All Comments on 'Corporate Family Dinner Ch. 05'

20 men ? OMG . Selling the Infiniti is a touching gesture, but 20 men ? OMG.I admire the multiple levels of cognitive dissonance going on and the credible , disparate voices of the multitudinous characters from corporate flack/ letches waging damage control to the main characters.

How will things shake out ? No idea, but 20 men ? OMG. Elaine is one sick kitten.

Full marks. *****

You need to get the homonyms straight. (No, I am not punning around.) You confuse your (possessive) with you're (you are) and a couple other goofs like that that are distracting for your readers.

And you're still dragging your feet unnecessarily. Tighten up the dialogue, leave out the extraneous material and finish soon.

Showed up with your combination of plotting & technical ability, it was "The Unoriginalist". That's been a while. Please keep writing.

She cheated while married and Bob is cheating on her, how does that make him better than her? It's still cheating and if it doesn't matter why she cheated then it doesn't matter why he's cheating.

What makes it worse is that he is trying to claim the moral high ground. He's claiming how evil, how selfish, how much of a whore she is when he's cheating on Elaine just because he wants to hurt her and fuck other women. For all his talk about morals, he's even abandoning his daughter and doesn't even care if she's hurting, he's too busy playing the field, wrapped up in his world.

I have no respect for guys like that. I refuse to even call them men because they aren't.

Said before, this is about real people and I like how you are presenting the two main protagonists. The inner dialog, the confusion, the reality of major changes laid out on top of what was a strong love that one of them ran off the rails. Now the wrecking crew is looking at the two locomotives off the track and wondering how they can get them back on and how much damage there is. Karen is a nice character to add to the story line, the other woman introduced to make him realize he is attractive in his own right, to balance things a bit. Glad you are not throwing her at him, like having sex the first night they met. Definitely a four star effort thus far, tending toward fives, but we will see.

Are they going to divorce or reconcile?

Other thoughts:

“Had I started feeling and then acting more dissatisfied with our economic hardships, and is that why Bob started working so much more overtime?” – Ya think?

“kept you satisfied sexually” – She’s STILL delusional, because she DIDN’T keep him “satisfied sexually”!

How is he cheating?

Although they are living in the same house they are effectively separated, and they have agreed to each of them seeing others, just not bringing them back to the house (even if she HAS said she WON'T see others, she has the right to do so.)

A really interesting story so far, you've set a lot of ground work; looking forward to what happens when Bob decides to start things into motion. The one person that I wonder about is Tisdale with his sadistic side and his standby "muscle". Would hate to see something happen to Bob or his daughter, his wife, she's made her own mess-not much concern for her. Looking forward to the next chapter to see where it goes from here.

I feel for Bob, since this happened to me with my first wife. I have to agree with another comment that stated that Bob cheating is still cheating. He doesn't get a hall pass to cheat, even though it was agreed that either could, just not at the house. That doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, if he was hurt by Elaine's trysts, why would he agree for her to continue to see others? For someone that is angry and hurt, that was an unusual agreement. However, I still loved the chapter, and am looking forward to the next.

Enough said

I hope there will be more chapters.

Stick to your own characters. This is much better than your sequel to The Bridge.

This is by far the best story this year! A couple had my hopes up.... But the crashed and burned. You seem not to be rushing it and it flows nicely. I hope to read more from you in the future.

you get into details that have nothing to do with your story, and when your details are wrong or stupid, it makes your reader NOT want to finish your story. "my executive assistant and personal secretary - Brenda McManus. And she makes quite a bit more than you do, salary wise" So, all the people in your story are complete FUCKING MORONS? Why is this stupid, and completely unrealistic piece of information in your story? All it tells your reader is that you as a writer have actually never been in any setting similar to this.

I can't imagine how any idot can imagine this is anywhere near even a half assed story, much less the best of the year. This is the most disjointed, POS story of the year.

When I buy a paperback book written by Patrick O'Brien costing 8-9 pounds I expect it to be well written. where he weaves fiction with fact I expect the facts to be accurate. When I read amateur authors here for free do I expect the same kind of accuracy, no of course not I am not that stupid. Point these things out to the writer by all means but not in the nasty ill mannered way that some do, I think these comments say more about the commentator. am looking forward to the next chapter.

I liked the story until this latest chapter. This chapter is boring and verbose. End it with a bang in the next chapter and maybe you can salvage a little of your reputation as a good author.

Ignore the pathetic one-dimensional comment below. They want a comic book story, most of us want some proper thoughtful literature and you do write well. Will revisit other Chapters based on this. So ignore the idiot Anon.

1. His wife is a slut/whore

2. He doesn't like the idea of being married to a slut/whore

3. Slut/whores make terrible mothers because they are terrible role models if nothing else. It is completely inconsistent with the facts that she could be a caring mother considering the fact that she put her daughters future in jeopardy by destroying her marriage.

