All Comments on 'Company Picnic'

Great picnic!

You have a great, relaxed writing style that belies the heat between the characters. Looking forward to more from you.

This story needs more character development, more plot . . . more work. The plot can be summarized "I go visit stepdaddy and let him fuck me as soon as we're alone." It qualifies as mediocre pornography but not as decent erotic fiction. You do sem to have some writing abilities so please accept the criticisms constructively and keep writing.

Sure it could have developed more smoothly, even over a day or two. And the 3rd person narration is awkward.

But the last line is a killer. Excellent!

A great first story . Loved it....and please don't let it be your last...!

usually don't enjoy first-person stories, but this one was very good!

and seductive. She always wanted to fuck him and now her dream has cum true.

Continue this story line, please.

I so wish my step daughter would let me eat her beautiful pussy, I also want to lick her great ass, bet her hole would be good to lick. I could slide my cock up her ass and be in heaven for sure. I love the smell of her panties when ever I get the chance to sniff them. Dont have the opportunity now because she is living with her son in her new house. Was over there today and she had a menstrual pad rolled up in the trash sack hanging on her sink drawer, I almost took it so I could smell her again. but she sure would miss it not being there. She once left her pad on my shelf here and I just happened to go into the bathroom right after her. The pad was still warm and I could not resist unrolling it and licking the pad, it was so good. I have licked my wife during her period but alas she no longer has them.

5.0 = 💯% (🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟)!

❤❤

About the story:

incest - sexy - nice! - Thanks! - yummy.