bothering you all of a sudden? You never complained before."

"Because . . . I don't appreciate you calling me at my dad's deathbed and hearing you partying, that's why."

"I told you . . . you don't know the whole story . . . of what happened that day, what I went through. What are you really mad about, Evan?"

Evan stopped to look at Craig. It was if he had read his mind.

Evan sputtered. "I . . . I . . . I needed you! And you weren't there for me."

"Is that it? Or are you mad at me for having gay friends?"

"No! When have I ever implied that?"

"You are right now."

"That's not it. That's not fair."

"It seems like it, to me. You're angry about something, and I don't think it's what you're saying it is."

Evan moved closer to him. "These are the people you call your 'friends?' These stupid, shallow idiots?"

"I can't help it that you're so in the closet, Evan."

"WHAT?"

"I can't help that I've been out so much longer than you. I have a lot of gay friends."

"Oh—really? The same gay friends who are too scared to want a boyfriend? The same ones who just want to fuck you? Or be some kind of . . . boy toy or something? You are really hot, after all."

"They're not all like that! They're GAY. They're OUT. They're part of my life, part of who I am," Craig nearly shouted.

Evan was standing so close to Craig. They were staring at each other and breathing heavily.

"They're 'gay.' Really. What do you know about it, Craig, I mean, really know about it?"

Now it was Craig's turn to sputter. "Excuse me? Mr. 'I just had my first kiss?'"

The anger that had flashed up between them seemed to come out of nowhere, out of the dark night, like a flash fire, suddenly and totally unexpected but gathering heat. They both wondered why but were totally swept up in it.

"Yes, what do you know about it, Mr. 'Never been in a real relationship?' What do you know about love?"

"And you do?" Craig shouted back.

Evan grabbed Craig by both sides of his face, staring fiercely into his eyes.

"What do you really know about loving a man? About loving a man so much it tears your heart right out of your chest to see him in pain? I'm not talking about a crush, or a little fuck, or . . . or . . . chasing after some unavailable asshole. I mean LOVING a man. With a love that is as much pain as happiness. So that when he leaves you . . ." Evan eyes began to fill with tears and his voice broke, "When he leaves you, he takes your soul with him. He takes everything, and you may never recover. What the fuck do you know about that? Can your 'friends' understand that?"

Craig pushed Evan's hands off his face and started pacing. Evan just watched him.

Craig finally faced him. "Do you know what I went through? Why I started drinking? Because I did it. I DID it. I just scored the biggest fucking deal to go down in this town in a long time. Me. It's all ME. And you know what I did? I drove like a complete psycho all over Los Angeles, for hours and hours, like a crazy person, and you know why? Because YOU WEREN'T THERE. Because you didn't want me to be with you. Because you were preoccupied. Because this means absolutely nothing without you. I nearly had a fucking heart attack when you didn't answer my texts. That's why I threw this party. Because if I didn't, I'd probably be lying in a ditch somewhere. So don't tell me I don't fucking love you."

Evan was taken aback. "What do you mean, 'Because I didn't want you to be with me?'"

"Well you didn't exactly ask me to join you in Laguna, did you?"

"But—" Evan sputtered again. "That's where I live. I mean, that's where I'm from. My family . . ."

"Yeah, and what? You don't want them to meet your homo boyfriend?"

"No! I—I—you were busy!"

"Oh, so now you understand me being busy with my own life?"

"No, I—Jesus, Craig, why are you laying this on me now? I can't—I haven't—I haven't told any of them. You're making too big a deal about it."

This time Craig came up and held Evan's face in his hands. "When are you going to face being gay, baby?"

Craig couldn't have predicted he would say this. It just came out, because of his relaxed inhibitions. It wasn't even until he said it that he realized he'd been thinking it all along.

"I have!" Evan stuttered. "It . . . took me a while. I'm not denying it. And what about our trip? That wasn't gay enough for you?"

"It was . . ." Craig said softly. He put one hand on Evan's chest, right over his heart. "But there's something missing. In here. Deep inside here, where no one can see it. Only you."

Evan gazed at Craig, only barely understanding what he meant.

