All Comments on 'Close To You'

Too many spelling errors I missed. I thought I knocked a few out, but not enough apparently. Stupid mobile writing, crap.

You need to check the ages. If she was 10 the first time her met her then even if he was an infant she could only be 29 when he is 19. More than likely he would have been around 4 so she would only be 6 years older than he is.

Other than that good story.

I may have miscalculated, there. I knew I got a few things wrong. Thanks, Anonymous.

When Amelia and Jessica Anderson's mother, mrs. lake got preg. the second time, one of the first two daughters must have been adopted. How can beer containers be thrown on the ground, while sitting in a living room? Three pages of this was all I could take. Get an editor.

I'll be scanning through this and trying to take care of all the mistakes. My sincerest apologies. I was trying to keep an eye out for any mistakes I made, but I guess I missed even more than I even realized. There was a fee things I took out, and re-worked it with some new sentences, so that's where a lot of the mistakes probably stemmed from.

The ages don't make sense.

His older brother is 37 and he is 19?

18 years between them? Old enough to be his dad.

Then the sisters.

Sure are a lot of long gaps between children in that town.

Most parents would want to be done raising children by then rather than starting with diapers again.

It's supposed to be like that. I thought it'd be different if the characters were all a lot older than each other. So I decided to go with that idea. I know it's bizarre, but it was just how I wanted to do things.

I didn't get halfway through the first page. Too detailed and then characters pop up out of nowhere. Who the hell is Mrs. Lake? Who the hell is Amy? If it is Amelie...I thought she was dead...sheesh. Who are the thugs? Who gives a damn about what you are buying...dreadful.

Too detailed? Dude, I wrote this as an emotional story about two friends who come together, be there to comfort each other, and admit their feelings. Also, if you read the story, Amy is Amélie's sister who she never got because and died before she was born. I know I made some mistakes, but it being too detailed makes it bad? I don't understand..

Yes, u need an editor particularly when u mispell in the response to comments. I can help u if u wish. Your content still survives the errors. Keep writing.

You lost me part way down page 1 and I gave up entirely at the page break because it's not clear who you're talking about. Writing yourself a cast sheet would do a world of help. Please, once you have the character names, relative ages, and relationships sorted out in your head, edit & post an update and you should see a lot better response.

Good story. I would like to read more about them if you play on making a sequel.

I get the age difference between the brothers, my dad is 18 years older than his brother, but as to the rest of the story, I agree with all the comments, it's not just spelling errors, maybe get this taken down then really work on it, there are far too many errors and blaming it on mobile writing is getting old on this site, far too many are using that as an excuse.

Believe it or not, making mistakes on mobile is a lot easier than you think. I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm stating fact. If I was on a computer you'd see just how much I could improve.

Was this really six pages? I had to stop after his detailed account of the crush he had. The language was a little too intimate to be describing a crush on a . prepubescent child. Very creepy in tone. I don't want to read a child being called "angelic" or have "creamy lips". Again;veeeeery creepy.

Even tho this was a great story it had some plot problems,like how at the beginning it described how Jessica was roughly 10 years old,but Cole as younger,but by the end of the story it made Jessica out to be pushing 40 while Cole as 19 or so. I just wish the author could have remained consistant.But still a decent story.

Didn't bother finishing page 1. Story is incoherent. Too many characters with negligible context. Doesn't seem worth the effort.

Didn't finish, didn't score.