by dorkybutcute
So detailed, so passionate, so thoughtful. Few authors can really balance the sex with the inner thoughts and feelings, and you've done it very well. I eagerly await more of your work.
So sensitive, so subtly erotic, so totally in touch with the characters. I can't wait for more stories from you.
brillant, there's no other word for this, I loved it. so gentle and yet so erotic. I found this story one to savour, and I love happy endings.
Mmmm Very nice. That was absolutely brilliant. Great story. I Love your writing. Can't wait to read more.
You definitely have a gift, thank you for sharing it. The imagery and wording are simply beautiful. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Your story was mentioned in the Author's Hangout New Story Reviews!
Stunning, delicious, impeccable, have I gone too far yet? There have been many outstanding stories and writers on Lit. over the years and this one of yours ranks among the very best! You captured so much of what makes a new relationship so beautiful. It makes me wish I had your gift. Nicely done!
One of the better stories in a long time. Beautifully paced, very erotic and we need a chapter 2.
That was a very delicately written romance that came across as quite real. If you could space it out a bit, add in some plot twists and mis-understandings, I believe you could actually be able to turn this into a Harlequin Romance novel (if they took lesbian stories anyway).
That was such a beautiful story. The way you described the buildup was so realistic, it felt like the story of my life. Thank you.
You captured the romance perfectly. A truly beautiful story indeed.
Thank you for a wonderful story. I'm L.A.Wicker,I write too and about to write my first, real lesbian thing in a story. Would you like to help?
If so write to: Lawicker45@aol.com
Your story was great.
Terrific build up and tension, with incredible description of their love making. Very hot and well written. Can't wait to read more of your work
Lost and Delirious was a terrible movie. This story was just okay. For roughly the same reasons.
You've got me sitting on the edge of my seat while constantly crossing and uncrossing my legs to control myself! Your story brings back good memories with some of my exes that i've lost touch with. Brava (:
Please write more stories soon! This is one of my all time favorites.
I absolutely loved this story!!! please do another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well written, your story has a graceful flow which makes it easy to read. I'm glad you didn't describe your characters with a paragraph on their 'stats' as so many do but instead you incorporated glimpses of description where appropriate to the story arc. Your creation of tension was well built and and certainly not forced - a difficult feat considering your readers know the characters are going to get together.
I'm especially impressed that Erik is the only character with a name, yet not once was I confused about which girl was where during the entire story. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing and I hope you will continue to post your work. Adversity and miscommunication would certainly enhance the story-telling aspect, but for a quick erotic read this was more than enough. Keep on.
I must have read this about a half dozen times, but it's such a beautiful story. Excellently written.
Great story, all around. Wonderful setup, with minimal description - the more my imagination is involved, the deeper I get into the story. And then finally, the consummation - unf, I felt it all!
Holy hell, you can write! Somehow you turned cliches into poetry. I don't know how you did it, but brava!
Dorky girl, this is a very good little story and a well-written one at that. I'm impressed---I didn't spot one mistake, not even a typo. It's so enjoyable that I have a question: why, why, why is this the only story you've written (or at least published on this site)? I'm sure that if you had written and presented more, you would have a very solid fan base. Come back, Dorky, all is forgiven!
I agree with those who admire its 'spoton', clear writing. The story had me from the first with its jigs and smiles.
Was so sad to see you haven't posted any other stories.
I would love to read more of your work, this is a gem.
Oh how I loved this story. Loads of build up, great character and plot development, and the ending is, wow. My only wish for this story is that it had been longer. Still, thank you for sharing it with us!
I love the words you used to put sensations in my mind and body. Beautiful!