by BSBosworth
nice work.. didn't need the part about histo and the snip job.. but great work.
I agree with the comment about not needing the back stories...unless this is going to continue. Either way, a pleasure!
This is a version with changes suggested by readers. Frankly, they were right. I think it moves more smoothly and more like what it was supposed to be.
Thanks for the feedback.
BS
Reader comments came in 2 days, then none for 7 years. Maybe editing by responding to comments, took away the need for comments. I thought it deserved more comments.
Things I liked:
--Good story line, with sex integrated into the story.
--They appear to be pleasant folks that treat each other nicely -- looking out for the other's pleasure, not using crude or demeaning language.
--A desirable woman, described well, without going into the tedious detail we readers too often have to put up with. Actually, as in most of these type Literotica stories, on a normal call, he encounters a beyond-normal hottie. Unrealistic, as a normal call, encountering a normal lady, on a normal day, does not normally get you a hottie. But then, I normally prefer finding that beyond-normal hottie in my Literotica stories. Thankfully, she did not have EE breasts, nor did he possess an 8" cock.
--My reading was not disturbed by language problems -- misspellings or grammar problems. Smooth writing made for smooth reading. The first commenter said it's well above the usual Lit standard. For sure. A writer who knows how to use the English language, and knows how to use it to tell a story.
Could have stood by itself, but, happily, there are more chapters.
Paul in Oklahoma