He only knew he loved him, more than ever, and in a second his anger was gone.

Evan grasped his head in his hands and kissed him hard on the lips. He began pushing him towards the bed, murmuring, "What happened to you, baby? Why didn't you call me! I would have come up from Laguna that day."

"Oh, fuck, let's not talk about that now!" Craig exclaimed, as he frantically pulled up Evan's shirt.

Craig hurriedly undressed him, free with drunken lust, and pushed Evan flat on his back on his bed.

"Lie back," he ordered him.

Evan was enthralled with the change in Craig's demeanor. He didn't know he was about to be masterfully seduced by an experienced man intent on seducing him.

Craig was still quite drunk, but he knew what he wanted. And he knew what Evan needed and wanted.

He straddled Evan's chest, and brought his mouth close to Evan's full, sensuous lips.

"I made millions today. I did it. And I'm letting myself feel good about it. Just tonight. Just tonight, I can have whatever I want, be whatever I want. And I. Want. You. I want you, baby." He slowly brought his lips closer to Evan's. "Open your mouth," he whispered. Evan opened his mouth and Craig teased him, refusing to fully kiss him. He hovered over him, his lips barely grazing him, gently tracing and nipping, while he continued to keep Evan's hands above his head.

"You really never thought about men? Never, hmmmm?"

Evan whimpered helplessly beneath him, feeling his cock swell up and push against Craig's cheeks.

"You never dreamed of the taste of a man's lips . . .?" Craig said, as he finally kissed him, pressing his warm, soft mouth onto his.

Evan moaned in needy pleasure, overwhelmed and on fire.

"Remember what you said the first time you kissed me? Right down there on my lanai?"

"You were so fucking hot that night. When I saw you pull up on your bike I thought I would pass out. You were so strong and confident, so sure of yourself, but so nice. I didn't know . . . I wasn't sure . . . but when you agreed to stay, oh then I knew . . ."

"I knew, baby . . . and I wanted it. I thought about you, watched you, every single second until we were alone."

Evan whimpered beneath him, desperate to get his hands free and run them over Craig's ass, but Craig held him tight to the bed.

"Remember what you said?' Craig whispered. "I could feel that beautiful cock of yours so hard—so hard—against my thigh. You were pushing it into me, letting me feel it, wanting me to feel it, as you said 'No, I'm not gay.'"

"I'm not gay," Craig whispered again, so seductively. "No . . . I've never wanted to fuck a man, or love a man, or come in a man's mouth. . ."

"No . . . " he whispered over and over as his lips opened Evan's, slowly, hotly, lazily, refusing to give him his tongue.

Evan was moaning and sweating, all traces of the past week forgotten, his worries and pain about his father pushed from his mind. There was nothing in the world now but Craig, the night, and the fires burning out of control.

"Tell me again," Craig whispered, just touching the tip of his tongue into Evan's mouth. He snaked it partway in, licking his bottom lip, dancing it around the opening.

"But this time, be honest."

Evan whined, whispering hoarsely words Craig could barely understand.

"I want you," Evan gasped. "I want you, Craig, I want you, I want you. . ."

Craig stilled his nearly incoherent babbling with his mouth, opening his lips wide and drawing Evan's tongue into his, sucking on it, swirling around it, sensuously licking and tasting as he freed one hand and let it snake down to Evan's raging hard erection.

Evan couldn't stand it one second longer. He used his powerful arms and legs to flip Craig over and pull him into a tight, frantic embrace.

+++

The night was long and hot. In their bed, Evan and Craig made passionate love—hotter, better, sweeter, more intimate than anything they had experienced yet.

Evan remembered it later only through flashes, like lightning strikes in a dark room. Craig's tongue, Craig's wonderful, masterful, experienced mouth evoking shouts and moans as Evan crushed his hair in his hands, sweating, begging him not to stop.

Sweat oozing down Craig's back onto soaked sheets as Evan fucked him, seemingly able to go forever, not wanting it to end.

Slippery hands pumping and squeezing hard muscle, edging each other, teasing, releasing at the last moment, only to suck and touch each other towards another peak.

