Cold River

"Maybe I was just being overly zealous," he said with resignation in his voice.

No one spoke for a few moments then Brady looked at Sutton and told her, "Honestly? It isn't just Brianna, though."

Her heart rate had slowed back down to normal when she realized all of this was in what Scott used to say was 'the too hard to do category'. But now it was suddenly quickening its pace once again.

"I don't want you to think I really am some kind of nut job stalker or even just a nut job," he began.

Sutton laughed politely then Brady continued.

"With that caveat in place, I don't think I've even met anyone quite like you before, Sutton."

As her tummy did a flip she tried to stay calm and said with a smile, "Well, I hope you've never met any other woman who's had your baby."

Brady laughed back politely and that caused Sutton to nearly giggle.

"Sorry! I didn't mean that like it sounded," she told him.

"You should have," he replied. "And the answer is 'no', I've never met another woman who's done that."

"Whew!" she said not knowing what else to say.

"But seriously, it's not just this beautiful little girl I can't stop thinking about. I really barely even know you, but I think about you all the time. Both of you. It's the craziest thing, but I can't shake this feeling I...."

He looked at Brianna then back at Sutton before saying, "Please try not to laugh, okay?"

"I'll try," Sutton told him as she hung on every word.

"It's like...I belong here. With you. And...Brianna."

Sutton just stared at him and after a few seconds Brady said, "You think I'm loco, don't you?"

"No. Not at all," she said very quietly. "I...I think that's quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me before."

"Sweet as in 'sweet, but you're out of your mind', or sweet as in 'that sounds okay to me'?" he asked.

"Yes," Sutton said causing Brady to laugh.

"Seriously? Then would you maybe, you know, like to...go out sometime?"

Sutton laughed, too, as her heart felt like it might burst with happiness.

"Yes. Seriously. And I'd like that very much," she told him. "But I have to ask if you've thought this through. I mean, I understand why you want to spend time with Brianna. But you don't have to spend time with me in order to do so. I mean, it's not like I'm young or pretty or...."

"May I?" he asked as he held Brianna out toward her.

"Oh. Sure. Of course," she said as she reached out to take her.

Brady kind of stood up and as he leaned over to hand Brianna to her mom, he stopped and held onto her while he continued bending over until Sutton looked up just before he softly kissed her on the lips.

"I'm glad you said I could," he said quietly pretending he'd misunderstood.

"I...didn't, I didn't say you could.... Even so, I'm...I'm glad you took it the wrong way," she said barely able to speak.

"I didn't take it the wrong way. I knew exactly what you meant. It's just that I think you're a very beautiful woman, Sutton Davis. And I don't think it will come as any surprise that I already know your date of birth, so if that's what you were worried about—don't be."

"O...okay," she said never taking her eyes off his.

"If my date of birth scares you, I'll do my best to prove to you I'm not an irresponsible kid."

"A college graduate and an FBI agent? I don't think that ever crossed my mind," she told him still trying to make sense of what was happening.

"So...could we possibly do something together tomorrow night?" he asked. "I should be done around six o'clock and I could take both of my favorite girls out to dinner."

"I...I'd like that. Very much," Sutton told him.

"Great. Then I'll call you just before I come over or if I'm running late I'll let you know."

"Brady?" Sutton said as he stood up.

"Yes?"

"You...you don't have to leave right now unless you need to," she told him still staring into his gorgeous eyes.

"I don't. I just didn't want to wear out my welcome on day one," he told her.

"I don't think that will happen," she said sweetly. "Can I maybe get you a drink? Did you even have dinner yet?"

"Yes and no," he told her answering both questions. "I was gonna go grab something at a fast food joint...."

"No. Please don't. I can fix you something real quick. It'd be no trouble," Sutton said. "But you will have to keep holding Brianna."

"Oh, well, in that case," he said pretending it was something close to torture before holding her at arm's lenght.

"I like holding you. Yes, I do!" he said Brianna genuinely happy to be holding his daughter again. "You are just so pretty! Yes, you are!"

Sutton smiled as her heart sang while she got out some leftovers to warm up. She glanced over at Brady every so often, and he was clearly having the time of his life. At one point, Sutton had to turn away because she felt tears of joy welling up in her eyes and she didn't want him to see her crying on their first d...the first time they were spending an evening together.

