Crazy In Love

'but, I hear you are married.'

For a long moment, there was only silence. Shit! Fuck me!

I was about to ask if she was still there when her voice finally came, 'Ellis, when I come back on Friday I'm going to meet you. I'll wait by your door. If you want to, please meet me.'

Her voice sounded so drenched with sorrow so disappointed I felt a lump forming inside my throat. It was a hard decision to make.

'Meaghan,' I closed my eyes and felt tears streaming, 'I need to tell you a lot too.'

All my life I had taken decisions of my own. Nobody, even Graham, had ever tried to put his decisions on me. Other than being my life support his contribution in my life as parenting figure was nil. It's not that I cared. I am basically an introvert one. I know what my piece of cake is and I had always been centred to eat it, by any means.

I had money, I was in my mid twenties; I had always been called an attractive one. So I used them all whenever I needed; shamelessly at times.

No, I don't regret any of my decision. Even Olivia had a good reason to leave her family. And I don't take myself solely responsible for her death. Call me cruel, but what she did was impulsive.

But whenever I thought about Meaghan's, I had absolutely no reason to trust her. I was even forecasted about her bring the 'bad girl's. Hell, even I used to be bad girl!

The problem was I just couldn't stop myself to think about her.

That night she made me promise to meet her on Saturday for breakfast. I had taken the day off so it was okay for me. She asked me to meet at the small diner near my office. Don't ask where she got my office address.

Friday night passed with tormented sleep followed by the nightmare; I saw her pulling me out from the car. I looked up and saw those eyes. Those beautiful forest green eyes. They were pained, feelings almost torn up. I tilted my head up to kiss her. Before I could reach my sleep broke.

I lay on my bed for a long time. I couldn't find any answer where my life was heading.

Around 9 I just emerged from shower when I realized my phone had been ringing from quite a long time. When I answered it was her at opposite end.

'why is it you never answer my call quickly?'

I couldn't help but laugh, 'may be I want you to wait.'

'waiting by your door actually.'

'what?! Where are you?'

'just outside. Waiting by the blue Nissan.'

Is she crazy? I sprinted towards the window by roadside. Indeed there was a blue SUV parked by the opposite pavement. Meaghan was leaning against it. A white plain tee and a pair of faded blue jeans clad my Mediterranean beauty was smiling at me. Her shapely legs seemed never-ending completed with leather boots. Her brown mess of hair neatly tucked in a simple ponytail. She looked so simple yet so gorgeous I could just stand by the window and watch all day.

She waved her hand.

'what are you doing here?' I squealed over phone, unable to contain my joy.

'couldn't heart to wait in an abandoned diner.' she sighed.

'you could have said so earlier. I just got out from shower!'

'well, i can see you are more than ready. Not for breakfast though.'

Fuck! I was barely covered by bathrobe only.

'oh! Yeah, can you please come in? I was about to get ready.'

I threw open my bathrobe and put on a pair of casual pants with a floral printed lime yellow top. By the time she rang my doorbell I had donned my hair and looked comparatively presentable.

I opened the door and the site soothed my sore eyes. She had done a little make up around her eyes and a hint of lip gloss made her absolutely flawless. I shamelessly drank her beauty in.

She coughed a little playfully when kept on standing with my mouth hanging open. Blushing furiously, I ushered her to come in.

I was standing with my back to her locking the door when I felt her coming behind me. And when I say I felt, I mean literally I shuddered with goose bumps realizing the heat emanating from her body. Her hands came up resting on both of my arms. She pulled me a little towards her and kissed my ear.

'you look amazing Ellis, thanks for letting me in.'

Her hot breath muffled with my mildly wet hairs. My consciousness received challenge to stand right. I never felt sexual tension so thickly. If she wished she could have me right here, right now.

I could barely utter a 'thank you' before her lips claimed possession of mine. She felt so wet so warm so delicious under mine.

A moan emanated between us, I don't know from whom. Oh! I was reawakened from the starvation of lifetime.

I turned in her arms. She was nearly four inches taller than me. So I encircled my arms around her neck. She pulled me in tighter grip and held me settled with her hands firm on my hips.

I was flooded with sensations. I wanted more of her. I needed all of her.

Our tongues dwelled in harmony, reaching every corner of each other's mouth; pulling sucking licking biting. God! I was never so wet just from a kiss.

