by Joe456
aside from this story being hard to read, I did fill in some of the misspelled words, sorry I tried to follow along with it, but I had to quit reading it about half way through, I hope if you write another one you get an editor for your stories
You seriously are some kind of defective jackass.
You NEVER give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Look up constructive--you might learn something.
You are so whiny and pissy. You hate just about every lesbian story on literotica yet you NEVER submit any stories of your own for scrutiny. Why is this??
I imagine it is because you genuinely cannot write your way out of a wet paper bag...even if someone started a hole in it for you!
Seriously--post a story of your own. Let's see if your writing capabilities can stand up to scrutiny (Seriously doubt this).
Do everyone a favor and piss off to Asstr or some other site where no one has to read your stupid whining about "this story is too..." "I only read part way..."
LOL--jenorma, No1curr. Write something yourself and post it or fuck off.