Dinner was a warmed-up pork chop along with some mashed potatoes and a little bit of gravy from two days ago, but it was perhaps the most enjoyable meal Brady had eaten in a very long time.

They sat down together and spent the next couple of hours talking and getting acquainted as they sipped a glass of wine. The only interruption in the conversation was putting Brianna to bed.

"She looks like a little angel," Brady said as he laid her in her crib for the first time.

"She is. She truly is my miracle baby," Sutton said as he stood back up.

When he did their hands briefly touched and after a bit of an awkward flinch they found their way back together.

Brady turned toward her then said, "I know this is going to sound corny or way over the top, but meeting you...and Brianna...is my miracle."

Sutton was looking up into his eyes as he reached for her other hand which she happily gave him. Their eyes danced for several seconds before Brady leaned down and kissed her again. Softly and slowly and for a very long second kiss.

"Wow," Sutton said quietly as their lips parted. "If you really do find me...attractive...then I have to count that as my second miracle."

Brady smiled, put his hand on her face, then said playfully, "In Catholic circles, two miracles is enough to make you a saint."

"I'm no saint, Brady," she told him. "Just a woman who hasn't felt like this in...forever."

"Forever is a very long time," he told her quietly.

"Yes, it is," she agreed as she desperately hoped he'd kiss her again.

When he did she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him back. This time the kiss became passionate, long, and deep.

"Did I say 'wow'?" Sutton asked when it finally ended.

"If you didn't, I will," he told her. "Wow...is right."

As great as the kiss was, and it was pretty darned amazing, Sutton enjoyed the way Brady took her hand and held it as they walked to the living room even more. He waited for her to sit down first, something else she found very charming. So far, there wasn't a single thing she didn't find charming about him.

"Would you like some more wine?" Sutton asked.

"No, thank you. I really should be going. I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow and I need to be up by 5am."

"I understand," she said supportively. "I'd love for you to be able to stay a while longer, but I'd never be selfish enough to ask."

Brady reached out and brushed her hair back then said, "You really are an amazing woman."

"So you're saying I've aged well?" Sutton said mostly teasing but she was also testing the waters.

"If I was your age, would you put yourself down like that?" he asked in the gentlest way.

"I...I was just kidding around," she told him even though she knew she wasn't.

No, she didn't look 'old' but she didn't look 25 or whatever his age was. In fact, she didn't know how old he was so she asked.

"I'm 25," he told her.

"If it helps, I'm almost 26," he said with a smile. "I spent two years in grad school after getting my BA, and I've been with the FBI almost a year now."

"And you already know how old I am," Sutton said quietly.

"Yes, I do, and I don't care. At all."

"I suppose I'm just a little bit paranoid since you look so...so freaking hot. Oh, and young. While I look...."

"Beautiful," he assured her. "You are very beautiful, and even more important to me is how wonderful a person you are. Trust me, it wouldn't matter how attractive you were if you weren't a kind, tender, loving person."

"I'm just a little gun shy, I'm afraid. You know, having been cheated on then abandoned when I got pregnant. I mean, I'm glad he's gone. That's not even in question. It's just that it might take some time to learn to trust again, and well, you are very good looking."

"Looks fade, Sutton. What's inside is what matters. I care about who are you are. I appreciate that you just happen to be very pretty, but that alone wouldn't make me want to get to know you," he told her. "And I do want to get to know you better. A lot better."

"It won't be easy with you living in Boise, though," she told him, missing him already.

"No, but it will be doable. I don't have a beautiful home like this, but I do have a decent apartment with a second bedroom. For you and Brianna, of course."

"Oh, okay. For a moment there...."

He smiled then said, "I don't want to press my luck. I want to take things as slowly as you need me to, okay? You're very much worth waiting for, Sutton."

"I feel like I'm 16 again," she said. "I'm a basket case of emotions. I'm happy, excited, scared, worried, afraid, and a whole lot of other things."

