All Comments on 'Connected Ch. 01'

I dont normaly give any negative comments but I feel that its needed here you need to proof read your story after writing it or have someone else do it for you this is a good story but the missing words and mis-placed words make it hard to do.

Great start, I can't wait to read the next chapter. As far as missing words go, who cares.

never ever post a story with out going through a good editor a 12 year old could write better. way to many missing words and wrong words we are not suposed to fill in the blanks that is your job this was a good first draft and that is all it never should have been posted do a rewrite and use a good editor from now on

I love the story! I hope you dont make me wait a month or two for the next chapter! As far as missing words or whatever I really dont read these stories for there grammer so i think it was great keep it up and post again soon! the longer i wait the worst my vote is

Loved reading this this, you have a way of describing real love between brother and sister at it;s sweetest.

I love sibling incest tales, especially bro/sis love stories. I think you have the beginnings of a really good story here.

Most of us aren't here to critique your grammar, but the anonymous cheap shot artists, inevitably, will. One of the best writers of bro/sis love stories on this site is Jessy19 and she just might tell a person about her/himself, if they start taking cheap shots about grammatical errors in her work. Like I have said to others, if some of these folks are looking for perfection, they probably should go to the public library and find something written by James Fenimore Cooper.

Sometimes I get on my hobby horse, because I despise people who try to dampen the enthusiasm of a new author with their anonymous criticisms. You keep doing what you do. You will find that there will be many more who appreciate your efforts than you will ever know. Thanks for your story. I'll be waiting for more.

The innocent younger sister and the older brother. It never gets old.

An editor would be a plus! It would fix the grammer problems. But it wouldn't change that it was a good story!

Thanks for writing!

I just wanted to thank everyone who commented or voted, and let everyone know that I will be re-editing this and reposting soon. I am also almost done with the second chapter, it should be posted by the middle of next week. I think. I hope you have enjoyed the story so far and I never expected to get so much feedback! Thank you again, comments and votes are always welcome!

The author.

Your writing was well organized, story was excellent, and your presentation of characters well thought out. You did make some grammarical and spelling errors which can be easily corrected. I rated your story with four stars. Make the corrections suggested above and you will have a six star presentation. wct

I sure hope you can and soon, Please!!

I want to read more and the soon the better.

Thanks for share your story with us.

It seems like 90% of the authors here have no knowledge of the female anatomy. The hymen is at the FRONT of the vagina not two inches deep.

nice beginning. I could have used a little more tease and background, but the story is very compelling. i already like the 2 characters. i'm looking forward to the next chapter