All Comments on 'Clueless Camping'

Sweet and educational. I love when you describe Denmark. Good story.

Not a category I read, but I wanted to support the other Earth Day contest entrants.

Good story and excellent nature tie in. The characters were believable and likable. The back story has some issues, I think more info would have helped, but overall I scored it a 4 because I enjoyed it and liked the characters. Nice little story of the discovery of new love. Well written.

For a moment there I was starting to wonder if his father was Liam Neeson. Lol. That he has to run all the way to Denmark felt off, but then I began to really enjoy the story.

The landscape you're describing is very different from my own home but I could see it clearly. Good job

MST

This story took me to places I will most likely never see. Thanks for the details. I actually know someone who suffers from the same thing and he is also pale tired weak but thin and frail and they don't recognise this as a illness here where we live. He has to travel to the usa for treatment. Would have loved more on the the fight with dad ? Why it happened but I guess it was because the brother is gay too? Oh ya and how do you turn off GPS in the car? Isn't it always on in newer models? I don't know. Would love to read more. What happens to him does he stay there forever? I imagine they live happily ever after making love next to beech trees and offering many loads to the gods ..? Happy f'n birthday & earth day

It seemed as if you ended it so abruptly. I'd really like to have had some resolution with what had happened with the twin brother and the situation at home. Was the twin protective because he, too, is gay...or did he argue with his father to protect his younger twin's gay innocence. Maybe a sequel might tie up loose ends???

It was the first time, I think, that I read a story on literotica not as a sex story but as a serious piece of literature.

The ending was rather abrupt, I would have liked the story to be fleshed out - no need for real sex scenes (the rather symbolic visions of Jacob masturbating were enough), but for developing both the story and the two principal characters.

I really enjoyed the story and the character building. A very well laid out plot line and build up. Look forward to more.

I felt the ending was really abrupt also. I loved the story. So much time was spent showing us another part of the world. I was positive the places were real and found that interesting. I thought the characters were so well developed. And then at the part of the story where it gets good and the boy realizes all this about himself, figures out more about his family and his cousin who has fallen in love with him also and boom the story ends just like that. It was just getting good! well, better. I am not just talking about the erotic part either. I would have liked to see him sit with this new self-image and let himself be free to love and not sit in his brother's shadow (even if he was the only one that saw himself that way). i'd really love to see this taken a bit farther. what was here, the beginning and middle of the story was great!

You’re absolutely right, the ending was rather abrupt and left lots of questions and unresolved matters. I can give you two of the answers I know: Yes his twin brother Evan is gay, and the fight was due to him coming out to his father.

My editor did warn me that readers would want to know more and might be unhappy about me ending the story there. But I guess I was focused on what to me were the main issues of the story: the fact that Russell was clueless about his own sexuality, and that the camping trip made him aware (and fall in love). So to me the night at the beach was sort of the answer to the whole question of why he got sent away, and thus the climax of the story. To continue would remove focus from that crucial revelation, so that’s why it ended there.

But I guess I owe you all a sequel.

What a lovely story! And it makes me want to go backpacking, despite the tick danger. I agree with other comments, I'd like to read more.

The endless listing of place names is distracting. The back story, all of it leading to the campsite, is tedious and unnecessary and does not advance the erotic tension. Would have better off with him landing in airport and picking up relationship from there. Why is one twin gorgeous and the other so different? Why not just make him an older brother who always overshadowed him?

The language is flat, uninspired, mechanical. Unless I misunderstood, these are cousins. The incest angle should be addressed. The style, broken into thick chunky paragraphs all of the same size,, is not welcoming.

I found it all flat., as if an engineer wrote it. Very little depth of emotion, too controlled. Its hinted at, but not developed. Would rather you go into character's head than details of his modes of transport. An erotic encounter in the forest with a cousin should be way hotter than this. Overall, dull and mechanical.

I had actually been looking forward to reading this story as I scrolled through the list reading contest entries and it totally caught me by surprise in the sweetest way! The best about this story was that it made me FEEL. It was written with an Earth Day emphasis and 5-star mindset and deserves all the positive feedback. Good luck in the contest!!:)

Love the detail of the scenes and don't feel like it was too much. Both Jacob and Russell were interesting, likable characters. More so with Russell as readers could easily identify and/or cheer his success. His narration reads authentic, sweet and erotic. I'm glad to read in your comments you plan to have sequel because I do feel that the last word wasn't the end of this story.

It is good to read a story about places and event that the author knows, it has made this story flow, the relationship between the main characters is dealt with most sympathetically, you can feel how gently loving is building to a climax.

Perfectly paced, perfectly written, exquisitely plotted.

You are a great author, I hope you develop this story more. You are incredibly talented and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

Good story. I'm disappointed that his brother would hide so much from his own twin, and then abandon him with no explanation. It just plain saddens me.

A good story, lead in was good, but a little to long. While the ending dose explain some and a little action. It falls way short of completing the story.

I apologize for not living up to my promise of posting a sequel to this story. I'm not very active on LitE any more for various reasons. If you want to read more about Jacob and Russell, you can find them over at gayauthors.org by following this link: http://www.gayauthors.org/story/timothy-m/cluelesscamping

I'm grateful to everyone who has commented, favorited, and voted on my stories or sent me feedback, and I'm sorry to let you down. Hopefully I'll be back some time with other GM stories, but not this one.

I strongly disagree with the commenter who called the story a 'snoozefest'. You are a fine author and the description (with place names) added authenticity to your story. I loved it. I did wish that, despite your shyness, you had added more detail on the intense sexual encounter and described the awakening the same way you focused on geography , science and nature.