All Comments on 'City of Brotherly Love'

5 for effort and content.

Very HOT start to a long weekend......... nice bods on all 3 and of course James being so young; can do what he never let himself do until now in his life. Let the girls teach him and let the 3 way action continue. Rose can get to experience what she's always wanted and so can Paige; but not all the same kind of things. Maybe, Rose and Paige will stay with him beyond the weekend. Very nice Thanks.

Too bad, a little fast, could have used some more background of him and Rose and him popping he cherry.

By the way Bonnie you got a smoking hot body

This is my first erotic story ever written. Good or bad let me know what you think, especially what could have been improved.

four from me, it would have worked without the cancer

Does he have 8 inches or 9? His dick length changed in the middle of the story. If you add a second chapter, slow your story down and make your writing sound less like a 15 year old. It's a good premise, but the whole cancer thing is ridiculous. After 9 months of treatment he would have no hair and have lost most of his muscle definition.

Great start. I give it 5 stars. Waiting for next chapter. Thanks

Well done! You could leave it there or take it on three or four more chapters. Like where is the cancer treatment going? Is the Navy going to discharge him or reassign him if the treatment makes him cancer free? Will he and Paige marry, move into civilian life with Rose as a second wife? Does he breed them both? Your grammar is great and your editing is one of the best I've seen. Keep writing.

XYZ