All Comments on 'Courtship by Proxy'

I'm still confused as to why Uncle Mike and the others went along with Karen/Bubble's plan to trick Kyle. Cutting off contact with Kyle didn't make her love him any less. It seems like it added more stress, hurt and drama then needed. I guess in her confused mind she needed it to go her way to establish she could accomplish something on her own even though it was a bit crazy.

If it had been me, Cammy, would have been left "high and dry" at the airport. As for Karen Mayes, she could have it her way.....at Burger King.

Kudos to the author for the detail and hard work. However, that cannot overcome a story that is ultimately repulsive. Kyle was honest in his love, but Karen was the worst kind of bitch. Manipulation is the trademark of frauds and con artists, not someone who lost their love. Coupled with the CIA science fiction crap, this was not worth the long read.

I am sorry but I would have burned the so called ' companions'. Espcially when I was in the field that Kyle is. When someone like cammy would insinuate herself into a business deal like she did I would have had her arrested and called the client not to have any contact with her what soever. The deal with Tara. WTF was Linda thinkng giving her a key so she could drop her stuff off. I wouldhave kicked her ass out and revoked any Linda priviliges. Karen had problems? Man, I would have felt violated after this.

YMMV.

Give credit for an unusual plot. Tough to work with characters like these. Original.

Thank you. I wondered when you posted that there were other stories posted and there was only one. I look forward to others.

3.5 stars for the writing

4 stars for the editing

Character development was adequate but as they developed they became people I would distance myself from or ignore. They only lessons they, and by extension the author, had to teach were negative. -2 stars

The plot came off as being quirky for the sake of being quirky and did not hold my interest, by the bottom of page four I was thinking "Are we there yet?" the only reason if persevered was because I enjoyed "His Daddy's Car" and thought this story would get better. I was wrong. -2 stars

I did not find the story to be mysterious, romantic or amusing. -2 stars

+7.5 - 6 = 1.5 rounds up to 2 stars

I found this story quirky and intriguing. I give it a solid 5 stars myself since i thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

But your spelling and grammar caused me to wince in a more than a few places: eg. the past tense of drag is dragged, not drug. If this THEN that. More THAN,less THAN - not more THEN. If this THEN that

There were others that were like fingernails down a chalkboard - they set my teeth on edge. Even if you have an editor, you need your spelling and grammar checked!

...that so many people have such difficulty with the concept of 'Fiction'. As in "Not Real Life'.

This story (see 'Made-Up') was unbelievable and that is why I enjoyed it so much. Kyle and Karen as two caricatures of perpetual adolescents who never matured. A Modern Urban Fantasy that amused me to puzzle out.

I must congratulate the author, BB. That even with the clue of Karen's symposium where she revealed uses for her nano-tech research. Even then I failed to realize that all the escorts were the same woman. A damn clever plot twist!

For those commentators who engage in hysterical infantile tantrums when the WRITER chooses the Plot for their Fictional Characters to be entrapped in. Your misogynist hatred exposes you as pathetic spelunking trolls.

I realize your world-view of yourself is to project your pitiful self as the Saintly Pious Man whose wretched life was destroyed by the Evil Vaginal Woman.

FYI, the stories about 69EEEE breasts and 16"long x 12"diameter penises that shoot a gallon of jizz every ten minutes on demand, along with fairies and werewolves and dragons and honest Republican politicians riding in on magical FOXes to save White Purity from the Evil Darky are, one and all, NOT TRUE. As in imaginary and made up fables.

Here's why.

The two protagonists Kyle and Karen) are presented as lacking emotional self-awareness and maturity. This is the whole rationale for the 15 year long crisis and their respective ruined lives.

At the same time the dialog between Kyle and the proxy sisters is at a rational level that reads as though they're all robots. They analyze feelings with clinical precision in such a way as to make the story emotionally sterile. Several professions of deep love as Kyle falls in and out of it with one sister after another. Yet the robotic dialog neuters the presumed feelings.

So, how are such rational and self-aware individuals (Karen in particular, to cook up this convoluted game in the first place) the same people as the clueless immature people who created the problem in the first place?

It would have made more sense, even without the SF (nanotechnology) tint to the story if the game had been set up by a third party, with both Kyle and Karen the victims/beneficiaries.

Case in point: the film "The Game" from 1997, starring Michael Douglas.

It could ahve been fun.

gee fanfare liberal bias much?for those of us that can read a FAKE story and know the difference we still would like a little bit of how dumb can you be taken out of it.would you really forgive a woman/man that destroyed you as a teen just because they were in love with you.we call those people nut jobs.when he found out that all the "sisters" were her that should have been enough to walk away.when his best friends wife who was also a lifelong friend let some crazy bitch into his place that would have been 1 friend down the drain.when he tried to get closure with karen and she swore to get him how could he even be near her and his friends helped her,fuck them and their crazy asses.for all they knew she really could have been a nut job and WANTED TO KILL HIM.hell i had to skip the last 3 pages out of is it over yet syndrome.

but just too predictable. I rated it a 5 because of the effort and detail but it just didn't work for me. I'm out.

