All Comments on 'Crime & Punishment: The Prequel Ch. 08'

The women's portrayals from start of installment to its finish, in terms of owning 3 dimensions despite disparate goals and,d motivations were awesome.

Full marks * * * * *

2 chapters so soon.

Keep them coming, RG!!

Great work!

It will hold our intention because of it roots and because New York State is known to so many of us.

The major danger any author must be worry about, when trying to retell one of their old stories, but from a different perspective, is to make sure to not screw up the original narrative of their work. The timeline must match with the new scenes created; original characters' descriptions/motivations must remains the same; most of the locations must be known; etc. This must be done properly and carefully, otherwise the old readers, who're well aware of how most of it will turn out, will start noticing situations that doesn't jell with what the author initially came up with. One of the best known examples in popular culture of such an issue is, of course, the "Star Wars" prequels, who had a hard time matching its outcome with some of the elements of the original trilogy (Lea telling Luke that she remembers their mother crying when she was young, when Padme, their mom, died in childbirth...)

So yeah - all this to say this chapter (and the previous one, frankly) created some big continuity issues in the C&P saga.

I already bitched enough about the whole 'Frank Patterson is now black' thing, so moving on...

The conversation Theresa Hartman had Susan Singleton here makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, chronologically speaking. If Pt. 04 of the first C&P is cannon, and therefore the timeline to be respected, then Susan won't learn about Pat going to juvy and Steven not telling her about it well after Laura raped her husband (oh yeah, she raped Patrick - read the end of Pt. 03), so she could get knocked up and force him to stay married to her cheating ass.

Given that, in the previous installment of this new series, Laura just got dumped by her husband, we are therefore nowhere near the day of the elections, where Pat survived the drive-by Patterson set up against him, which made him temporally unable to defend him from his wayward wife's sexual assault, which made her pregnant, which forced them to live together in unhappy harmony, which made her set her kitchen on fire, which made her commiserate to her BBF Susan how hot she now found her husband, now that she learned her was a juvenile delinquent (yeah, this is all spoilers, but, if you haven't read the first C&P yet, THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE????)... So how on God's green Earth could Susan be the least bit surprise about such a revelation if she already knew about MONTHS ago!? Is there a reason why she didn't tell her best friend about Patrick saving Steven from a pedo priest, since Laura obviously had no idea why he was sent to juvy? Why did she pretend she didn't know? And, if she already knew, then why was the following phrase written:

"Then a thought struck Susan, her husband must have known, but never said anything."

If that conversation with Theresa already took place, SHE KNOWS WHY! At least, she should - I don't see her not confronting Steven about getting such a secret from her.

So, obviously... the timeline is screwed up. Time to call Marty McFly, The Doctor, Rick & Morty, hell even Bill & Ted or Buckaroo Banzai, 'cause we need some serious time/dimension travelers to restore some balance in this one!

Otherwise... yeah, I guess this was a good chapter. Don't know about the rest of the readers, but I'm having a ridiculously hard time, mustering any sympathy whatsoever for anyone involve in this story... the exception being Steven Fitzgerald. Love Foxy ever since the original story, and pretty much am rooting for him to get away with as much unethical actions as he can come up with. Pat and him are still the true heroes of this saga, in my book. As of all the other characters in this tale? They can all burn in a dumpster fire, for all I care - and yeah, that includes Jim Sullivan (nope, got no problem with him being a supposedly shady - is there any other kind? - but I do have a HUGE problem with this balless wonder still waiting for SOMETHING - God knows what - before officially divorcing his poor excuse of a wife!)

Every single individuals, in this tale full of sociopaths, are to reprehensible and, even worst, full of themselves to be viewed as anything, but obstacles our true 'heroes' must deal with toward the happiness they both so richly deserves. Gotta give that to Gerald: we all know rich people are mostly assholes, but the way he writes them makes truly them looks like soulless demons! Take Maryann McManus, for instance... what a cunt. The fucking air of righteous moral superiority she displayed toward O'Reilly has no business coming out from someone who bared bastards from a man of God and kept leaving in sin with him, a man, it's worth reminding, who had no problem protecting the identity of pederasts for the Catholic church... Bitch should worry less about how God will deal with ol' Jimbo and worry way more about how the Almighty will deal with her!