His sweet boy, so different. Aggressive, eager, supremely confidant, enflaming Evan's cock again and again. They wrestled each other, flipping roles and positions, Evan for the first time letting himself be passive and controlled by Craig's hands and mouth, letting him set the pace.

Evan coming, both of them coming together, as their fingers tightly interlaced and Evan crushed Craig's palms with his own.

Their love, denied for more than a week, threatened, tested, made them inexhaustible with each other.

Their hearts and minds twisted together, knotted around an erotic core, as tightly as their bodies, never letting go, only growing closer and closer.

Evan felt like he was making love with his own gay self.

Craig forgot entirely about pleasing another person. He stepped fully into his truest being as a god of sex, burning with unapologetic lust, strong and powerful in joyful abandon, leading the way, showing Evan how much more there was to learn and feel and experience. Evan was absolutely in awe of him.

When they finally flopped onto their backs, their hearts pounding, drenched in sweat, unable to go again, the sun was just coming up.

They drifted off to sleep holding hands. No words were necessary. They knew they had done it. Their love was stronger, consecrated with sweat and cum, blessed by wild cries. They knew they were more devoted to each other than ever, and that they could face whatever challenges tomorrow held.

+++

The next morning, lying in bed, spooned tightly together, Craig murmured, "You feel that?"

The slightest breeze was wafting in through the window, but it was cool and moist. The ocean was awakening, finally pushing back the heat.

"Yeah," Evan said. "Smells like rain."

+++

Hours later, at dusk, they were sitting on Craig's lanai enjoying the cool-down. They'd gone out for a late brunch at a Malibu diner, feasting on huge plates of huevos rancheros. They knew they had things to talk about, but they kept their conversation light—Craig filled Evan in on all the mundane details of his work while Evan told him about his visit home. But they smiled a lot and touched and held hands more than usual, conveying to each other a new and comfortable intimacy. They spent the rest of a lazy Sunday afternoon drinking coffee and talking and relaxing. Now they were sacked out on deck chairs, completely sated and happy.

"So I was thinking . . ." Evan said, reaching out to touch Craig's thigh. "I'd like to invite a friend over."

Craig smiled. "Good idea. Are you talking about that guy from the station—Andy?"

"Yes. He told me he wants you to introduce him to 'some of your friends.'"

"Sure. Anytime. But I think I'm kind of partied out at the moment."

"Well why don't we just have him over for drinks?"

"Of course. Next weekend, maybe?"

"Or sooner. I have the whole week off. Maybe he's free."

Craig rolled over on his side to face Evan, smiling into his brown eyes. "I think that's a fantastic idea."

Evan smiled back at him. "Alright, then, I'll give him a call."

In bed, later, after another session of lovemaking, Craig lay nestled against Evan's arms and they talked quietly in the dimly-lit room. The intensity of their argument and the things they had yelled were on their minds.

Craig said, "So who were you talking about?"

Evan knew what he meant, but he didn't say anything.

"At first I thought you meant your dad, but . . . it wasn't just him, was it?"

Evan let out a tense sigh. He didn't want to go there, but he knew he had to. He ran his hand through his dark curly hair. "Yeah . . ."

"It's . . . Chad, isn't it? That guy, your friend? Did you see him last week?"

"Yes. He came by, two times, wanting to talk." Evan held back the detail of Chad informing him he was gay.

Craig rubbed Evan's strong arms, which were holding him so closely.

"You have to face it, babe."

"I know, and I don't want to . . . which I guess makes me a hypocrite, lecturing you about love . . ."

"Are you still in love with him?" Craig asked.

Evan was amazed that Craig could be so blasé and accepting about it. He did not sound threatened or worried in the least.

"No. . . I don't think so . . . I was never consciously aware of anything like that . . ."

"Well you need to find out."

"But Craig, it doesn't bother you?"

"Yes and no. I guess there's a remote chance you could fall into each other's arms. But I think it's something different. I just have a feeling. I think it's what you need to do, for yourself."

Evan hugged him tighter. "No. I'd be doing it for us. If you think this will make us closer."

