All Comments on 'Cougar Circuit Audition'

Only in fiction. Thank for the read.

I like the story line. I think you should keep exploring it a little further. Maybe the mother - son relationship.

A wonderfully sexy story -- I loved every word of it. Please continue with these characters -- they deserve it!

5 stars and a favourite!

Judy what a bitch in heat..give of more of this cougar cunt..

I would love to read more stories about the women of the Cougar Circuit.

Great Story!!!

"(A)dmiring her own 5'9" frame." Seems clear she's by herself. WHO ELSE COULD she be admiring?

Have you ever seen a woman who's butt didn't swing when she walked? Even the uptight women swing.

"'I... um, I'm guessing you don't me the animal.'"

"'Mmm, look what I found," she sighed with a moan. "Time for me to get taste.'"

At first I thought you were dropping a word or two was appropriate. I like that and it seems natural. These suggest you can't read or write.

Take your dick out of your hand a reread what you have before posting. You'll be better off for this. The story's hot, but you have to be a better writer.

You have a great concept with a lot of promise but you need to proofread! There are enough awkward sentences and small errors throughout to make a strong story difficult to read. I'm eager for more.

Who else belongs to the club?

As did one of the other commenters, but I also agree with him, you need to proofread. This was an interesting story, but it read like the script to a low budget porn film. In all seriousness, read your work over and over til you're sick of it. I don't post a story on here that I have not read over at least four or five times, and spellchecked-and even then, when I look at the published story, I always find an error. Always. Check your work.

The premise is interesting-I hope there will be more of these coming, and we'll get to meet some of the other cougars, too. BTW, 38 DD and bald pussy-not another one!!

EXCELLENT WRITING..!!

You need to continue this in a series..!! HOTTTT Concept..!!!

There were a few grammar and wording issues but nothing to detract from How HOTTt this was.....

If you need/want someone to assist in that are, contact me and lets discuss..!!

JIM

dommasterjim@yahoo.com

You got more than one favorite per thousand views, which means there are plenty who like what you're doing. The story as is, is not bad. But it is carried by sucking and fucking, fortunately including decent dialog. If you want to progress into a higher echelon of writing, the story must carry by the plot. I kept waiting for Judy to give Marcus a description and explanation of the Cougar Circuit. I think this idea has been carried out on Literotica before, except maybe not with a formalized club or circuit. This is where you had the advantage with a great idea but dropped the ball by not developing it. This idea of a cougar club merits exploration with further chapters. How did it start? Do the cougars have meetings? Maybe give us a sample of one. Is it enough to pass one tryout or does the applicant tryout with another cougar? Is the tryout enough, or is the applicant brought up at a Cougar Circuit meeting (assuming such a thing)? If an applicant is iffy or just inexperienced, is there a training program to bring him up to par? Maybe there are ladies who enjoy educating a trainee and others who only want an already capable guy. There could be ladies who have particular desires/fetishes paired with boy-toys with similar skills/inclinations. There could be a cougar who wants 2 or more boys at once. Maybe they would entertain a request from a boy-toy for 2 cougars at once -- possibly cougars he has already been with individually.

I refer you to the trilogy of series by Contrasting: Making/Sharing/Extending the MILF List, a total of 43 chapters. I actually quit without finishing all 43 chapters -- too much of a good thing (probably a lesson there). But I think it gives some ideas for carrying out an extensive series on a somewhat similar theme.

To me, the really good writers (Rehnquist - yes!, Just Plain Bob, Cat5, Ohio, Thucydides, Malraux - yes, yes!, Longhorn_07, MoogPlayer, Baxter72 and others I do not know or remember) carry forward great stories with the plot and excellent storytelling skills, supported by sex. They are the few -- the cream -- at the top of the mass of so-so and poor and bad writers on Literotica.

Paul in Oklahoma