The heated passion gradually decreased with much time. Damn! This girl could kiss!

'that's I call a welcome kiss.' she smiled kissing my nose.

I giggled and pulled her in a soft hug. Wow! She felt amazing in my arms.

We stayed like that for a long moment forgetting why she was here. Then I broke apart a little. I was blushing so furiously that I couldn't even meet her eyes.

'just wait here for a minute. I'm gonna go grab my purse.' With that I sped towards bedroom.

Meaghan took me to a park not far from my apartment. When I asked about breakfast she said I didn't need to worry for that. When we parked the car and got out, she removed a picnic basket from rear. I tried to sneak a look inside the basket but I was held back by her.

'patience woman!' her voice low and throaty she rebuked. For an unknown reason, my heart decided to flip flop briefly.

She took me to her favourite corner of the park. It was indeed a beautiful place for picnic. Just near the lake there were some really tall trees. She put the cloth on soft grass placed the basket in middle and ushered me to sit first.

After we both sat she pulled out two plastic plates and started serving the foods. She didn't know what I loved for breakfast so she brought almost everything. There were cereals, beacon, milk, juice, apples, scrambled eggs, raspberries almost everything you could expect for breakfast.

I felt touched. I had experience of having a royal breakfast somewhere very elegant but never felt this warmth. The care she showed simply by arranging a breakfast for me meant more than anything.

I felt the sobs coming. I couldn't hold back anymore. Then there was the dream I just dreamt other night. Before I could control tears streamed down drop by drop.

Meaghan reached out and touched my hand. I gulped hard but the lump in my throat didn't dilute.

'why are you doing this for me?' I whispered.

Meaghan came around to sit next to me. She sat keeping a space and I already missed her warmth against me.

'because I never did this with anyone else.'

I waited, I needed time to hear. I needed more to hear.

She pulled my head to look at her. When I did I saw those green pools, so much like this garden; yet so deeply sorrowful.

'I meet girls over drinks. I meet them in night club, booze. I never cared to learn their last name. Half of it I don't even know the first. Hell! Ellis, I never showed interest in anyone so much other than you. Not even for my lawfully wedded wife.'

'then, why Me?' I couldn't help but ask.

'I don't know Ellis, really. But my heart keeps telling me to be with you when ever you are not. I never knew I did even posses a heart before I met you. But then you just, came.'

I can't remember whether she pulled me or I scooted closer, but when I opened my eyes I was briefly nestled inside her arms. I sighed feeling her warmth against me. She smelled so clean, so amazingly fresh.

When she didn't say anymore I encouraged her, 'tell me more about you.'

She laughed out. Her laugh muffled inside her chest making me more eager to hear her heartbeat as she proceeded to talk.

'I'm Meaghan Belle Jenkins. I'm a production manager at D&G Ltd. Last month I celebrated my 25th birthday and I'm absolutely single desperately waiting for divorce paper to arrive.'

I sighed a little and settled comfortably deeper inside her arms.

'and?' she asked kissing on top of my hairs.

'hmm? What?'

'aren't you gonna tell me about you.'

'Ellis Wanton. Employed. 24 and single. No marriages till now.'

She started laughing uncontrollably. I was becoming love sick to her musical sound. Corners of my lips curled to form a smile.

'what!' I asked punching her belly playfully. Then she pushed me away. I got up and lavished her rear side hardly. She squalled away, surprised. Then with a determination she grabbed me by hand and landed me briefly on ground. She put both her knees by my side and tickled me mercilessly. God! I hate tickles. Within a moment I was squashed like jelly breathing heavily, tears streamed down my face.

'stop! Stop!' I could barely breathe.

She hissed in my ear, her fingers deeply settled on my waist.

'say mercy.'

Oh God! The domme in her was so fucking on command.

I decided to play along. But then came the tickle tornado. And I decided to give in.

'mercy mercy', I yelled out.

Her mouth was a mere inch away from me. She murmured against my lips, 'ask nicely.' her voice very throaty, very low, very very sexy.

I looked at her eyes. They were greenest shade of dark green. They threatened me somehow. They aroused me even more.

'please Meaghan' my lips brushed against her, 'don't tease me more.'

