All Comments on 'Connected Ch. 04'

I can't wait to read what happens next. Hurry!

I love this story.

Please get a grip on yourself, even in fiction no one could be as careless and right down stupid?!

Ar first birth control is in use, but all of a sudden there is the pregnancy,

She loves him and wants him - then she starts flirting with another guy

Thirdly she get Rebecca to visit her while she still has her morning sickness and then they fool around on the bed all the while she has another person being around? Just how not thinked through gets this story?

A bit of reflection before and after posting this would be really needed. Remember, not all of your readers are still teenagers, while enjoying erotic romantic, a story still has to be some reality....

She was on birth control, which is usually effective but not always. The whole flirting with the other guy and stuff, she wasn't really or not as much as it seemed it was mostly David overreacting and being jealous because of their new situation and everything. They weren't really fooling around and they are only teenagers(well one of them anyways), and you can't tell me that teenagers don't do stupid things like that. Sorry you didn't enjoy it, this is the first story that I have written about a brother and a sister and I will admit I lost my footing for the a bit but I'm trying to get it back. Hopefully the next chapter will be more successful. Thanks anyway for reading :)

The story was very nice, the relationship growing stronger and stronger, but the spelling problems were so ubiquitious, they kept me from enjoying the story to the fullest!!

Post soon, please :)

Taking the pill doesnt mean you are safe from becoming pregnant. I got pregnant when I was on the pill so it is possible.

Im looking forward to your next story hopfully it is soon!

I really enjoyed all of the stories. I noticed a few times you put Racheal and I think you were meaning Rebecca. I hope you decide to write more chapters of this story because it is getting juicy

I really hope there is a next chapter things are starting to get pretty interesting especially with hopes best friend walking in on on her and david.

Oh shit! What happens next?

When is ch.4 coming??...this story is great!! love the characters and writing...I wan't Weebit!!!

Great story. Please continue.

Oh PLEASE!!!! Write more on this story... it is very good!!!

PLEASE!

You have to continue the story I'm dying to know what happens

MORE

But you seemed to have written this with no idea where you were going with it. I think you can rehabilitate this and make it a great one.

More don't just leave us hangin

YOU!! Have to finish the story . I was getting into it and......................LIKE I SAID.

I HATE CLIFF HANGERS.

i think the whole series needs to be deleted and rewritten using a GOOD EDITOR and you need to straighten out all the screwups and give more and better detail. as a whole it was subpar as is typical for writers on this site THEY JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT THEIR WORK AND JUST WANT TO SEE THEIR NAMES ON THE INTERNET.

Not a bad story but there are a few things you need to do. First you need to make sure you have someone edit it correctly. There are way to may mistakes in it. From spelling to grammar. Second you need to slow it down a bit it seems like you are rushing the story. Third you need to either tie up the ending or continue with a good ending. You shouldn't leave it hanging like you did. Everyone would like to know what happens.

This story, like most in the genre, holds a sexual power unlike much else. The intensity of such a disturbing sexual relationship cannot be denied even by those who are not as into the incest/taboo category. I myself am not INTO it, but I do respect the fact that it is hot as hell, because it is WRONG as hell. I agree that the story has moved very fast to the point where it is starting to become a depressing scenario too closely resembling real life (getting knocked up in college, no outside financial or emotional support, couple's bickering and issues...). Real life is hard enough, and many people read stories to get AWAY from their bland daily life. The editing is virtually non-existent it seems. However, I feel that the foundation of the story is good. I will continue to read your work because I feel you have potential as an author. I will give one piece of editing advice--- read your story ALOUD (ok whisper if you need to) before submitting it. You will catch so many errors that you miss when just reading to review. Good luck!

Bring the next chapter please

that never got completed. i gave the prior ones 5 stars - but i can't believe i'm left hanging once again! please can't you finish this story

So bummed This was never finished, especially on a big cliff hanger like that! I really didn't like that he acted like he had to explain himself to Rebecca and she acted like he was betraying her or some shit. Maybe it's a good thing it left off because if he cheated with her it would've destroyed this story.

It was awesome though! Really hope you decide to finish it some day...and if you do please don't take the Rebecca thing anywhere. That would completely fuck this otherwise amazing story up.

Great story telling! Really hope you decide to finish this!!! Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

My only issues were the cliffhanger.... huge let down and also the back and forth with David. Like not deliberately having him go back in forth in his feelings, but sometimes writing his emotions as if he were insanely in love with her since the first paragraph to him "just realizing" he was in love with her. Some of his actions also seemed out of character like taking off on her over baby talk and then him throwing her off his lap and wanting to explain himself to Rebecca as if he was in a relationship with her but Hope. It just seemed like one minute he was so in love with her he'd never want anyone else and then all of a sudden it seemed like he wasn't as in love with her as she was with him. It just seemed a little inconsistent at times due to that.

Otherwise it was fantastic and I really hope you decide to pick up where you left off someday. Would really like more consistency in how David feels and acts towards Hope. Like keep him head over heels for her and not throwing her off his lap to "explain" himself to her friend when she walks in on them.