All Comments on 'Creating a Redheaded Monster Ch. 02'

This had a much more satisfying ending than I was expecting. Sorry about your injury . Hope you are better soon .

I really enjoyed this chapter and how it finished your story.

I'm glad that you had Mona figure out for herself that the doctor was wrong. Even though she was having emotional problems, her feelings for Scot were already manifest BEFORE her family was murdered, so when the doctor was preaching his bull crap about Scot and Emma taking advantage of Mona in her moment of weakness, he had made an incorrect diagnosis based on stereotype. I'm glad that Mona stood steadfast against that programming.

But later on, you brought Anne into the harem only to have her leave and marry Jake. That was totally messed up from beginning to end. 😕 The three best choices were (a) Anne accepted the news about Mona without judgment, supporting Emma and Mona's love for each other but never becomes bisexual or a part of Scot's harem. She meets Jake, falls in love with him and they later marry or (b) Anne, already crushing on Emma falls for Scot and Mona too and becomes a permanent member of the harem. Jake finds some other girl to marry and all three girls make babies with Scot or (c) Anne and Emma let Scot know about their attraction for each other and Anne fills in for Mona until she finishes the therapy and shows up. Anne never becomes a permanent member of the harem, being just a fuck buddy until Mona comes home. She meets Jake and they marry.

Having Anne be a temporary part of the harem then leaving to be with Jake was a horrible plot for the story.

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Now I fully realize that this is a work of fiction but still and all, the following line was absolutely absurd:

"The night that Mona became pregnant, she knew that was the one that did the trick."

Seriously? You have Mona verbally declare that she is getting off of the pill and magically that same night Scot successfully knocks her up? Get real. At least when Emma gets pregnant, you made it sound like she finished the prescription for that month, had her period, then a couple of weeks later she gets pregnant. That was at least believable. I'm sorry, but the best that I could give you on this one is 4/5.