"I was, too, until I saw you and your...our...daughter. I know they say having children changes you, and I had no idea my um, donation, would ever be used, but even though I played no real role in any of this, I feel so connected to both of you. I felt it that first time, too. I'd just promised myself I would not get involved under any circumstance. But even as I was leaving, I wanted to turn around and tell you I didn't mean it. So, I'll wait, Sutton. Weeks, months, even years. As long as I know you won't give up."

"Give up? Me? Brady, you're the one who's going to have every women he meets throwing herself at him. No one throws themselves at me anymore. And now that I have a baby...."

"It makes you even more desirable to me," he told her. "Just trust me on that, okay?"

The way he smiled at her melted her heart and all she could say was, "Okay. I guess I can that considering she's your baby, too."

She walked him to the door a few minutes later and thanked him again for the roses.

"My pleasure. Maybe next time red would be more appropriate?"

"I'll love anything you give me, Brady," she told him as he held her hands again.

"If this is too fast, forgive me, but I'm giving you my heart, Sutton. I hope that will be enough because I don't have much else to offer you," he told her before leaning down to kiss her goodbye.

"How could I possibly ask for anything more?" she said quietly as their lips parted.

"Well, goodnight," he told her after just standing there and staring at her for several seconds.

"Goodnight," she said reluctantly.

"I'll call every day if that's okay," he said.

"Just once?" she said trying to sound like she was teasing.

"As often as I can?" he offered. "Plus lots of texts?"

"I like the sound of that," she said before standing on her toes to kiss him again.

"So...g'night," she said again as she let him go already feeling sad and lonely and yet so very hopeful.

Sutton had a very fitful night as she tried to sort out the huge and sudden changes in her life. She'd gone from feeling all alone and wondering if she was being stalked to...what? Feeling lovesick for sure. Meeting the father of her child? Yes. Most definitely. Being kissed by one of the most handsome men she'd ever know? Oh, yeah! Having a boyfriend? That seemed pretty likely base on what he'd said about giving her his heart. And he told her very sincerely he didn't care how much older than him she was so...what did all this mean?

Sutton fell asleep early in the morning still not sure but enjoying whatever it was going on in her life.

When she awoke, it took her foggy brain a few seconds to realize Brianna was crying, something she rarely did anymore. She glanced at her alarm at saw it was a little after 8am. Sutton had slept in that long since before Brianna was born, and she felt terrible knowing her baby was hungry and wet and possibly more.

The pungent odor that hit her nose told her it was definitely more. She changed her baby and cleaned her up completely then took her into the kitchen to feed her. She was halfway through a jar of baby food when she realized she hadn't checked her phone. She put the spoon down, darted to the bedroom, grabbed the phone, and ran back.

Brianna was sitting up in her highchair making baby noises and entertaining herself as Sutton sat back down and looked. There were three text messages and she hadn't heard her phone ding once. She quickly opened them and smiled as she read.

"Good morning, beautiful! I had such a great time last night. Thanks again for dinner and for being such a wonderful person. Brady."

The second and third were equally sweet and Sutton quickly tapped out a reply.

"Good morning yourself, handsome! I also had a wonderful evening. Each time I look over at the beautiful roses, I think about you—and the kisses—which were even more wonderful than the flowers."

She thought for a moment then added, "I am so happy to have you in my life. And something tells me Brianna will be, too."

She thought again for a moment then decided to say it.

"Love, Sutton."

She hit send then went back to feeding her baby. As Brianna was eating the first next bite her phoned dinged. Sutton sat down the spoon again and read his reply.

"I...love...the sound of that. I'm in meetings all day and may not be able to even text, but I'll be thinking about you both every second all day long. Love, Brady."

Sutton realized she was smiling so broadly it was hurting her face. Then again, if that was the price to pay for feeling like this, her face could just tough it out.

"Your daddy just said 'love' to Mommy," Sutton told Brianna as she fed her another bite.

"He didn't tell me he loves me because it's way too soon, but Mommy might just be in love with your daddy. She's not gonna tell him, though, because it could ruin everything, and I don't want to mess this up for either one of us."

Brianna made a kind of motorboat noise and sprayed some of her pureed food onto her mom who just laughed. Nothing could upset her when she was this happy.

She finished feeding Brianna then washed her up, and decided to give her mom a call.