You have some writing talent. BUT! I have an unfortunate feeling that you are a typical Literotica male narcissist. Try not to write adolescent wish fulfillment. You might actually be able to write something good. Just try to dial back the "I am the undiscovered superhero" garbage. Odd idea: women are real people?

Loved the plot and characters. Well crafted story that requires careful reading to pick up all the hints about the female protagonist. Very enjoyable.

The body parts might not have been supersized, but everything in life was. The Uncle, The Million$, The nano technology, The "you don't have high enough security clearance to know about that secret military mission", Her job, His job, The reserved first class airline seat, etc., etc., etc.

It could have been great if those pesky errors in grammar didn't keep exploding the moment. Others have listed some but here are a few from me:

People shudder, they don't have shutters attached to their bodies.

Jest is humour, gist is understanding the concept.

She and her mother, not, Her and her mother,

you would not say her went to the store, oops, maybe you would.

oh well.

That one statement is all the reason any sensible man needs to never again have anything to do with the woman who says it.

I am an old guy, not particularly smart or clever but ! see a kernal of truth. Reading something like this struck a cord. When i was young, it was part lust and part love. Everything was possible. Thanks for reminding me that even a story can elevate a spirit to the point that even time cannot diminish the possibility of love forever.

The mystery kept me reading. It's utter nonsense. It became clear pretty early that Bubbles had to be Karen. The sci-fi tech to explain the proxies brought a fresh level of farce. Karen as portrayed remained narcissistic, fear driven, manipulative, dishonest and controlling. For her, Kyle was not a person, but a possession. Others have commented on the errors. Sloppy. I regret the time spent reading this. I'm annoyed with my mulish perseverance.

The whole sisrerhood hijacking of Kyle's life speaks too much of disrespect, disregard and arrogance, that I won't empathize at all with the perpetrator, perpetrators and willing or semi willing victim of this charade. Thanks, but not interested.

I ran out of interest in this story by the end of the first page so I didn't rate it.

You are such a good writer but I found this childish. I even skipped pages in an attempt to get to a good part.

At least I can say I enjoyed your other postings.

I loved it!! Thanks!!!

story was interesting but too drawn out

I love this story and can't even remember how many times I have enjoyed reading it.

I do like Heavy Traffic and His Daddy's Car, but this one is crap. There's just no way to suspend belief for this one to be remotely plausible.

Even for fiction, this one is too much.. what a cold blooded creature she is, and so weak willed as to be totally untrustworthy he is.

Your other stories rank near the top of my list of Literotica's best, but this one...no. Please go back to writing characters I can at least pretend to understand and respect.

You exposed Karen Mayes way too soon.

I had the mysterious woman gigured out who was in love with Kyle before I hardly started the second page.

I like the story but would have preferred it to remain a mystery longer.

Interesting, I guess. I really think that Karen needs to stay out of his business, when he's "on the clock" as it were. Also she needs to stop the games, the deception and the drama. And keep it stopped. She seems to be having difficulty letting him have anything on his terms. Thus far she's been overbearing, controlling and even more than a bit disrespectful. I know this is just a story, but she's got a lot of bad habits to part with if this thing is going to work. If it were me, She'd be on the receiving end of a soft spoken but firm ultimatum, to permanently ditch all of the manipulative games, BEFORE she could have a hope in hell of wearing my ring.

I think she's owes him a pizza of his choosing from Ciro's Pizza and she needs to pay for it out of her own pocket. Just saying.

15 pages with a crazy controlling diabolical woman stalking Kyle!! SHE NEEDS MENTAL HELP

I have to be honest here BobbyBrandt. Damn, your good! Your work is incredible! I can't wait to read more! Hey, how about more on Karen's appearance modification, that could be interesting.

Hmmm, not sure if I like this or not. I thought she was seriously mentally I’ll, schizophrenia or similar. Ended ok, but wobbled in the middle.

The last couple of pages were okay but the relentless stalking by a psychopath throughout the rest of the story was not entertaining and I would never have read it if it had not been written by you.

Your attempt to rationalize the ongoing actions of Karen was a failure. The nanobots explanation was lame and totally over the top and felt like a desperate device to try and cobble together a even half credible or believable fairytale.

So many contradictions, not the least of which is - "trust is built best from pro-active honesty between two people".... This story was the antithesis of that statement. There are a multitude of additional examples.

Not sure what you were thinking when you wrote this but I hope it is out of your system for good.

I normally enjoy reading your work, but this was an uncomfortable experience. The female lead(s) just scream emotional toxicity for the male lead, and the rather doormat acceptance of the manipulation by him is just wrong. Well written as normal, but not my cup of tea.

I would run a mile a minute to get away from her!!! After I called the Military Police. How could anyone trust a woman who would do all that? I'd be afraid to wake up as she thrust the kitchen knife into my heart for some infringement her demented mind thought up at some time in the future. Muskyboy said it all ""trust is built best from pro-active honesty between two people".... This story was the antithesis of that statement." I'm disappointed to see this from you.

Reminds me of that important rule: “Don’t stick your dick in crazy!”

I read the first 4 pages and had to stop. This kind of crazy doesn't make for long term relationships. I love your writing usually, but this one is horrible.