All Comments on 'Dad Caught Me with His Friend!'

Where in the heck did the story go?

It started off with some real potential! Great descriptions but suddenly she whacked off her top and her tiny tits were apparently enough to get him going....then it was over

No story, it needed more development, and a better ending. You can end with the dad catching them, but get a story going first.

Where did the story go.

This isn't a story. It's an idea for a story.

You call this a Story? OMG

There was almost no detail put into the story, I write stories on here so I know it's hard but if you put in more effort it will get better.

This was my first crack at this...I definitely rushed it and I'm gonna work at it

NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

much longer better details about everything make everything

completely buildup even if it's needing chapter2~chapter3~chapter4~chapter5

IF NOT you really do need stop stories like what everybody saying ...................

you've got excellent ideas going around this story

you've got awesome ideas going around this story

you've got spectacular ideas going around this story ..................

slowwwwwwwwwwwww downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn buildup everything

perfect details about everything .................. this story coulda been

this story shoulda been - the h.o.f.\ the hot ..................................

REVISE THIS

if your gonna make her father\her uncle fuck her same time DO NOT

do not DO NOT do not make the father\the uncle literally fucking each other

Your premise is okay, but this is a one shot story. I'd suggest enhancing it, take it down, add more to it.

If you want reluctance, add it in.

But I don't see how they went from

"I'm not doing it"

to 5 mins later "Oh jesus."

It's really good. I am a writer for fun and I don't do anything half as good as anyone here. I've read many stories and they are waaaaaaaaay better than what I write. Everyone back off of the writer!

NOT EVERY WRITER CAN KNOCK OUT A WINNER FROM THE BEGINNING!!

Nice story, needs more detail and too short

Wrong category but not bad