All Comments on 'Crystal Ch. 07'

Not bad for what you have. The main things I hope that happens in the story is Jasper fails and that he gets his ass kicked. I'm surprised that none of the heroes recognised pollen. I'm still trying to figure out the way that you might go with the story. But please whatever you do don't have anything such as rape scenes inside this story I hate those.

Need the whole Max back and the heroes need to win a bit more positively.

I know, I know, there are some mistakes that I made so I'm going to correct them now (although it won't do any good now that you've read the chapter):

1. When Dictator Jones release Jasper from his mental hold, it should've said that he started coughing.

2. When the heroes are in the mind of Dark Matter, Commander Shinobay should had said Dr. Walton's name, not Dr. Genie.