She just brushed her lips against mine and then got up. God no! I wanted a proper kiss. Hell I wanted far more than just a kiss!

'noo' I tried to pull her to me.

She resisted against me and easily pulled me upright. Shit! This girl was much stronger than I expected.

'no, no more making out for now.' she handed me the plate again and started serving the food, 'it's time to feed that little monster in here.' with that she tickled my belly a little.

I let out a frustrating sigh and took the plate she offered. Yum! The food looked delicious. I could not wait to dig in.

That morning over breakfast she told me more about her. Meaghan was only child of her parents. She was part Russian and part Iranian; thus being a perfect blend of two races. After graduation she joined D&G Ltd as an intern. Later she was recruited as manager. When I asked about how she ended up at Stella's party, she said she became friends with Stella about a couple of years ago over business meetings. Two of our companies share a good professional relationship. So Stella became good friend of her in no time.

'Stella told you about my marriage. Isn't it?'

I looked up at her, scrutinizing any discomfort. There were none.

I nodded my head.

'I married Julian impulsively. I was not even in love with her. God! I don't even remember liking her. Yes, sex with her was earth shattering but nothing else. How I ended up marrying her I can't remember. One moment I was not sure about even meeting her and then I was married, to her.' Meaghan placed her green sad eyes on my face and said, 'I regret that decision everyday. Believe me that was a year ago. And we both want this divorce like anything. She was never right for me, neither was I for her.'

I took her palm in my hands and put a gentle pressure, 'it's all right sweetie. Even in my life I did my share of guilt too. I have no explanation for that. They never have actually.'

As I kept on looking at her I could read the buzzing question about my life. I should tell her about me.

Out of nowhere a surge of panic grabbed me. I could feel a hammer against the wall I had been putting around my heart for so long. It scared me. I couldn't let her know everything about me. I just could not.

I abruptly got up. I knew if I stayed there for a moment I'd spill every naked truth of my pathetic life. I know after I lose myself to her, she was going to leave me. So I had to run. Run for your life Ellis. Run!

Ellis!

Ellis!

Someone yanked me back.

Her hands held me on my shoulder.

'what happened? Why are you walking away out of nowhere?'

I couldn't tell her. Nothing.

'Ellis, are you upset about everything I told you?' I looked at her face. That beautiful face was broken with pain. So much pain.

I wanted to reach up and kiss those quivering lips. But I couldn't. I needed time to think.

'Ellis please! Say something. Anything.'

Meaghan, love me back if I fall for you.

'I don't feel okay. Can you take me home? Please?'

I could feel the storm raging inside her. And I waited for the explosion.

'okay. Let me drive you home.'

The next week went as the worst days of my life. I was putting myself on torture. But I couldn't gather courage to face her. Meaghan called me countless times, left messages on phone. She begged forgiveness if she had hurt me. In a voice message she almost cried asking me why I was shutting her off so coldly. I cried myself to death but couldn't call her back.

As the week went by frequency of her calls lessened. I was almost glad that she was giving up hope on me. It relieved me from confession.

Saturday evening saw me driving myself to home. I let out a sigh. I didn't know what shit of life I was living. I had no family, not a friend to cling onto. Even Stella avoided me from that day after our conversation. It didn't matter. It never mattered actually. I always push the people who try to come near me.

I know I'm a loser, a coward to run from love. But love always hurt me so much that I couldn't take more.

For the thousand times in this week my eyes welled up with tears. Fuck! I wanted Meaghan! I wanted her so much that it hurt all over.

Somehow I made through my apartment. I felt so tired, not from work only. It became punishment being alive.

I parked my car in the basement, got outside and then locked. Before I could turn someone covered my mouth with hands and dragged me inside a car nearby. I was so scared that I forgot to yell. My heart thumped fanatically inside my chest ready to come out.

In the dim light of dashboard I determined silhouette of a very beautiful woman. My woman. Meaghan!

She was probably asking me something. But I couldn't focus. It was so overwhelmingly emotional that I couldn't even figure.

Then she was grabbed my head and merged her lips with me. For an instant I was puzzled. But then I was kissing her equally. Involuntarily my body knew what I'd want. I was ravishing her mouth as eagerly as she was doing on me.

