by suidward
Very rushed, too short, and not vivid enough. Dialogue was very cheesey, and as a result, not believable. It distracted from any potential that the story may have had. Lindsay (in her prime) is indeed very hot, and has/had a gorgeous body. In that sense, a decent picture was painted.
However, to me, the story was spoiled by how quick, under-developed, and undescriptive the prose was. Adding more emotion, sensation, and detail to the sex scene can help.
Love the one shot deal, pardon the pun. Made for a great work break, and really showed off the slutty side we all think makes up most of her!
Lindsay is a great topic, however the story lacks a build up to the climax..
The language is very poor...
I wish you better luck next time!! Thanks for posting the story...