As for the McGuffin that is the secret pedo file, which is the narrative drive of this story... I'm honestly starting to lose interest in it. I don't see why the Church is taking so long with dealing with Maryann, one way or the other, and I don't see what leverage she can really get out of it, given that she still doesn't have control of her 'husband''s estate, months after making it clear she could go nuclear on the Church if she didn't get exactly what she wanted. This should have been settle way before Kincade was made aware of the situation; it feels like this whole thing keep being dragged out for narrative purpose... which, ironically, is now hurting the narrative.

A situation like this is why it's never a bad idea to, at the very least, let someone you trust read your story before you post it. Author may not need an editor... but a second pair of eyes isn't gonna hurt them either. I'm still in this, though - RG is one of the most interesting writers around here. 'Just wish he had someone, looking over his shoulders, making sure that everything remains synch-up.

I've spent good money on works not as good by at least half.

Very good, thanks for all the hard work 5*

Men who accept cheating and women smarter and more sexed up than the men. Mix in a bunch of political crap and RG has a story.

looking into those bowels of humanity the aspects are humongous and deadly, TK U MLJ LV NV

The story line is leaving the sexual misconduct of the three lawyer wives behind and is becoming a political misconduct mystery.

The writer is a master at hiding the plot changes from the reader.

Excellent story, I enjoy the twists and turns.

Enjoying the ride again...can't wait for the next chapter! Thanks for the story and keep it going.

"Buckeye Fan"

I wanted to wait until this story was complete, but I finally broke down and read it. I have read Crime and Punishment many times... I love it. Now I have to wait to read more chapters....sucks. I like that you wrote James into this. maybe...some GOOD closure from Simone? Right, we can wish. Simone deserves some heart break from James. Pat and Steve are great characters, Pat is one of my favorites. I like his attitude. Steve and Susan both need an eye opening day of reckoning. Hopefully Steve puts Todd in his place and then some. It will be interesting on how you deal with the church and government abuse cover-up. I'm sure Pat will be involved eventually. R.G. you keep writing and I will keep reading. Thank You...8 chapters, 5 stars each.

New York must be a torrent of corruption. I'm looking forward to how the pedophile

priest thread is developed. Fascinating.

By the way, it's Red Sox, not Red Socks. That was unforgivable, and I'm not even a

fan.

Thank you for a most compulsive read. Having just come across your writing I am a big fan. Can't wait to see what happens next. Also Love the way the story is running parallel but so far separate from the original series which was superb.

Isn't it well known that the United States Attorney for the Southern District can just send people into an Attorney's office and take any information they want?

You are taking what was a great story (the original 4 part story ) and creating something even better. It's like as if the bonus tracks on a DVD movie exceeded the movie itself.

Far too many characters and subplots... It takes away from the emersion and enjoyment trying to keep track... JMO

-jaye-

Yes, it is complex, internecine, etc. I withhold judgement and am happy to see it unfold. This writer is odd: he has a great flair for dialogue but has many “unforced errors” in punctuation and grammar. I read and subconsciously “autocorrect” as I go, and don’t have any problems. I probably couldn’t write decent dialogue that would stand approval for an elementary school primer. But, hey, that’s what editors are for.

This is compulsive reading. There are no hero’s or heroines and everyone is deep In skullduggery. No-one can be trusted, not even fuckbuddies. It is like a modern version of the Borgias set in New York State with the Catholic Church at the heart of the cesspit. I love it! 5 stars.

Moral, professional, financial and personal corruption that make even Democrats cringe.

Well written, but too many characters. Hard to keep abreast of who’s who and relationships. Changed the score from a 3 to a 4 because of the excellent writing, but virtually no sex in this chapter of a loving wives tale.