"I do. I know so. Because Evan, it will get to be a strain. I can't be everything to you. I can't be your only path to who you are. I just can't. It will start to stifle me."

"You're right," Evan whispered. "I think that's why, one reason why, I was angry with you."

"It's ok. It's ok."

Craig's voice had changed, and he seemed to be thinking of something else entirely.

"What is it?" Evan asked him.

"Nothing. I just got this feeling. I think I may be ready to face my dad."

"Well that's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Whew," Craig said, shaking his head as if he just couldn't believe it.

"I'm a little surprised." Craig said. "I thought I'd feel so different. That day, when you weren't there, when I first got any real confirmation, I fell apart. I totally fell apart. I thought that's what would happen again, and it almost did. But . . . I'm not. I'm ok. I'm doing ok. "

He turned to face Evan. He looked at him, and caressed his face, as if seeing him for the first time.

"It's all because of you. I can, because this is real. We're real."

"Yes, we are."

"And I love you."

Evan kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you, too. And I know you can do it. Whatever it is you need to do."

"I love you," Craig whispered, holding him tighter.

He could hear Evan speaking quietly against his shoulder.

"It's a good idea. Because I might not always be there for you, baby. I might not always be able to be the strong one."

"I know" Craig said, through a few tears. He held Evan tighter. "As long as you'll always be my daddy."

Evan spoke closely into his ear. "I'll always be that. No matter what happens."

+++

The next few days were quiet, in their house and all over the city, which was slowly recovering from the massive firestorms.

Evan called down to Laguna and heard good news about his father; he was awake and alert and talking. He made plans to go down there over the weekend. He had the week off, so spent every day with Craig.

With not much going on, they fell into a rhythm of taking walks on the beach in the morning and going out to eat at night, searching out Japanese and Thai restaurants. Then they'd go home and make love. Each day was perfect, falling asleep and waking up in each other's arms and never being that far from a caress or a touch or a kiss.

Towards the end of the week Craig decided to visit his sister in the valley, while Evan and Andy had made plans. He was just getting ready to leave when Andy knocked on the door.

"Heeeyy," said Craig, as he welcomed him in. "Nice to see you!"

"Hi, Craig. Thanks for having me over."

"Of course. Evan's out on the lanai. I was going to fix you guys some drinks before I headed out. Sorry I can't stay."

"Oh, that's ok."

Craig took a moment to really look at Andy. He was very cute, in a boy next door kind of way, with warm hazel eyes and soft brown hair. But his body was really the main draw. He was amazingly ripped, tight, and beefed up—which was somewhat at odds with his gentle demeanor and looks but together they made a luscious combination. Craig could see a rippling six pack under his khaki t-shirt, which was tucked into cargo shorts. He slid one hand up his strong, powerful forearm and up to his bulging biceps.

"What do you do? You lift weights?"

Andy blushed. "I spend a lot of time at the gym. Blowing off steam, I guess."

"Come on, Evan's out here."

Craig kept up the flirtatious touching, wanting him to feel completely relaxed. He noticed Andy was immaculately shaved and groomed, as if he'd spent hours getting ready. What a doll, he thought, as he racked his mind thinking for someone to introduce him to.

Andy took a seat sitting backwards with legs spread around a chair as he chatted with Evan about work, mostly discussing all the assholes they knew, while Craig fixed their drinks. When he came back out he set the tray down and immediately said, "So Evan tells me you're single and want to meet someone."

"Jesus, Craig, a little subtlety, perhaps?" Evan exclaimed.

"What? I just want to help."

"It's ok!" Andy practically shouted. "I don't mind."

"Alright well let me think about it. Have fun you guys. I have to get going." Craig leaned down to kiss Evan before he left. "Bye baby. I'll see you soon," he whispered.

Andy simply could not help staring at them, drinking in the tenderness they expressed towards each other. He was really quite envious.

"So what do you want to do? You hungry?" Evan asked.

"Actually, yes. You want to catch lunch somewhere?"

"I'd love to. You like seafood? Craig and I go to this little place down on the beach."

"Well I don't have too much time. Why don't we go to the Getty? It's like two minutes from here. I know they have a great restaurant."