All Comments on 'Closet Case'

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Reads like it was translated from Urdu or Swahili. First into Chinese, then English, back to Urdu, then Chinese and English again. By a robot!

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Very poorly written, utterly sexless, (there's sex in there, but it's devoid of any "sexiness"), and a complete waste of time.

Drunken seduction of an older woman. Yeah!

You have been attacked by a virus called vindictivepathetica... assholes who are alive and apparently increasing on Lit. The opinion coming from Anonymous in Boston is largely destructive and self-boosting, aimed at crushing you and the rating given of 00 says it all...the word for it is bullshit. You kill the virus by ignoring its insolence. However a wee bit of criticism amid the ranting heap of crap rings true. Despite the descriptiveness of your writing and obvious worthy attempt to capture mood it lacks passion, reading more like a monologue. I recognize that as I tend to write that way myself. Even so, you don't have to have your hero waving a 12-inch dick or the heroine dripping a bucket load of cum to capture the interest of many readers. Just inject a little more passion that comes through vivid dialogue and you may find the good comments coming (no pun intended. And remember if you ain't American and don't write America the bigots/rednecks will become a virus out to slam and slander you. Whatever you do don't write to appease them. Write to please yourself to deliver what YOU wish to deliver and aim to improve in each posting. You will read some criticism that may assist you. Good luck.

Hey it was fine. Ignore the Yankee from MIT. Just keep writing, and your writing improves. An enjoyable effort.

Stop trying to be "Literary" and write like a real person.

Impossible to wade through.

"Gently cringed" - WTF?

And did your dialog model come from Jane Austen?

but I couldn't get through it. Reads like some of the sentences were cut and pasted out of order. If you enjoy writing, keep it up but please get someone to profread for you.