4. From my non professional experience of dealing with people with mental illness they fall into 3 groups - brain disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder which can be treated to some degree with drugs, neurosis which can be overcome with therapy, and personality disorders which are not particularly treatable because they are basically who you are. Her slut/whore persona is a personality disorder and it is simply who she is.

5. There is no changing who she is, there is no living with her, she is a bad person, bad for other people to be around because she is selfish to the extreme.

6. The only good outcome here is for Bob to take his daughter away from this bad persons influence and go on with their lives. She should have NO contact with the child. If the plot has her "changing" for the better - it will be a lie or a fantasy. If it has them staying together "as is" it will amount to emotional abuse at the very least, certainly child abuse. As a father, he must protect his daughter from his depraved wife. She is Shit.

The gal had a recent history all right. Somehow he does not convince me that he still loves her. Could he be holding on to his little girl?

they're beating you up pretty bad, but seriously, how about putting an end to it?...You know you're going to take her back...

Your comments are the most uneducated stupid things I have ever read on this board. Get a clue about life.

I still am curious to know where the writer will leads us...This was a good middle chapter...3* for now

Your scores do not reflect the quality of your work. You really have a well-written, logical and believable story that has held my interest for every chapter, and has left me looking forward to the next chapter. I will worry that Ross will drag Bob into some bad territory and/or steal his woman. But I will look forward to Bob bringing down the evil management group.

I will continue to read it. However, you have the story in first person, then we suddenly are inside the wife's mind and then "they" arrive home. The POV still jumps all over within paragraphs. That really needs attention. The plot is interesting. As you work at this, your technical skills will improve. They have already.

... is a fragile contract between the writer and the reader. As long asone does not push too far, ANYTHING may be supposed. But go too far, and that mutual trust breaks and, like the trust in these stories, it is hard to get it back. Selling me the idea that a normal, in the know husband, would permit his wife to publicly humiliate him in the manner you describe is an epic fail. No way, AS YOU DESCRIBED IT.

Your story is growing in interest for me, the contrite wife wanting to learn why she went off the rails, the hero Ross, Karen, etc are all people we want to get to know more. Looking fwd to your next installment.

i get the feeling he's going to stay with his wife even though she admits to fucking 20 other men in the past 2 years not to mention giving him an std. he needs to cut the bitch loose because she doesn't respect him and she sure as hell doesn't love him.

This is definitely the best chapter so far, can't wait to see the next.

Keep up the good work.

Really excellent story, I can't wait for more. Very well crafted, superlative execution. Compelling, captivating and relatable. xoxoxoxo Annette

You have done a good job in this chapter allowing the characters to tell the story, and outlining what the options are going forward. It is obvious Elaine was treating sex exactly like a prostitute, a married prostitute. And she appears to be willing to own all her actions, and admit she has been a bitch, and for at least the past two years a whore. So Bob is now in the position of living with a strange woman he has just met, who admits she was a prostitute, and cheated on her husband, but has vowed to quit and redirect her morals, her behavior, her career, her whole character. If Bob really had just met Elaine, and knew about her real background, I don't think he would give her the time of day. But when you throw in the daughter, well, that changes everything. And you have done a very good job in this chapter illustrating the pain, the guilt, the regret and humiliation, all the expected emotions, outbursts, and uncertainties that Elaine's actions have brought down upon her family. A real shit storm. Adding the intrigue and drama of Bob's possible retribution against the company predators is very believable and makes for great suspense.

So you have definitely matured as a writer right before our eyes, Bravo! Thank you for your time and talent. I know there's still plenty of time for you to fuck this up. But based on this last chapter I am hopeful you know better. Thanks again.

And I admit I got a thrill at first cracking that 4 rating barrier. Well, at least so far ;-)

Chapters 6 and 7 have just been submitted.

I know now how to end up and will do so with chapter 8 and only possibly a short epilogue chapter 9. Maybe after some more feedback from my new favorite people - my readers.

I've read fiction quite enjoyably for over 55 years now, and for the last 54 thought "I could do that - just channel Burroughs, or later Heinlein, and now a few authors here like RichardGerald or Daniel Q Steele and just do it."

It's rather a more difficult thing than I ever imagined. The voices in my head are a tad difficult to get out and about for others to see and understand, after all.

But it's kind of fun to try. But ONLY with a computer/word processor. Trying this with just an old typewriter? No friggin' way.

"Hopefully" justbobkc you are not naive or foolish enough to force reconciliation on Bob! Cheating with ONE man would destroy most husband's faith in their spouse ... "20" MEN removes all doubt! And despite WackaCUCK's idiotic earlier comment about placing "equal" blame on both Bob and his Whore wife, the simple fact is Elaine decided to change her marriage vow of "forsaking all others" to "fucking all others" and in the process released the man she "supposedly" loved from his obligation to remain in the marriage.

