All Comments on 'Collateral Ch. 01'

When are you posting the next chapter on the other website? It's been over two weeks, and I need my 'Collateral' fix!!!!!

Got me hard AF and its only the 1st Chapter

I don't know where you are reading the story, but I have planned updates for this week on multiple websites, so I suppose that you might see it soon.

Not the original Annon commenter, but this is an amazing story that I follow on GA. So happy you’ve added the story to this site. You are very talented and your writing is exceptional. I look forward to your updates.

more please!!!

I guess I have to be the first one to say it: this is in dire need of editing. Or maybe even a full fledged rewrite. Grammar, word choice, verb tense; damn near everything. I don't mind a few errors, but these reached the point of distraction, if not outright confusion.

That being said it was a compelling first chapter. I'm wondering what the time period is supposed to be? Seems to be influenced pretty heavily by the 80's gangs(both fictional and non).

Sexy as hell. Loved this chapter.

re: @illwind

I know your comment was posted coming up on a year ago; however, it is comments like this that drive me absolutely nuts. This is a FREE website. The wonderful author who wrote this chapter and subsequent work has done this purely for fun. Comments such as this one are the reason that I and many other popular authors on this site chose to no longer write on here. Consider not posting stuff like that, enjoy the work or GTFO

laurasfox, this was a wonderful first chapter. I'm excited to read the rest of the story after such a gripping introduction to our characters.

It’s a great start and I can’t sit to read it all! Don’t worry about negative comments, people suck but they can gtfo if they don’t like it!

@evolvingslowly, where to you write now??

It was good

thanks for a good story, so far.

Making this my third time reading this story.

Well, that was hot as hell. Nice to meet you Sir.