All Comments on 'CityWolf II -Martha's Cold Night'

it is too bad that Martha doesn't have a friend with a shotgun. everyone could learn a lesson from this.

What a horrible story. Although, I suppose it is just typical of what we see of the bullying in the US?

Good storyline, poorly written. It reads like a police report.

You obviously have good ideas. You just need to learn how to expand on them. You need to make the reader picture the scenes the way you see them. Basically, you need to be more descriptive.

Can she like pull out a fucking shotgun and shoot the bitches???

would like that to happen to me, except not in the cold, butt with all those cocks using mi holes, and the pleasure of honey pot licking.

I would hope that you would write a follow-up story that has Martha coming back and exacting sweet revenge on all of the people that raped her and pissed on her including the police and any family that they all had. It would be wonderful to find out that Martha had a lot of time to figure out just how she would gain the retribution that she doles out to every one of the girls and boys that humiliated and degraded her that one night. Oh, there would be many ways to hurt a lot of people. Too many ways but would love to read someone's attempt. Pain over several days would help Martha gain her self-respect.

What the hell? She goes through all that and it's a "life ruined, she's miserable for the rest of her life" Bad End? How is anyone supposed to masturbate to this when it makes their dick sad?

It doesn't help that this reads like some kind of clinical thesis. You need to work on your descriptions. I don't even have any idea what the protagonist is supposed to look like.

It's almost like you saw everyone whining about the erotica on here not being "realistic" enough and decided to take their (bad) advice too far...