"You did what?" her mom asked after Sutton finally got around to telling her what happened.

"It was just a kiss, Mom," she reminded her.

"But he's so young! Honey, what could you possibly have in common with this guy?"

"Good point. It's not like he's Brianna's father or anything," she said playfully.

"Okay, fine. But other than that what is there?"

"That's what dating is all about, Mom. Finding out. Besides, weren't you the one asking about him?"

As she waited for her mom to reply, she went to 'messages' then imported one of the many pics she'd taken of Brady—one with him holding Brianna—then sent it to her mom.

"Check your messages," Sutton told her.

"Okay. Hold on," her mom said.

She could picture her trying to figure out how to get out of the phone app and over to messages, then find the one from Sutton without hanging up.

But a few seconds later she heard her mother say, "Oh, my. You were right. He's even more handsome than you said."

There was a moment of silence before Ida said, "But what if he does get attached to Brianna then just up and leaves her? Won't that be worse than not knowing?"

"I can't answer that, Mom. Life is full of events. Some are wonderful and amazing while others are heartbreaking. I would never want to see my daughter get hurt, but how is this any different than if say, Scott had stuck around for a few years and then left? Brianna would still have gotten hurt, right?"

"Yes, but this is different."

"How so?" Sutton asked.

There was another long pause before her mom said, "I was going to say you could get hurt, too, but I realized you'd use Scott again as an example of having already been hurt, so I decided to let it go."

"Mom? I know you love me and that Brianna and I are you're biggest concerns in life and that means everything to me. But I don't want to live in fear of what might happen, and I definitely don't want to live alone the rest of my life. That doesn't mean I'm planning on marrying the first guy who comes along and shows an interest in me, but I'm not going to rule the first guy out just because he's the first."

Ida waited for a moment before saying, "Well, he is Brianna's father, so I suppose that does count for something. But it's just hard not to think of him as, you know, just the donor."

Sutton chose her words carefully to avoid hurting her mom's feelings.

"But isn't that essentially the case with every man? Their 'official' part is done in a few minutes, and we end up carrying the child for nine months then delivering them. So unless the man takes an interest in the child, he's nothing but a donor. And Brady is taking a real interest in Brianna's life and, well, in me, too."

"I just want you to be happy, honey. That's all. I want that for my granddaughter, too, but you know what I mean."

"I do, Mom. And I want that, too. For all of us."

"I can't help but feel this is a very strange relationship, but if you're happy then...I'm happy," her mom said, her tone of voice softening dramatically.

"Thank you, Mom. And...I love you. Very much."

"I love you, too, honey," Ida said. "So...keep me updated on how things go, okay?"

"I will," Sutton promised.

"Just not...too updated, okay?"

The obvious reference to any future intimacy was enough to make Sutton laugh then say, "Mom! Come on already. We're just...."

Again, she had to wonder what it was they were but she settled for saying 'friends' before telling her mom goodbye.

After two days of texts and phone calls, Sutton had a pretty good idea what it was like to actually be a teenager in the age of cell phones. Hers was practically glued to her body, and she never went anywhere, to include the shower, without it being within arms reach.

Her whole life seemed to revolve around the next text or, as the last two nights turned out, spending several hours on the phone talking with Brady late into the night.

On the third night, they'd been talking for over an hour when he said, "How would you like to come to Boise this weekend?"

Sutton's body experienced a rush of chemicals that washed over her in the most pleasant of ways.

"I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you to spend it with me in Cold River," she said sweetly in reply. "But a trip to the 'big city' might be very nice."

"I grew up in Cold River so to me, Boise is the big city," Brady laughed. "When I found out my first assignment was to the FBI Field Office in Boise, I just sat there staring at the computer screen in disbelief. But then I suppose it made some kind of sense as I know the area pretty well and that can't hurt."

"Yeah, you join the FBI to see the country then you end up in your own backyard, so to speak," Sutton said in agreement.

"I guess it's like joining the military then getting sent to a base near your hometown. That happened to a friend of mine who joined the Air Force then got sent right back to Mountain Home Air Force Base here in Idaho. His mother was thrilled. Him? Not so much."

Sutton laughed because everything made her happy these days.