After an eternity of tongue duel she finally broke free. I looked at the glorious mess in front of me. Her hairs were dishevelled, her lipstick destroyed but she looked absolutely amazing to me. God! I missed her so much.

'you were not listening. I had to kiss you to bring you back on earth.'

I couldn't say anything. Suddenly I felt very cold. I needed her warmth so much.

'Ellis, please say something. I can't take your silence anymore.' She pleaded, 'please tell me what it is. Why are you avoiding me?'

My walls threatened to fall down. She was hammering the dam repeatedly making it hard to take.

'Ellis, tell me to go away and I'll never come in front of you. But please don't push me away for some reason I can't even figure out.'

Silence.

'Ellis, are you even listening to me?'

I took her hand in mine and smiled tiresomely, 'come to my apartment.'

She took me out from the car and led towards elevator. Once inside she put her arms around me. I put my head on her shoulder and sighed. I had to give in. I couldn't fight with my heart anymore. She hugged me tightly and kissed on forehead.

This was so new to me. As I sat on sofa with my legs tucked underneath me and my body securely embraced by Meaghan, I tried to remember any incident similar to this. I was happy some how that I didn't share such an intimacy with anyone else. Her heart kept on beating in a steady speed and I realized that's my favourite lullabies to sleep. I sighed and scooted closer.

Meaghan tucked the corner of quilt a little and asked, 'are you sleepy, sweetheart?'

My heart did jump. She just called me sweetheart!

I could only nod in response to that.

'okay, let us move to the bed then.' she put her glass down on the centre table, got up and pulled me on feet. She looked at my face dreamily and kissed softly on my lips, 'you look so sleepy.'

I hummed in contentment and circled my arms around her as she kissed me. Oh! I love kissing this woman! This amazing woman.

After I asked her to come to my apartment we both got settled on sofa with a glass of wine. I needed support of wine to confess my life. As I kept on telling my reasons for avoiding her I got lost in memories. None, even Stella knew all of it. I was opening myself naked to her. I, being an extremely introvert girl, was facing difficulties at times. The more I told, the lost I was getting. When I ended I was crying my heart out in her chest. Her long strong arms securely covered me with her warmth all over. She kissed my tears and I saw tears in her eyes too. After I stopped she just held me there, in her arms and said nothing. She didn't move away, she didn't hate me. To my extreme surprise she didn't even utter a word. She just soothed me with everything she got.

She put me on bed, tucked the sheets all around and kissed on my forehead. But when she tried to get up I clutched her arm, 'please, stay with me tonight.'

She kept on looking at me, 'are you sure? '

'yes. If you leave, these ghosts won't let me sleep tonight.'

She smiled a little and then kissed on my lips, 'I'll keep your ghosts shut then.'

After a quick trip to bathroom she discarded her jeans and came inside comforter. I tried not to be obvious but her gorgeously tanned legs and a beautiful site of pantie clad butt made my lungs breathless for a moment.

But I needed her soul more than her body for tonight. So when she scooted just near me I pulled her even closer. I turned my back to her and she hugged me from behind. I felt so right against her. She intertwined her legs in between mine and I sighed in contentment.

For the first time in a long time, I was going to have sleep without any nightmare.

I was sure, because she said she'd keep my ghosts away. And I trusted her.

Next morning I woke up with a bursting bladder. Carefully untangling myself from my vividly asleep beautiful, I locked myself in bathroom and released myself. I was still wearing clothes from work. So I discarded them and went inside comforter just in bra and panties. I set alarm for six and turned to my lover. She was sleeping flat with her face away from me. Her hairs sprawled all over pillow featuring a glorious aura around her. The neckline of the top she had been wearing came down exposing most of her neck and right shoulder.

So many partners in my life and I couldn't remember me finding any of them so beautiful. This girl, Meaghan, I didn't even know her a month back and now as she was laying there in my bed so close to me, I felt I Knew her all my life.

I felt an irresistible urge to touch her skin. I knew I was risking it all but I didn't care.

I touched her forehead to remove a raven lock. I lifted it and tucked behind her ear. I touched her earlobe and traced my finger along her cheek and jaw line.

She hummed in her sleep and smiled as if she liked it.

Her lips stayed curl alluring to indulge my lips inside them. I could disturb her sleep, I could wake her up, but I didn't care. I wanted to let her know what happened inside me when she stayed this close.