You have a very good tale ... don't ruin your carefully crafted work by forcing an unrealistic ending on what is already a foregone conclusion.

Thanks for the read.

Because I can see where you're going with this and I absolutely loathe it.

Well, I guess most of your readers want to see Elaine getting "burned", but if there is a plausible penance from her side I wouldn't be opposed to a reconciliation. There is also their daughter to be regarded.

The "BTB-crowd" is almost as annoying as the cuckold/wimp supporters.

Yeah... a "real" man would do that and do this and seek ultimate revenge on the traitorous spouse. Grow up! In the end he probably only would hurt their daughter. Elaine was a shitty wife towards Bob, no doubt about it. But she is obviously regretting it, though a little late, and I have nothing read that indicates she was a bad mother to their daughter.

So my take would be that Bob should probably divorce Elaine, but doesn't "burn" her in the process. And maybe after that just maybe, if Elaine really have regretting things, proven herself trustworthy and loving him as she claims she does, Bob and Elaine could maybe explore if there anything left for them as a couple, if they maybe could start anew together with their daughter. That would be some kind of a "happy-end", if you want one. I personally would appreciate. So, yeah I would favor a reconciliation in the end. Call me wimp if you want I don't care.

I can understand staying together for the child's sake, but it seems to me that he's wimping out already.

I think it is 'n interesting story - not just plain sex but a good story line. And you don't have to be a wimp to reconcile, just a bit grown up will do (for those who want to burn the wife!).

Not a good mother at all. Teaching the daughter to have sex outside of marriage. So she has been a whore for 2 god damn years, trading pussy for a signature on a real estate deal. We are supposed to be oh so happy that it was only 20 men in 24 months. What did cuckie say, less than 1 a month, but she did do some multiple times. Dump the whore but use the recording to put them in jail. Still a -1

eat shit dear annony!!

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

and his dumbass 1 vote and what ever the fuck he is trying to say!! Which is meaningless!!

WHY in the HELL would he ever consider getting back to her sometime in the future? The point here is, she didn't think it was a big deal. That right there tells me there is something wrong with this cunt.

this story is starting to get really interesting if the fact that he has his former job somewhat on his back, the new job which hopefully leads to better things for him and what he is really going to do about his wife. in this chapter it seems she is really coming clean with herself and with her husband. she seems to know how he feels and is not trying to bullshit him on anything so far. but how long will she go with the truth? hope for the next chapter soon

Navy seal? Check!

Super hot executive secretary waiting in the wings to fuck the brains out of our hero? Check!

Other hot women popping out of the woodwork to seduce our hero? Check!

Wacko slutty wife weeping because she messed up her marriage to the best man in the world? Check!

Humble nerd hero who doesn't realize he's actually god's gift to women? Check!

Okay! Carry on Mr Author!

Interesting story but instead of guessing why don't he just make her tell all the guys names and details from his old company's fuck fest. If he's looking for revenge he's gonna need to know

made me laugh also I like the story... Carry on, ignor me.

His wife is soo skanky, did all that she did and his dick gets hard? Lmao I'll quit here too much for me not very well written anyway. I think this is meant as a stroke story for the cuckold wimp niche. I mean she is so gross I just skimmed the sex parts with a shudder. To each their own tho thanx for the effort!

“I never considered what I was doing as ‘cheating’ on Bob.” – It’s not “cheating” because you didn’t want to leave him? Cheating is having sex with someone other than the person you’re married too; your long-term plans don’t matter.

“Wasn't he on board with you partying with us?” – NO, she just didn’t give a fuck (figuratively, not literally!).

She’s got his blackmail attempt on record. And I’m sure at least some of them have as much to lose if that video gets out as she does.

"Listen, we have to talk," – NOW she wants to talk; maybe they should have talked before she decided to become a corporate whore!

nice to know where those lazy spooks are wasting our tax dollars

anal eye zing ... fcking fiction to death on the Literotica website instead of chasing terro wrists .....

for fuck sake sbrooks (and a few others) it's just a fictional story

calm down , take your medication , go heavy on the antacids & maybe book yourself in with a new therapist

lmao

An author who thinks he can write good srories but he is only a looser!! His thinking is so terrible that you can only laugh about it!!! She slept with 20 men and he is still in on her!!! Divorce that slut sue the whole company and the two-timer and go on with your life!! But that's not your fantasy. You are in cuckolding and wimp!!!

Dont read that crap!! Its only for perverts (cuckolds) or brain sick ones!!

Nice read for me.

Unclear to me why Elaine hasn’t attempted suicide or suicided.

She has LOST EVERYTHING after all. EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Delusional wife. Characters are walking cliches.